How Cliche (or Drama, Drama, Drama, Sex!) by MomoDesu

How Cliche

A/N #1: This is a total parody fic, not meant to be taken seriously!

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Kagome stormed to the well. Once again Inuyasha had pissed her off, once again she had sat him so hard that he would be picking dirt out of his teeth for weeks, once again she was going home so she could sulk and wait for him to come and apologize to her. The only problem was she didn't think he was going to come after her and apologize like she hoped.

Once again she found him with his favorite clay pot, she blew her top. This wasn't the first time, of course. It was one of many. Yet for some reason this time she really lost it. After all of the sweet words he had said to her when they were alone, this was how he went and showed his feelings. She had always suspected that he only saw Kikyo when he looked at her, but he finally flat out admitted it.

Swiftly Kagome ran through the trees, trying to keep up with Inuyasha. She knew where he was going and wanted to protect him from the older miko. She had been bound and determined to take her love to hell with her, and Kagome was bound and determined to prevent the older woman from taking her love to hell. There were still too many words left unsaid, and damn it all, she was going to say them before this crazy ride of shard hunting was over.

Her running came to a screeching halt when she saw the glow of Kikyo's Shinidamachu surrounding the dead priestess and the hanyou Kagome had grown to love. A scant move to the left to get a better view around the tree she was hiding behind revealed the hanyou and priestess in a loving embrace.

"After you have completed the jewel, will you be coming with me or staying with my reincarnation? She is tarnishing the soul that I had kept so pure."

"I'll return to you. Don't you remember the promise I made to you?"

"Very well."

"Every time I look at her I see you. I wish it was you traveling with us. I could send her back to her time, you could seal the well, and we could look for the shards together."

"It couldn't happen. You know she will never leave you. Bide your time until the jewel is whole once more."

After hearing those words Kagome sprinted back to the camp site and quickly packed her bag. She told Sango part of the reason she was leaving, though she left out a lot. She summed it up to Inuyasha pissing her off once again and she needed a break. Of course she knew that the older girl knew better.

Luckily they were close enough to the well she could make her hasty escape, even though she knew Inuyasha would scent her out and follow her.

Just like clockwork, about half way to the well he caught up with her.

"Oi, wench! Just where the hell do you think you are going?" He used his demonic speed to catch up with her and jumped in front of her.

She stomped her foot. "I'm going home!" She side stepped him and continued on her merry way.

"Oh no you don't!" He grabbed the backpack that was on her back by the handle and pulled her to a halt once more. "We are going to investigate that rumor of Naraku in the north. Then you can go."

"I saw you with Kikyo again, alright! I need time to cool off!"

"So! You have caught me with her before and never got this mad!"

"That's before I knew all you saw was her when you looked at me! I...I..." her anger started to waver and her lip started to quiver. "I kept hope! You will never look at me like you do her."

Inuyasha dropped her bag. "You're right. I'm sorry it has to be like this, but you will never compare to her."

"So that time in the springs..."

"Yeah. I needed a substitute."

In a total absence of thought she swung her hand back and slapped him as hard as she could. When he recovered her looked at her in shock. "What the hell was that for? You normally sit me!"

"Great idea! Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, SIT!!"

With the hanyou subdued on the ground moaning in pain, she turned on her heel and started walking toward the well. As one last little hoorah she turned back to him. "I hate you Inuyasha! Have fun with your clay pot! Be damn glad I'm on birth control!" Now that that was out of her system, she stormed off. She didn't exactly feel good, but she felt a bit better.

It wasn't until she got to the well that it all started to hit her. She plopped down next to the well and leaned back on it, finally letting the tears flow and cursing the day Inuyasha was born.

"Why couldn't you be more like your brother?" she whined. She had developed a bit of a fascination with the older youkai after their first meeting. Watching him fight with such grace and poise truly amazed her. It was a quality that came from a true fighter, one that only seemed to eat, breathe, and sleep battle. Also with that grace and poise Kagome had this sick fantasy of how good he would be in bed. If he had those sort of moves on the battlefield, she could only imagine how he could utilize that body in the bedroom. Not to mention he was beyond handsome to the point of being beautiful. If one didn't know that demons existed they would think he was an ethereal being or possibly a god.

