Guilt by Mlmonty

Guilt

Guilt. It wasn't an emotion he was familiar with. Truly he didn't think he ever felt it before. Why should he? He was the Lord of the West. He was the law. What he says goes, right? Sesshoumaru ran a clawed hand through his silky silver hair. He had to consciously hold in a sigh at his wayward thoughts. It did no good to second guess his decisions. What was done was done. There was no going back. Even if he did wish he could undo this damage. When did he start to doubt his decisions once he decided on an action?

Once more he looked to the pale figure on the bed. She glowed in the moonlight, her ethereal display belying her fragile condition. True he didn't want her as a mate but he couldn't help ask himself, could he have gone about it differently? She didn't want him any more then he wanted her. Her ebony locks glittered where the light touched them. Vaguely the sight gave him the impression of stars in a moonless sky.

He could blame this whole mess on Inuyasha, after all, if he hadn't abandoned the girl neither of them would be in this position. He couldn't find the monk and slayer she had traveled with. They escaped even his attempt at detection, quite the feat. He had sent out his best trackers looking for any sign of them to notify the group of the development. His operatives assured him that there was no lead not followed, but after months of searching, they came back ignorant of where they were.

Not that it would have changed things but perhaps she would have accepted her fate instead of fighting him at every turn. Her friends could have explained to her why it was necessary to mate to save his families' honor. Well what little there was left of it anyway. Between Inuyasha and their father, Sesshoumaru wasn't sure they still had any familial honor left. By the gods, how did this come about?

He found her wondering about the Western Lands almost a year ago. She looked like death warmed over, appearing more dead than the resurrected miko. Her clothes were both torn and thread bare from constant travel. Her hair once loose and free shining midnight locks were dulled with dirt and natural oils. Matted beyond repair, they had to cut them from above her plump little hind end to brushing gently at her shoulders. She had lost weight, too much of it. She was never large to begin with, probably from the active life she led. Her genetics played a part in it as well she was naturally small. When he found her though, her face was gaunt and her ribs could be seen through the tears in her shirt. Her eyes, that's what bothered him the most. They were a dull dark blue and reminded him eerily of a corpse who's eyes had been left open. They had haunted him for weeks after he brought her home, both during the day when he had to look into those haunting orbs and at night when he dreamt of their vacant glow.

She had carried no supplies and he was later amazed to find out that she had been wondering aimlessly for two months. Later he had learned that she had been given no supplies when Inuyasha had turned her out. When he first laid eyes on her, and after the initial shock of recognition and seeing her in that condition was over, he was furious. He remembered the vivacious girl from before Naraku was defeated. He may not have given her more than a passing glance before they allied but that in itself was unusual. Normally he didn't give a human a glance at all, most demons only received a passing one. To see her reduced from something so vibrant to something barely alive was infuriating. There were few who could summon a love of life in the horrors of today's age, and in his opinion to crush one of those few was a crime.

His attempt to question her was met initially with silence. If he didn't recognize her scent under lying the filth he would have doubted it was truly her, she had changed so drastically. He had to take careful shallow breaths and deliberately filter out the repulsive odors. That was something he had never had to do in her presence before and it only fueled his rage. She had always been remarkably clean for a human, smelling like a tantalizing scent of melon and lotus flowers.

Once more Sesshoumaru's golden eyes drifted from the window to gaze at Kagome. Her eyes were closed preventing him from seeing her dazzling orbs. By the gods how did it come to this? He should have realized that she was still damaged emotionally. He didn't, she had seemed fine, she had slowly painstakingly come back from her self imposed emotional death.

Another wave of crushing guilt clenched at his heart. It felt like he was suffocating from the weight of it. His golden eyes clouded again in remembrance as they drifted toward the window. He made sure to keep his hearing trained to her breathing and heart rate even as his memories distracted him. Hopefully soon she would awaken and would yell at him, cry, anything at this point would be welcome. He had grown to hate silence from her.

Since questions were met with silence, Sesshoumaru had decided that perhaps a shock would loosen her tongue. The plan was to pick her up and drop her into a nearby stream. The cold should have knocked her back to her senses. It should have anyway. When he had gotten within arms length she stiffened. Her body tensed preparing to flee. He dismissed it, after all he was not a friend despite her gifting him with a restored arm, he had tried to kill her twice. Perhaps that was his first mistake in this ordeal, he dismissed her reaction. Thinking back he realized that he was probably in a mild state of shock himself. It would explain why he didn't question her rising scent of fear when she had never feared him before and after the defeat of Naraku they had parted amicably enough. It would also explain his rage at her condition, he had even blamed her for letting herself get like that.

