hey i love your story so far i was wondering when you were going to update it. i can't wait the next chapters.

I really loved it please update and if anyone puts you down know that you have a t least one supporter.

the name should be "sesshomaru: confused by all means" and i loved it. please update soon.

*claps*
wicked job! i really liked the chapter! keep up the awesome work and please update whenever you can!

...From The Desk Of Sesshoumaru's FIend...

-Ashley

Hey there,

You've got potential and you've definitely improved from one chapter to the next. I have a bit of constructive advice to help you get even better, and I hope you take it as such.

Firstly, the net speak. There is a place for it and unfortunately it's not in a piece of fanfiction. When you're writing, try to write out the full word. Instead of U, use YOU. You can be the best writer in the world but if you use netspeak, it diminishes the quality of the work completely.

Secondly, spelling. You're 90% good but there are still some things that need work. This can be fixed in one of three ways. First and probably best choice, is find a beta. They are invaluable. My beta is so awesome and she catches every little thing that goes wrong. She also asks questions about the plot to make sure there are no plot holes, and comments when something is redundant or doesn't make sense.

The second option, which I also follow is write your story in microsoft word, then copy it into the window. When you're using word, you can use a spell check and believe me, your spell check is your best friend. While it won't fix all of your errors, it'll up it from 90% to 99% correct.

Thirdly, review your work before you submit it. However, this is the weakest option as I find that I miss the errors I make since I'm too close to the work.

You also need to figure out your contractions. They're decent, but they can be better. You're forgetting your apostrophe's for a lot of them. It is is it's. Its (without apostrophe) is possessive. Where is is where's, there is there's, etc.

As well, your quotations. Your quotations should always begin in a capital. even if it is 'Inuyasha started to yell at her, "You listen here Kagome"'. So even though the quote is part of the sentence, you're still using a capital. It should always have a capital after you open a quotation.

I do look forward to seeing a bit more of this fic though, and I'm really glad you're giving writing a try, it's certainly not easy, and it's even more nerve wracking when you see people leaving reviews. I know I get scared of every single review I get.

Good job.

Much better.

Netspeak has no business being in a work of prose. If you want to be taken seriously learn to spell correctly. Learn some grammar and add a bit of style. This might be your first story but that doesn't excuse laziness.

And I can't emphasize enough that you...is spelled Y-O-U. Not U. When you spell it that way it makes you look like an inbred idiot.

If you need help with that kind of thing this site adverts Beta Readers. You need one badly. I'm sure you'll take this as a flame and it is kind of harsh, but the best advice is always the most honest. And I'm being very honest here. This needs work. Big time. It's a barely readable mess right now and if you want anything close to real encouragement from real authors and not just fangirls, you'll find a way to make this not suck. Because as it is, it sucks ass.

this is pretty good...i really like it...
can i make a few suggestions? perhaps you should add some more description as to the characters motives so that we know what their thinking and why they do what they do...

another thing...perhaps you should proof read your chapter before you post or get a BETA...

if you want, i could beta for you....

finally...could you try and space out the paragraphs, like hit the enter bar twice once your done a paragraph...separating the paragraphs make it easier to read...

overall good job and please update soon!

...From the desk of Sesshoumaru's Fiend...

-Ashley