He smiled charmingly and joked, "If you ever feel tired of waiting for that man, or demon, as the case may be, my household is big enough for a second wife."

Kagome punched Miroku on the head and snorted. "As if, Miroku. In your dreams."

Stumbling after her retreating form the monk pleaded, "I was just joking! You'll not share this little jest between friends with Sango, right?"

Stopping, Kagome glanced over her shoulder at Miroku with a mysterious glint in her eye before resuming her steady pace.

He groaned. Women were devilish creatures! "Please??? She'll hurt me!"

A Sentinel Mother by Demonlordlover2
www.dokuga.com/spark/story/7334/1
*Reposting with permission from Demonlordlover* Marked by the gods, claimed by Sesshoumaru, Kagome gives up her dreams of a normal life to become mother to a special breed of youkai, the Sentinels.
Rating: NC-17 - Universe: Canon - Status: Complete - Genre: Action/Adventure
Updated: 12-22-07 - Chapters: 31 - Reviews 15 - Words 189,316

*I love this fic!

"What just happened?" Kagome whispered.

"We kissed." Sesshoumaru stated in a husky, passion-laden voice. Kagome felt as his cool fingers urged her chin up. She met his gaze uncertainly. "You did not enjoy it."

It wasn't a question. The tai-youkai for some reason was assuming. Kagome touched her fingertips to her lips and looked to Sesshoumaru.

"That's not true." She said softly. She closed her eyes, fiercely trying to squeeze back tears. What was going on here? What was this feeling? Is this...?

'Love?' Kagome thought faintly. 'It couldn't be...'

"What are you doing, Sesshoumaru?"

She met his gaze once more. Sesshoumaru looked to the sky, seemingly taking solace in the moonlight.

"Following in my father's footsteps." He said quietly.

Kagome frowned, unsure whether he meant that as a good or bad thing.

He looked to Kagome somberly. "I have fallen in love with you." He said bluntly.

*sighs* Such a wonderful fic!!! I was re-reading yesterday...

Triple Threat, by Irulanna (Mature Rated)

“Hey. Is it true you serve Higurashi-sama? That you’re gunning for “Number One” associate?” That was his first encounter with the term, whatever it was, but Sesshoumaru would have nodded an answer had he not been beaten to it.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, man. Prodigy or not – if those papers Yura’s uncle made were even the least bit truthful – the Sumiyoshi group is no trifling clan.,” the man – no, youth, – smirked. He eyed Sesshoumaru from head to toe, and it was apparent that he was not impressed with Sesshoumaru’s good looks or forbidding mien.

“And, Taisho, no matter how good looking people are, if they have nothing to back it up, then they’re useless after all, ne? Higurashi-sama ain’t shallow; and it’d be better if she had someone recognized by the Society.”

Sesshoumaru let out a displeased huff through his nose. “This Sesshoumaru thanks you for your concern,” foolish human, “However, I do not believe we have been introduced.” And for you to randomly insult this Sesshoumaru is annoying; furthermore, impertinent pup, I am recognized however only by those important enough in the know.

“It does not matter,” the young male thinly replied, “I’ve been training for the future Sumiyoshi-rengo head; I’m not going to let some new pretty boy take the position for Higurashi-ojou-sama’s right hand.” The strange hostile young man turned abruptly on his heel and moved to leave the corridor.

But before he could pass beyond the arch marking the end of the hall –

“Ouch – what the **** – what the **** is this freakin’ pastry doing here? That wasn’t there before! – “

– the youth tripped. On a richly topped chocolate éclair.

The young man grumbled as he glared at Sesshoumaru and the silver tray of pastries he carried.

“Watch where you drop those, will you?” The unnamed, embarrassed human snarled.

Sesshoumaru nodded, but calmly resumed his route as he balanced the small tray to wipe his claws clean of creamy chocolate that had somehow managed to smear his fingers in the time it took for the male to leave.

Sesshoumaru almost felt petty, but the slight smirk told of certain satisfaction.
-snicker- It's more like an unforgettable scene ;3

From : Having Fallen Off by LeSinner, Chapter 6

ADMINISTRATOR EDIT: Link to story is rated M - NO YIMs

Whispers and howls on the wind told him something ELSE had snatched her. Those incompetent, sorry excuses for kami had lost their hostage! This was no doubt becoming the worst night of Sesshoumaru's life. That damnable girl had been kidnapped twice while under his protection. The normally composed youkai seethed and aloud a rather wild snarl to pass his lips. How did the mutt only manage to lose her every few weeks he thought? If Sesshoumaru was all great and powerful like he claimed to be, why could he not protect a human girl for more than a day?