Guilt smothered him. Perhaps he was as much to blame as Inuyasha was. This time the sigh escaped before he strangled it off. He should have questioned but he didn't. He was too furious and desperate for answers. What could have reduced such a stubborn headstrong creature to this shell of a being? He nearly killed Inuyasha when he found out. He would have if Kagome hadn't distracted him by running. His thoughts had again drifted off topic. Perhaps it was to be expected.

When he got within striking distance she whimpered, but again he dismissed it. The rage was rolling off of him by this point. Had he so seriously misjudged her character? She had always seemed so strong. When he took the final step toward her she trembled. True she was physically weak but she had always made up for it in other ways causing one to forget her lack of strength. It was when he grabbed her intent on the stream to wash off some of the smell and bring her to the present that it happened. The fear he had once so craved from this female was present and was so palatable he could taste it. It overrode all other scents and was distracting beyond anything he'd smelt before.

Kagome began to thrash in his grip making him tighten his hold on her least he drop her. Her fear wasn't the tangy aroma he'd always craved, it was bitter on his tongue, burning his nose with it's potency. It was the most disturbing thing he'd ever encountered. Vaguely he noticed she was much thinner then he originally thought, she was severally malnourished. Tossing her into the stream he had expected her to surface sputtering and yelling at him. A smirk, hardly noticeable, graced his features. True she had some annoying names for him but he looked forward to the argument, things had been dull lately. No one other than her and his brother ever argued with him. Inuyasha barely counted. Sesshoumaru held little respect for him, unlike he did for this woman. It also helped that when she argued with him she actually was trying to make a point, where as his annoying half-brother just yelled expletives.

He watched as she sunk below the water her expression one of shock. She looked up at him through the sun dappled water then closed her eyes. He should have known something wasn't right. He ignored it, he was still furious with her for letting herself get into this state. It took him a few moments to realize what she meant. She wasn't going to surface in a righteous rage and reprimand him on manners. She had no intention of surfacing at all. His smirk vanished and without thinking he jumped into the chest high stream to grab her. Her hair flowed around her like a water nymph. The water was freezing and numbing on impact as he quickly grabbed her, an unnamed emotion surfacing that at the time he didn't bother to evaluate.

Another mistake made he realized looking back. How could he have missed it? The knot in his chest tightened again. He remembered ruthlessly pushing it away at the time, but now looking back he recognized it. Fear. It's the same emotion he felt looking at her so lifelessly lying on the bed now. Well other than guilt. Damn, he was a fool. He should have seen it, all of it. This time he didn't bother trying to strangle the sigh that escaped.

Once the fire was burning he stripped her and displayed open shock on his flawless face. She was covered in scars. Punctures on her upper arms from where claws had dug into the tender flesh should have tipped him off to the truth. Taking the opportunity presented by her being unconscious he decided to examine her. One of her ribs protruded at an angle that indicated it had been broken once. He passed over it, dismissing it. She was always jumping into danger without thinking it through the only thing that saved her was her quick thinking and Inuyasha's strength. Another mistake made. Claw marks were on her stomach, shallow enough for her to survive but deep enough for scaring.

So many wounds adorned her but he wrote them off. She lived the life of a warrior despite being a kind hearted priestess. He knew she hated battle. She'd told him when they had traveled together looking for Naraku. They'd had many conversations much to Inuyasha's annoyance. She had proclaimed him a friend when they departed company though he never reciprocated the sentiment. He should have seen it, but he didn't want to. Even back then there were the signs of what could come, but he turned a blind eye refusing to believe it would come to that.

She was unconscious till her clothes dried, but he didn't worry Sesshoumaru knew that she was just exhausted. Thankful in a way that she wouldn't know that he'd stripped her, he redressed her and waited. He wouldn't bring up the wounds, they were old, though in the back of his mind something nagged at him that they weren't old enough. When she came to she looked heartbroken when she realized she'd failed.