And what about that great hair? Kagome was dying to know what what sort of things he used to keep that hair so perfect. There were times when he was distracted during battle that she wanted to run up and tackle him, just so she could run her fingers through his hair. Maybe even sniff it. Only time would tell, that is if she ever got close enough to do that. Or even if she ever saw him again. The way things looked now, she would be going back to her time for good.

"Damn you, Inuyasha! Why couldn't you be more like Sesshoumaru!" she yelled to the empty forest, making any of the wildlife that was there scatter away from the angry girl.

At least she thought it was an empty forest. "Inuyasha isn't capable of being anywhere near in the power and greatness of this Sesshoumaru."

She jumped as the tall youkai with great hair calmly walked through the trees and out of the clearing the well stood in.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Were you expecting someone different, miko?"

Not even thinking about what she was doing, she stood up and marched over to him, poking him in the chest. "You and your brother are more alike than you know, mister. My name is Kagome. KA GO ME!"

"I am fully aware of that fact KA GO ME. But is miko not your title?"

"No! I am just a normal high school girl that was sucked down that stupid well and ended up in this stupid time period to find these stupid shards and I'm surrounded by dead sexy demons that see me as nothing more than a stupid miko!" She ended her little rant gasping for breath.

"As far as this Sesshoumaru is concerned, you are far from normal."

"Why thank you for your opinion."

"Your gratitude isn't necessary."

"Like I was giving it! All of you demons are the same! Extremely attractive yet extremely cocky!"

Sesshoumaru paused and looked down at the exasperated girl. "You find me attractive?"

"Did your status as a demon change?"

"You are a smart ass."

"I am feeling very emotional right now!"

"That is quite apparent."

"Thank you captain obvious!"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now."

Kagome thought for a moment. "My family."

"They will miss you, but that doesn't tell me why you want to live."

"Inuyasha."

"So you can watch him return to his dead priestess? Are you a masochist?"

She looked back up at him and pouted.

"Come on, everyone has a reason to want to live. At least humans."

The wheels in her brain kept spinning, trying to think of a reason that would satisfy Sesshoumaru so he would go on his happy way. She walked back over to the well and sat back down next to her back pack.

"My friends."

When she looked up again he was squatting down in front of her, leaving them nose to nose.

"Those aren't very convincing reasons to want to live, little miko. Convince me that you want to live, and I just may grant your wish."

That was when she got it. She knew the one thing that would disgust him enough to leave her alone. Or possibly take her head off point blank with his claws. Either way, it was worth a try.

"I want to get laid."

For once in his life, the cold demeanor that he usually held dropped for a moment and he sat down in front of her. "Pardon?"

"I want to get laid. By a real demon. That half brother of yours sucks in bed. He wouldn't know what a clitoris was if it came up and bit him on the nose." She knew that would get him ticking. She wasn't exactly expecting him to sit down in front of her. She also wasn't expecting what he did next.

As gracefully as he could with one arm, he undid the leather bindings on his armor and lifted it off of his shoulders and let it fall to the ground, where it landed in the dirt with a heavy thud. Next was his mokomoko-sama, though he lay that on the armor with the upmost care.

Kagome just stared at him wide eyed. "What the hell are you doing?"

He began to loosen his clothes pulling pieces off and stacking it on the neat pile that had started with his armor. "What does it look like this Sesshoumaru is doing? I am going to give you a comparison. It is your dying wish to rut with a full demon, is it not?"

"You've got to be kidding me?"

"I assure you I am not. Now you are a little too over dressed for the occasion," he gestured to her still fully dressed form.

"Are you sure you want to 'rut' with a filthy human?"

Sesshoumaru, now completely devoid of his clothing, looked at her clearly not amused. "I am granting you your dying wish. The least you could do is be grateful."