*laughs*

It's from We Keep Getting Stuck, by i am a bunny...

Awesome fic, if you don't know it yet, read first Stuck - search in the author's profile.

these all sound so hilarious xD

"This Sesshoumaru tires of waiting," he said, gazing out the side window. Kagome tried not to laugh. It was such a Sesshoumaru way of asking 'Are we there yet?'

He looked bored, but Kagome could feel his aura stirring with energy, like a puppy straining at its leash. It affected her too; Kagome practically wriggled in her seat, a giddy thrill zinging through her. She loved this. They'd driven for hours under cover of darkness to get this far from civilization, but it was so worth it.

As if sensing her enthusiasm, he turned and grinned; she grinned back.

"Don't forget the contingency plan."

Solemn nod. "If anyone sees, I render them dead—

"Unconscious, you render them unconscious—"

"And you douse them in liquor to discredit them."

"Right. Almost there."

From Dog at Heart by Tally Mark

Gina knew what last night was. "Sesshoumaru," she scolded, "you bad dog. Doing such a thing, then blabbing about it? Did you learn nothing when we were young?"

He made to go after her, but Gina stopped him. "You'll want to give her some time to cool down. Then be prepared to grovel."

"I don't grovel."

"You do now."

Sesshoumaru raised a brow as he glanced at her from the corner of his golden eyes. The things she was saying were strange and he very reluctantly felt an unwelcome curiosity bubbling in his chest. "You live in a well?" he asked blandly.

"No, of course not," she scowled before realizing that he wasn't trying to be mocking or funny, but that he truly did not know of the powers the well possessed and how she used them. "My home is through the well. I'm from the future... You didn't know that?" She asked incredulously. "Weird. I guess I just always thought you would have figured it out somehow."

Now that she thought about it, why had she figured that he knew she was from the future? It wasn't exactly a deduction one commonly made on their own.

I say, that girl is quite strange.

Yes, I concur.

She must be from the future!

Undoubtedly!

Kagome mentally shook herself and vowed to stop having fake conversations in her head.

This one also made me laugh:

I wish I could sit him like Inuyasha! She thought furiously and then smirked as an image of Sesshoumaru being magically pounded into the dirt came to mind.

She imagined it would go something like this:

"Sesshoumaru, sit boy!"

Wham!

Sesshoumaru transforms into a giant, acid breathing dog and devours her.


Of Gods and Demons by ToWriteLoveOnAPage
Chapter 6 and 7

"Oh really, cause dressing as a **** really sends out the feminist message, why don't you just wear a sign that says your prices." Kagome growled, "Moreover, I don't care what those two queens do. It's a ******* free country and I don't give a ****."

Sango muttered, "Gawd someone needs so medication cause I know they are caring some nastiness. STD alert." She was wearing her ever classic Sailor Jupiter garb as she wandered to stand beside Kagome.

Yura sneered crossing her arms over her tiny yellow costume, her red jacket falling off her shoulders. "Oh really, you ******* are just jealous that we can keep men satisfied." She flipped her hair.

"Oh really indeed. And I can keep Miroku plenty happy, just cause I am not a skank doesn't mean anything about our sexual life." She growled in Yura's face.

Suddenly a powder blue steak landed from a level above them. "In the name of good fashion taste I will defeat you." Jakotsu bellowed playing with his blonde pigtailed wig. And then he twirled and slapped Kagura in the face.

Best moment ever XD
Sugar We're Goin Down
www.fanfiction.net/s/6083219/1/Sugar_Were_Goin_Down
Rated M, no Yims!!!

I am beyond shocked that no one has quoted from this delectable MontiK fic aptly titled Underpants Gnomes. So here is a quote i love:


"What are you shouting about, woman?", Sesshoumaru asked in an exasperated tone.

"Don't you 'woman' me, Sesshoumaru!", Kagome shouted back, hand on her hips looking aboslutly livid. "You did it again! I don't know why you think you need to steal my underpants when we LIVE together! But you did it again!"

He frowned, "I did no such thing."

She gaped at him, "So how... just HOW? Did all my underwear dissapear from the dirty laundry AGAIN?!"

He got up from the couch deciding this needed to be dealt with. He breezed past the flustered Kagome and into the small laundry. He took a cursory sniff and nodded to himself. Just as he suspected.