He was again angry but not as much as before. How dare she not be thankful for him saving her? How dare she decide she'd embrace death? He once again questioned her but was met with silence. Sickened he grabbed her again holding her tight knowing she'd fight him. He was right, the scent of fear clung to them both. Quickly he knocked her out again and flew off. He'd take her back to Inuyasha.

The conversation was strained. Inuyasha didn't look happy to see the woman he claimed to love, something had happened. Sesshoumaru knew Kagome loved his brother, she'd confessed it in one of their nightly chats away from camp. She also confessed her fear that it wasn't her that loved him but the remembered emotions that were once Kikyou. She also feared that that was what Inuyasha loved in her, the memories of Kikyou. He saw the looks between the two but dismissed them. It wasn't his concern, it was between the two of them. Faint but lingering was the scent of the dead miko. Kagome's fear was, if possible, stronger than when he touched her.

He reprimanded his brother for not taking care of her. He didn't seem to care. Her scent of fear spiked at the mention of her staying and him taking care of her. What was he missing? He thought. Looking back he asked, why did he miss it? He shouldn't have, but he did telling himself it wasn't his concern. So he left, another mistake.

Sesshoumaru took a moment to wallow in despair. Gods how could he have been so blind? He focused again on Kagome's breathing and heart rate. Comforted by it he once again delved into memories he wished he didn't have.

Two weeks and he was heading back to see them. His beast nagged at him, nipping at his thoughts until finally he caved in just to prove to the damned thing that everything was fine. He wasn't so sure himself his conscious said. Things should have been fine. Inuyasha had asked Kagome to be his mate before the final battle and Sesshoumaru gave his blessings. They loved each other and Kagome would make a great mate for anyone. But why was she alone in the forest half starved? It didn't matter he told himself. Why did she not carry the scent of being a mate? She was still pure, never touched. After a year of being trapped in this time and Naraku's defeat, it didn't make sense. She should be heavy with pup and mated by now. She wasn't, she looked scarred of her mate to be.

He heard the yelling first. He was still far enough away that he could mask his scent and aura in time to not be detected. It was time for answers, there were too many questions. What he saw caused him to almost loose control. His beast lunged at its bindings trying to take over. Kagome sat on the ground as Inuyasha stood over her berating her. Only now did he notice something he missed two weeks ago. The subjugation beads were gone. Sesshoumaru wondered briefly why she took this verbal abuse, she never had before, even from him. She'd put him in his place despite him being stronger than his half brother and without the safety of the beads. This time the ranting was by far worse than any he had previously witnessed.

Soon a figure emerged from the thick forest surrounding the hut. The dead one dressed in her red and white robes walked calmly onto the scene. Inuyasha stopped his abuse when he caught her foul odor. Sesshoumaru glided closer under the cover of the trees so he could hear what they said. He was still a good distance away due to his superior hearing.

"What is she doing back, Inuyasha, I thought you got rid of her?" the priestess's aura pulsed with malice.

"I'm sorry but Sesshoumaru found her and brought her back." Inuyasha looked genuinely regretful almost like a puppy who had displeased his master.

"Then why didn't you make him take her?" her tone was cold, heartless.

"I couldn't, Sesshoumaru has a soft spot for her. I'm lucky she didn't tell him what happened. He may not care about humans but he's protective of her. He'd have killed me if he found out I sent her away without supplies."

Sesshoumaru had to keep a tight hand on his beasts' leash. What Inuyasha said was true, he did have a soft spot for the little priestess. He wasn't sure why but his beast was viciously protective of her. It was snarling to get loose and rip the bastard pup apart. To think he was this mistaken in his judgment. He had granted permission for their mating because he thought that Inuyasha would protect the woman. Gods how wrong he was.

"Just kill her this time. You're too lenient with her. She's already proven she's not good enough to be a servant," with this Kikyou walk past the two and into the hut.

"Well you heard her, wench, no more chances for you." Inuyasha raised his claws ready to do as he was commanded. "You know all you had to do was stay away and you'd have lived. You really are a dumb bitch."

Sesshoumaru didn't wait anymore. He was in front of Inuyasha before he had a chance to start the blow. Poison leaked from his claws burning away at the bastard's wrist. Never before had the desire to not only kill but maim been so strong and he was doing little to hold back. The acrid odor of burnt flesh and the sweet smell of his poison filled the air between the two.

"Now, little brother, is that anyway to treat your mate?" Sesshoumaru's voice was cold enough to cause someone with sense to rethink their actions.

