Blogging by inumaru_rapture

Part 1

July 6th

No one will ever read this blog, however, if I do not write this out, I feel I may explode. This has been going on for almost two months now, and our time is drawing to a close... I need to say this now, lest I forget the passions I feel right now. As stated prior, I have been on a trip to a moderately sized city in the middle of China. Here, I have met many foreigners like myself, and, as strange as it sounds, in a way, befriended quite a few. There are many that smoke, drink, and dance, as I have accompanied them on these excursions. I have been on many adventures, but no adventure could have ever prepared me for her. I shall start at the beginning of my infatuation... and the frustrations that I have encountered thus far.

I honestly did not even notice her at first, when this program began. I was more concerned about the city itself, and how to act accordingly, but she grabbed my attention faster than I thought any woman has ever done. It was her laugh; the light melodic bell than rang out over the voices at the first dinner that my eyes were drawn to her. She was not the prettiest girl out there, but not entirely plain either. She wasn't as skinny as the women I normally went for, however, she had a brightness to her eyes, and an intelligent air around her that had me lusting for more. I slowly made my way into her group, gaining her intoxicating attention to myself by making witty comments that she was always quick to either laugh or chide me upon. She caught so much of my self in those first few days, that I felt pangs of jealousy and anger when I found she was involved with another. How long? I had asked myself, and was pleasantly rewarded when the girl she was talking to asked the same question. I felt my heart plummet to my toes as she answered: 4 years.

I realized that I wanted to ruin their relationship, and that thought scared me slightly. Since when do I care for these trivial things? I forced myself away from her for two weeks, but on a trip to the mountains, I found myself falling for her once more. She made it up the mountain, a hard feat she claimed, sooner than most. She was not in the best of shape, but she climbed it instead of taking the cable car. I found myself wanting to wander the temples with her, to joke and jest with her as we had in the beginning, so I did, until I got caught up in a conversation with one of my roommates, and I noticed her slipping off with another boy and her friend. I felt my jealousy rise, and I wanted to scoop her away from them...to get lost in the temple with her. I wanted her, and that knowledge had my head spinning.

I found my lust for her growing as time passed, and I traveled with her across China by train to Xi'an, where I watched her eyes light up at the bits of history being reassembled in the pits in front of Emperor Qin's tomb. But I suppressed my lust for her, opting to act as her friend, which she accepted me easily. I found her large heart overwhelmingly wonderful, and her modesty a fun ploy to watch her blush. In the rain one night, she texted me, asking if I would accompany her to a square. I declined at first, then kicked myself as I found myself unable to sleep. I texted her back, telling her I couldn't sleep. I could hear her laughter in my head as she texted back and told me she was still up for the walk if I was. This time, I agreed, and I met her at the square. It had started to rain, and she was wearing a blue button up shirt over a white tank top. I wished for it to rain harder, as I wanted nothing more than to see her voluptuous breasts in the curves of her clothes. I wanted to run my hands down her body. I shook my head as she approached, a smile larger than life on her face.

We walked for miles, just talking in the rain. She kept mumbling that she was going to wipe out and hurt herself on the wet tile, as she was in flip flops. Once, as we descended the stairs, I allowed her to use my shoulder to stabilize herself, and I felt the heat permeate her hand as it pressed softly onto my shoulder. I wished for more, but at the bottom of the stair, she pulled away, looking around. I wondered if she noticed my desire for her. I doubted it. We walked until close to midnight, when her yawns had me packing her into a taxi. As I walked away, I received a text: "Let me know when you get back safe, okay?" I smiled to myself and walked back to my apartment. Just as I was stepping into my living room, I got another text that referenced to a song we were singing earlier in the night: "I'm listening to that song. Thanks for coming out with me." I wrote her back: "No problem. I'm back safe. Good night." I smiled as I slipped my shoes off as my phone went off again:

"Good night, Sesshoumaru," she wrote.

July 15th

The woman is infuriating! I can't stand to be near her, yet I want to fuck her until she can no longer walk! I can't stand it! She is insufferable, yet I can't imagine myself with anyone else.

I went to one of the many outings last night, a Toga Party at her apartment that she shares with 5 other members of this program. And there she was, in a bright orange and yellow sheet proclaiming Teddy Bears as the cutest thing ever. But all I could see was the golden tan of her skin and the creamy lines that showed her true skin color barely peaking from behind the sheet. I was wishing I had worn more than just my white sheet and boxers as I felt myself enjoying the sight a bit too much. I turned from her, unable to stand it, and downed two beers watching them play Beer Pong, a game I've never played before. She was reiling up her friend to play, when I stepped in to give it a shot. Turns out, if you get the ping pong ball into the cup of beer, they have to drink it. So, as I wanted to see how wild she could get when drunk, I sunk as many ping pong balls as i could into the beer filled cups. However, it turns out she is a fucking pro at it, and we ended up losing. Turns out, the game I had entered--the losing team had to strip down to their boxers, run down the stairs, out onto the street, and down the street. Needless to say, her face turned hot as the sheet fell off, and I was left in my silk boxers. The boy who was with me was totally shit-faced, he could barely stand, as we ran down the stairs, and out onto the street. So many Chinese people stopped and stared as we semi-streaked through the streets and returned to the apartment.