Kagome shrugged her shoulders. This wasn't exactly how she expected to end this day, or her life. That little naughty part of her mind decided to come forward, reminding her that this is the perfect opportunity to get that lust for the demon out of her system.

Piece by piece, Kagome removed her clothing, starting with her shoes. Soon she sat there in front of him, just as naked. On a last thought, Kagome reached into her bag and pulled out her blanket and laid it out on the forest floor, in hopes of being comfortable.

She sat on the blanket and stared at him nervously. "Well?"

"Well what, miko? You desire sexual pleasures from this Sesshoumaru, but as you can see," he gestured down to his semi erect 'little Tokijin', "I am not quite up to the challenge."

Kagome groaned. She knew what would fix the problem, as she had 'fixed' the problem when she was with Inuyasha the first time. Not to mention the times he begged her to do it again when they were alone on shard hunts.

Getting up on her hands and knees she crawled over to him and between his open legs. Not bothering to be delicate, she grabbed his erection with one hand, sliding it over the smooth skin a few times, trying to build up her courage.

Looking up into his eyes she lowered her head and gave him a small lick. She was rewarded with a small twitch, giving her the courage to continue. Again, she licked him lightly, though she jumped when he threaded one of his clawed hands into her hair.

"Continue."

She rolled her eyes at him and gave him one last lick before taking him into her mouth as much as she could. 'Well that got a response!' she said to herself, as he seemed to go from nearly flaccid to hard in a few seconds flat. She continued to work him with her hand and her tongue until the clawed fingers in her hair latched on nearly to the point of pain, pulling her away.

"Stop. Miko, stop."

Kagome looked up at him and pulled her mouth up his length until it came free from her lips with a little 'pop'. Before she knew what was happening, he had pushed her back away from him and flipped her over onto her stomach, pulling her hind end up in the air and sinking into her.

He was so much larger than Inuyasha, stretching her near virgin body beyond what she thought was possible. All thoughts gone, she dropped her arms and lay her forehead onto the blanket as he began to thrust into her roughly. She was rather surprised and shocked to find that she was actually getting pleasure out of the demon's rough handling of her.

"Fuck," he groaned. The girl below him was incredibly tight. He had been with many a demon and human, male and female alike, but none of them felt like this. He almost felt that if he stopped she would squeeze him to the point of physical harm. She seemed to like it, panting and moaning softly, even pushing her hips back at him.

"Sesshoumaru," she groaned. If this was what being taken by a full demon was like, she didn't want to die. She pushed her hips back at him as he thrust forward.

"You love being taken by a demon, don't you, miko?" he growled, thrusting harder than before.

She groaned, almost in pain. "Yes," she panted.

He laughed darkly. "Yes what?"

"Yes, I like it!"

"What is it that you like?"

"I like being fucked by a demon!" she cried, hoping that is the answer he was looking for.

"Good. That pleases this Sesshoumaru." A few more jerking thrusts and he fell over her back, completely spent. Using his arm for balance, he gently rolled the two of them over onto their sides. "Miko."

"Yeah."

"I am not entirely convinced that you wish to live."

"What?"

"I believe that I require a second evaluation. Possibly a third."

Kagome rolled her eyes and reached back to smack him. "You are nothing but an overgrown pervert."

"No, KA GO ME, I'm male."

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A/N #2: Another piece of crap that I had to get out of my head. I probably shouldn't have posted it, but I didn't want it rotting on my computer until the end of time and I'm way too sentimental to drag it to the trash can.

I also get tired of seeing so many 'Inuyasha hurts Kagome, Sesshoumaru saves the day' type stories, so I felt a little parody was in order. With a touch of sex.

I don't feel I am very good with lemons, so bear with me. I enjoy writing them, I just have a problem with it. Not a 'blushing the color of a tomato' problem, more of a problem with keeping it tasteful and hot yet not moving into the total smut category.

My first real try at parody, hope it was semi enjoyable XD

MD