"That bitch ain't my mate!" Obviously Inuyasha didn't have much in the sense department and was seriously lacking in survival instincts as well. "Kikyou's my mate!"

"I do not recall giving you permission to mate the un-dead one. I do recall before the final battle with Naraku giving you permission to mate the priestess." His tone said it all. He was furious. As head of their family he was to be consulted on such matters. It was a slight that he wasn't. Worst of all instead of informing him of the change of heart he refused protection of her in favor of another and abused his approved mate to be. That was when he first started feeling it, guilt. He was guilty of not checking up on his family to make sure everything was as it should be. He held little affection for the bastard pup but he did hold some for the priestess. He had ignored the signs when he found her and even returned her to her abuser. Now he has to make it right.

"Feh, I don't need your permission to take a mate," Inuyasha should know this wasn't true. He may not live in the Western Lands but he was still a prince of it though exiled. He was bound under familial laws.

"That, little brother, is where you're wrong. For your crimes against your intended you can be punished. For taking a mate without approval you can be punished. For trying to kill your intended, the one this Sesshoumaru approved of at that, you can be killed." Sizzling could be heard coming from Inuyasha's wrist. The flesh was melted away and he was trying disparately not to show his excruciating pain to his pompous brother. Blood would have been dripping to the soft grass below if it wasn't for the poison coagulating it. The delicate white bones of his wrist were visible and slowly spider webbing.

Kikyou emerged from the hut, arrow pointed at Sesshoumaru. "You are not welcome here, demon."

He never took his eyes off his brother as he responded. "It is you who is not welcome anywhere, corpse." He could see her tense in rage in his peripheral vision. "Do not interfere in family matters."

"Inuyasha is my mate, that makes it my business."

Sesshoumaru snorted, "Hardly, soul stealer. I gave my approval to Kagome to mate with the whelp not you. You have no standing in our family and no say in our affairs." A crack was heard in the ensuing silence. Inuyasha's wrist was not broken but shattered. No amount of time would repair it. His blood was too weak to heal a shattered bone, if it had only broken in time it would have healed.

The twang of the bow string signaled Kikyou had released an arrow. Almost too late Sesshoumaru realized that it wasn't aimed at him. Releasing Inuyasha he spun around and caught the arrow between two fingers. The holy energy stung his flesh, he was thankful that the un-dead one was no where near as strong as Kagome. He snapped the arrow and preceded to attack the corpse. He was able to knock her out before Inuyasha gathered his wits enough to attack. Again it wasn't aimed at Sesshoumaru but Kagome. 'What the hell is going on? Why do they want her dead so badly?'

None of it made sense to him, he couldn't figure it out. Later he would again feel the pangs of guilt when he found out that they believed that with her dead the other would live again. During his battle with Inuyasha, Kagome took the chance to run. It was the first move she made. Sesshoumaru's beast took the chance to gain control and pursue her. Inuyasha was severely wounded by this point and his beast was more concerned with Kagome now that the immediate threat was over. Looking back he realized he was worried as well. Why couldn't he just admit at least to himself his feelings? Perhaps it would have made things easier.

He caught up to her soon enough. Her leg had been broken sometime before he had arrived. It was necessary to knock her out again before transporting her back to his castle. She didn't like to be touched, not that he could blame her after he found out what was going on, and would fight him and hurt herself even more. He left Inuyasha behind, he didn't know if the disgrace would survive nor at the time did he care. Kagome was his beasts priority and for once Sesshoumaru didn't argue.

He had turned her over to his personal healer an old demoness that had delivered him and Inuyasha, even their father. He wasn't happy when he found out about the extent of her injuries, most having healed poorly over that last year. Her malnourishment had to be addressed as soon as possible. His healer believed the only reason she was still alive was due to her priestess powers. Over the next month Sesshoumaru's beast would throw a tantrum if Kagome wasn't within sensing range. They found out soon enough that she was deathly afraid of any male other than him. Even so he wasn't able to touch her without her becoming terrified for a long time.

Slowly the story came out of how her condition occurred. After Sesshoumaru had left the little pack they traveled to their village to celebrate and rest. Inuyasha had built a hut in his forest a good distance from the village but close enough to buy supplies when needed. At first their friends stayed with them. Somehow Inuyasha had convinced Kagome to remove the subjugation beads. That was the start of the problems. Their fights were more often now and bordered on violent. The monk and slayer tried to mediate but in the end stated that they were going to leave and urged Kagome to come along. She sent the kit but remained, she couldn't believe things would get worse, they had to get better.