"Underpants Gnomes", He stated vaguely before going back to indulge in a relaxing movie.

This has been use many times by several authors and in different formats.

"Miko"

"Youkai" Kagome replys.

"Woman" Sesshoumaru said, his tolerance slipping.

"Male." Kagome calmly says. He narrows his eye at her. "I know you know my name. Use it if you want my attention."

Pixie Kagome giggled, perched upon the miko’s shoulder with her legs crossed and her foot bobbing. She leaned forward and placed her chin in her hands, sighing wistfully. Have you ever seen a more perfect butt in all of Japan?

Shut up! Kagome squeaked, a blush coloring her cheeks. This is Sesshomaru we’re talking about here. Remember the last mess you got us into?

Pixie Kagome harrumphed. Sure sure, but come on. LOOK at that butt! It’s just so perfect and perky and round and… PERFECT!

Kagome bit back an embarrassed squeal. Nevertheless, her eyes were drawn to the taiyoukai’s rump, watching the muscles bunch and relax as he walked.

You’d do Houshi-sama proud, Pixie Kagome sniffled, flicking away an imaginary tear.

Okay, that was priceless. You know you'd look too. Thanks to ErinNicole and her wonderful story Mad World

I loves the Pixie Kagome

ADMINISTRATIVE EDIT: Story rated MA, no YIMs

“Chivalry’s dead, and Sesshoumaru-sama killed it.”
From Forthright's Lord Charming. I had to laugh at that line, it could be applied to a few different people I know. I love how she put that.

hey i think i have read this somewhere but i can't remeber what the story is called could you tell me please and the author if you don't mind.

storywriter dream wrote:
hey i think i have read this somewhere but i can't remeber what the story is called could you tell me please and the author if you don't mind.To what are you referring?

Its been brought to my attention that there are some concerns regarding whats being posted in this thread, and I happen to agree. Please remember that anything you post in this thread MUST be rated for ANYONE to be able to view, regardless of age. Certain topics and language are forbidden from being used as even in the fanfiction we rate certain sensitive topics and course language as M or MA. Keep that in mind please, while you are participating. If you are not sure about the line you wish to post then DON'T post it, or ask me or another Administrator for their guidance. We're always happy to help. Thank you!

"Oh yes, that's like killing two birds with one stone. You're definitely a strategist."

"I do not require stones to kill birds. In fact, birds are rather tasteless, and they do not satisfy hunger at all."

"No, no, I don't mean it literally! It's just a saying, meaning you can accomplish two objectives with just one action."

"Hn, the person who came up with it was obviously weak. The only animals he could kill were birds and even still, he had to use a stone."

=x

Educating the Educated » by Lil'RainbowSunsets www.fanfiction.net/s/7359298/1/Educating_the_Educated
Kagome has opened a school in the Feudal Era after the final battle. Upon her return to the past one day, she agrees to organise a birthday party for Rin. When something happens during the party that makes her decide to introduce Sex Ed, what will happen?
Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,972 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 9-25-11 - Published: 9-6-11 - Kagome & Sesshomaru

my goodness, i never thought this thread would have a full year without posting, I'm NOT bumping but i read something and thought of this so I'm posting in it:

"Do you really need to ask?" He leaned down to pick up their children then offered his free arm to his wife. As she took his offered arm, he wondered at a fate that would bring a woman into his life, torment him with said woman, remove said woman for five hundred years, than put them together permanently. Thinking he was glad he had left his life open to opportunity, he thanked his lucky stars that he had fallen for the Shikon Miko. She was his perfect match. "Speaking of things that I am just telling you, it is past time for us to complete the bonding process."

"I thought I was already your mate." She turned to him.

"That was the marking, the actual bonding requires a little more."

"And that would be?"

"We have to eat a child." He looked at the bassinet. "It is a good thing you had twins."

i laughed!
from Moving Forward www.fanfiction.net/s/3659734/1/Moving-Forward Rated M

She smiled a pitiful smile at Sesshomaru, “More for me then.” Kagome swallowed the two pills and a large gulp from her Gatorade. “Hey, why is my toilet seat broken?”

Sesshomaru’s missing memory flooded back to him and he sheepishly whispered, “I got angry that it wouldn’t call me Lord Fluffy.”

This is from Dokuga by kb rated MA.

This story has made me laugh and i think shows up Dokugians in the best possible way. As crazed fangirls who adore this pairing.