She was sitting on the couch when we returned, a half-empty bottle of beer in her hand. She was laughing with one of the other people, and appeared to have not watched us. I was angry, in a way, for her not seeing my body. I know I am attractive, but the thought of her not wanting to see me...it made me want to break something. I downed more beers. Soon, my head was swimming, and I was sitting next to her, talking about things I don't think I've ever talked about--mundane little things that had her laughing. I wanted nothing more to get her laughing. Her toga had slid down her arm, and my mouth watered as I ran my fingers against her silken skin to put it back into place. I noticed the burn of a blush, or maybe it was just the alcohol, skid across her cheeks as she looked at me from under her eyelashes. I leaned into her, I wanted to kiss her so badly it was painful. But just then, her friend came in, landed on both of our laps, and asked if we wanted to go dancing. She nodded enthusiastically, holding her hand to her chest over her heart. I wanted to kill the woman who ruined the most perfect moment, but then, I decided I wanted to see her move on the dance floor, but also, that I had only brought enough clothes for tomorrow, along with my swimming trunks to go to the pool as was planned in the early afternoon. I changed into my casual clothes, but was awestruck as she came out of her bedroom in a flowing black skirt and a purple silken tank that accented all the right curves. I wanted to take her against the wall, whether or not people were watching. She smiled at me, walked along beside me, as we left the apartment and went to find a taxi to go to a club with the dozen or so other people involved in the toga party.

She danced with me, grinding her sweet little ass against my crotch, and I knew she could feel my erection by the way she pressed herself against it. She had more drinks to the point where I don't think she was merely tipsy anymore, but she could still move. I clasped my hands around her waist and moved with her tight little body. We rubbed against each other, facing each other, her eyes staring up into mine suggestively. I felt a pulse go through me as she grabbed my hip and ground her hips into mine forcefully in tune with the song. I couldn't help it. I kissed her. I don't know why I couldn't contain it. But I kissed her long and hard, my hands pressing her hips to mine as I wouldn't allow her to escape from the passion coursing through my veins. Surprisingly, she returned my kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck and clinging to me. My knees almost collapsed as a soft moan left her lips as I released her to take in a breath. Her eyes were hazed over, lost in her drunkenness as she giggled. "You're a good kisser," she slurred. I went in to show her just how good of a kisser I was when she turned her head, wiggled from my grasp, and ran over to her friend who was holding a kitten. ...If I wasn't so incredibly horny, at my wits end from with-straining myself from taking her on the dance floor, I would have laughed at how cute she looked as the held the kitten. But right then, I wanted to kill it. It wasn't fair. Everything I wanted to do with her was cut off by something! I wanted to take her back to my apartment and show her in detail just what she did to me, but then, a thought occurred to me.

Maybe all of these interruptions were happening because we weren't meant to do anything. She had a boyfriend for almost 4 years back home. She was committed, and I had kissed her. I had caused her to do things with me that suggested how badly I wanted her.

I shook my head and stood beside her as she held the kitten, cooing drunkenly at it. I smiled lightly at her cuteness, and even scratched the kitten on the head. How could I act around her? How could I keep from indulging in my desires of her? I wanted to taste her skin so badly it hurt not to...but still I restrained. She will be the death of me.

I went back to her apartment with her when we all switched clubs. She had gotten tired, so she wanted to sleep. I rode back with her in the taxi, as she insisted she hold my hand. I wanted to smile as she grinned up at me when I closed my hand around her much smaller one. I helped her from the taxi, and into the elevator. However, when the door shut, she fell into me, raking her hands over my chest. I wanted to moan, wanted to give in, but I held her shoulders still and shook my head.

"You're drunk." I told her. She pouted at me.

"I know you want me, Sesshoumaru," she stated almost clearly. I couldn't tell if she was still drunk or not. "I could feel your penis pressing against me as we danced. I want you too..." she whispered, looking down, suddenly ashamed of herself. The elevator came to a stop, and we stepped out. I was fighting with myself not to kiss her again, not to make love to her. My head was swimming as she unlocked her door and pushed it open. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her against me, claiming her mouth once more. She made a sound that was half-way between a startled gasp and a pleasured moan as she returned my abuse on her mouth. Somehow, we made it into the apartment, past the living room, and into her room, shutting the door behind us. Our clothes ended up on the floor, and she was pressed onto the mattress under me as I kissed down her neck and fondled her breasts under her shirt. Oh, it was heaven. I felt the soft curves of her skin, felt the way her back arched into my hands as I kissed her. I sat up to remove my shirt, and toss it aside, only to turn back and find her asleep on her bed, her hair a mess from the night. My mouth fell open, then snapped shut. I pressed my aching member against her hip, as I laid down beside her, running my hands over her skin. I wanted to pound into her anyway, but that was called rape, and This Sesshoumaru is not a rapist. I shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep.

In the morning, I awoke to find her still in my arms, her butt pressed firmly against my morning erection. She wiggled in her sleep, so wonderfully I had to bite back a groan. I wanted to let her go, but I couldn't. She was holding onto my arm so possessively, I couldn't let her go. I kissed along her neck, enjoying the faint taste of her sweat that lingered. She shivered in her sleep and let me go. I stood up swiftly, and practically ran from her room into the bathroom. I don't know if anyone else was up or not, but I needed to solve some problems and fast. Never before and never again will I ever admit to pleasuring myself. But for her, I would rather disgrace myself this way than rape her against her will. Only for her.