She never saw her friends and kit after that. Sesshoumaru had a dark suspicion as to what happened to them but so far he hasn't been able to prove it. They left close to a year before he found Kagome and the forest is large. There are many places to hide things never meant to be found. It would explain why his best trackers weren't able to locate them, they were searching for living people. Sesshoumaru frowned unnoticeably perhaps it was time to send another party out only this time inform them of his suspicions.

Things did get worse for Kagome. The border line violence escalated to violence. From claws being dug into her arms where he gripped her during arguments to being hit. Inuyasha was guilt ridden afterwards, at first. Not two months along and Kikyou showed up. Inuyasha didn't seem surprised. At first she didn't stay long a few hours to talk to Inuyasha then she'd leave again only to return a few weeks later. Soon she was living there. Kagome was reduced to a servant in her own home. She dared not speak up about the treatment, she had broken bones by then.

Kikyou and Inuyasha mated leaving Kagome to take care of them. She was now being starved if things weren't done to Kikyou's satisfaction. Nothing ever satisfied her. One night Kagome over heard them talking. It was Kikyou's belief that if Kagome were to die then her soul would not pass on but seek to join the rest of it. Thus bringing Kikyou back to life. The jewel had been destroyed right after the final battle and hope of it resurrecting the dead one with it. They needed a new way to bring her to life.

Kagome refused to believe Inuyasha would kill her. Once he had loved her, right? Sesshoumaru wasn't sure anymore, after he heard the tale. Had it all been an act? Did he love her only to be blinded by his old love for Kikyou? It didn't matter really, what's done is done. It seemed Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to kill her, not yet anyway. Perhaps it was a twisted attempt to spare her life. He sent her away under threat of death. She was forbidden to return to their old village or stay withing Inuyasha's Forest and couldn't return to her time anymore. So she wandered aimlessly until Sesshoumaru found her. She had been given no supplies not even a bow and arrows for defense. She survived only by hiding from everything. The once fearless woman now afraid of her shadow.

It disgusted Sesshoumaru still. He kept her close for several months while debating what to do with her. His beast was pleased as long as it could see or hear her. He had her placed in a room adjoining his that way he could hear her at night as well. Several times he had to go in to sooth away fears. Eventually he decided the only way to rectify the problem was to take her as his mate. His beast had been nipping at his conscious with that suggestion for far too long. Now that he thought about it he realized it had been doing that since he joined their pack to hunt Naraku and had gotten to know her. Damn it he was a fool.

He had ignored his beast then since she was to mate his bastard half brother. He convinced himself at the time that it was for the best. They loved each other. He convinced himself that while she was a good mate for anyone he didn't need a mate nor did he harbor feelings for her. While she considered him a friend he didn't need a friend. After all he had only spared her a passing glance before they allied. Another sigh escaped unchecked and he turned to her again his eyes locking on her arms. Thin silvery scars climbing the veins on each arm. He failed her again. He thought she was better by now.

He had ignored his beasts urges to find out how she faired with the half breed for the full year before he found her in the woods. He realized now that he ignored far to much in his life. He held off on telling her about his solution to the dilemma of her place. His beast long ago, and hell even himself, had started to consider her pack. He would take her as his mate and keep his families honor and be able to provide for her. It was the only way to really. It was his right as alpha to take on any mate not being cared for properly. She had not been, far from it. Had there been signs that she wasn't ready to deal with such a thing? He wasn't sure. Only now looking at her new scars did he come to terms that he cared for her.

True it wasn't common to take on another's mate as ones own, normally they were simply offered a place in the alphas house, but she never mated Inuyasha and he wanted to make up for his failures to her. It wasn't against the rules either since he had no mate already. For awhile he refused his beasts suggestion telling it that she was only an intended and didn't fall into that category. He knew even then he was making excuses. He hadn't held out long. Once she started to recover from her ordeal he told her of his intentions.

That had resulted in heated debates. She was against the idea stating she wouldn't be forced into a mating where her mate didn't even love her. Damn him he should have seen it. He had no idea she would take it to this length. She was too broken and it hurt his heart to think about how it had gotten so out of hand. It shouldn't have happened. She seemed back to her old self. She argued with him like before, her demeaning names no one else was allowed to get away with were resurrected. His missed the signs of a problem once again.