I have lots of favorites, but this one is what came to mind first.

"If you don't know what I think I know, how do you know I don't know as much as I think?"
- Fuyu, Tales from the House of the Moon

EDIT: This story is rated MA

Also,

"He was naked.

Even worse, he knew he was naked.

Well, okay, of course he would know if he were naked or not, but he knew that she would very definitely Not Approve of his nakedness, and that she would know that he would know that, and was therefore naked only for her benefit. Which, ironically, did not benefit her at all because she most definitely did not want him to be naked because she would never think of him in that way in a million years!"
- Kagome, Tease

And one more for good measure:

"Men are scum."
- Kagome, The Ad

I always remember this one, in fact I just re-read it a couple of days ago:

Excerpt from Tally Mark's Impending Doom, Rating M.

Why, it was entirely possible at this point that she had achieved the hitherto unknown level of maximum stress.

(Maximum pleasure! her mind shot back. What the [heck], brain?)

Dear God, she wrote in her head as they walked, pleading with the sky above them, Whatever it is I did to deserve this, I'm sorry. You can stop smiting me now. Please?

Please?

Kagome let out a quiet sigh, shaking her head. She got the feeling she was on her own. Maybe she'd racked up too much bad karma in a previous life or something.

Next time she saw Kikyou, she was going to give her such a kick.

or this one (still the same fic)

Dear Satan, she prayed as she plowed onward, giving up on heavenly aid, I've already gotten enough people after my soul, but I've got some textbooks I'm willing to trade... they seem pretty evil to me...

And everytime Kagome's brain shouts out,"Maximum pleasure!" I just died laughing.

This fic was pure genius! My stomach and jaws hurt for a week I laughed so hard!

I also love this quote from the first story in that series, "Utter Doom":

"It is no wonder that you appear so stressed, miko,” he said, taking out a folded piece of paper and flipping it open, “you are using it incorrectly.”

"There is another possibility that never occurred to Kagome," he continued at last. "That I am meant to do this. That this was supposed to happen all along." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "But regardless of whether or not I am meant to, I will. As I said before, this is a courtesy call. I am not here to ask permission. I am not here to lay blame, in the way that mortals do. I am merely here to apologize for what I am about to do," he said. His lips turned up in a slow, wry smile. "Though I am not sorry."

He paused. Then gazed evenly into the screen. "Understand that this isn't personal. I am not displeased with Creation as it is; on the contrary, it is simply that I am especially pleased with one creation in particular. But I am a fair man. If you do not approve of what is about to happen, I give you the chance now to strike me down. Though I warn you to not be surprised when I strike back. I will take your silence as approval."

The empty church was unresponsive.

Sesshoumaru smiled a dark smile. "Good. I'm glad you see things my way."

....
"My father's greatest achievement was to cheat death. For her, I shall defeat time." He brushed his lips against the jewel in a solemn kiss. "Only for you, Kagome."

This was the most epic short story I've ever read. It's titled, " Courtesy Call" by Tally Mark.
Every time I read this short story I get goose bumps. There is no containing the feels this story puts off. It's amazing!
Also it's rated M. So obey site rules!!

m.fanfiction.net/s/3997500/1/Courtesy-Call

I will never get that phrase out of my head. "This is a courtesy call."

When they reached the door to his room, she opened it, thanked him for a lovely evening and shut it in his face. He stood outside his bedroom, the one he had been living in for most of a thousand years, and counted backwards from fifty, in Russian.

Slowly opening the door, he saw that Kagome was sitting on the edge of the bed, a blush prevalent on her cheeks. "I didn't mean to shut you out of your own room. I forgot until I saw the bed."

He walked over and sat beside her. "I am not going to eat you. Yes, it made me mad, but I am over it."

"You were out there for a long time."

"My Russian is rusty."

One of my favorite scenes from Moving Forward by Twiknham

EDIT: This story is rated MA, no YIMs!

“Now’s not the time Sho, and besides you don’t know him.”

“My point exactly.” He scrutinized the smaller man and frowned. “Who are you to come take mother on a date? And without my permission no less,” he tsked. “That’s two strikes already. One more and you’re out.”

Gurinman grounded his teeth. “You’re…surprisingly chatty.”

“And you’re surprisingly old. Tell me, did they have telephones when you were born or is your memory still black and white?”

chapter 4
When it Rains



EDIT: This story is rated MA, no YIMs!