His eyes swept away from her again and looked out the window. The sun was coming up finally. He hadn't slept yet, how could he? The guilt was still there. As he watched the sun rise he thought about all their arguments since he told her he was planning on mating her. Looking back in everyone she had insisted that she would never mate someone who didn't love her. Now he noticed what she had left unsaid. She never mentioned how she would never mate someone she didn't love. His beast screamed at him telling him he should have reassured her. He should have told her he loved her.

He knew his beast loved her it had for years. He could never have taken her as a mistress, even if he did believe in the practice, his beast would never have allowed it. It would have marked her the first chance it got. At this point he was just thankful that Inuyasha hadn't taken her. It would have made things even worse for her. In an epiphany he realized why she did it. It was there all along and he missed it. Damn it again another mistake.

She had somehow fallen in love with him over her stay and that was why she never said she wouldn't mate a man she didn't love, because she did love him. By the gods he was dense. She believed that he didn't love her and was only mating her out of obligation. For a second his mask slipped. There was noone here to see other than the sleeping Kagome. If she were to wake up now and see him as he truly was he'd just be grateful that she was awake at all.

He hated it when she was silent. Her love of life had returned but her fear of a situation like the one with Inuyasha remained. She feared he didn't love her and would turnout to be like his brother who once proclaimed love for her. He didn't know of her fears. She never told him. No that wasn't true if he had been paying attention he would have seen it just like he did now. If he had just stopped and looked between the lines at the things left unsaid he'd have seen it.

He was too concentrated on restoring his families honor, making good by her, winning their arguments and silencing his beast to pay attention. By the gods he loved it when she argued with him. Even if it was over nothing it aroused him to no end. The way her eyes sparkled, her cheeks flushed and her body stiffened. Her hair always came undone if it was actually up or would become unruly if it was down. It gave her the look of being just bedded. He wanted to know if she'd look the same after he took her. He wanted to know if she held as much passion in the bed as she did when arguing.

Why didn't he just tell her? Why didn't he just acknowledge his feelings to himself? He got up from his seat by the window and went to sit by her on the bed. He knew why he didn't he was afraid. He'd never loved someone before, not like this. It had confused him as to why he was so furious to find her so broken both physically and emotionally. Now he knew, she was meant to be protected, she was meant to be wild and free of spirit. It was against everything she was to be so broken and it depressed him to no end and infuriated him to see it.

He moved a lock of hair behind her ear and settled down next to her. He needed to hold her right now just for a little while. He needed to know that there was still a chance to tell her he loved her. He was never more scarred in his life as when he smelt her blood. It was horrifying when he came upon the scene. She laid in the indoor hot springs back propped against a convenient moss covered boulder. Nothing seemed amiss except the smell of her blood at first. As he rounded the boulder and got a good look at her he noticed the water turning red. Her pale arms were flowing blood down them in torrents. The heat of the water causing the blood to keep from congealing. She'd procured a dagger somehow and sliced her forearms along the vein. She made no room for errors.

If it hadn't been for his superior sense of smell she would have succeeded in the attempt on her life. The smell of sulphur from the spring mixed with all the water diluting the blood dulled it's scent. Thank the gods he found her in time. The healer was able to stop the bleeding and give the unconscious woman a drink to promote blood production. Now all he could do was wait.

As the sun finished rising he held her tighter. He had a lot to make up for. He had a lot of explaining to do. Most of all he had to tell her he loved her, broken and all. He prayed to the gods as he drifted off that she'd agree to be his mate. This time he'd do it right. No orders and a proper courting. This time there was going to be no mistakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I'm going to use this to explain a few concerns about Guilt. It is in deed a one shot. Yes it does leave several questions at the end. The reason why is because it's simply Sesshoumaru's thoughts and reflections on what's happened. It is supposed to be implied that Kagome recovers in time. She is alive during his self recrimination. The end is supposed to give hope that everything works out. Personally I like to believe it does but it's up to you as the reader to draw your own conclusions. There is no right or wrong answer, it's up to you. I hope that answers my reviews and you can always email me if you have questions not addressed here. And thank you all for your kind words I haven't written in about 6yrs and am only just now breaking my block. Thanks again.