For These Moments I Feel Faint by Lady Symoné

(PART ONE) Some People Seem Weak...

Ahahaha...okay. So I know I was supposed to be working on The Princess of Two Empires, but I was looking back through that, and I realized how much my writing style has changed since then! I have been starting at the beginning, and working my way forward, changing and correcting, before I can get to working more on the newest chapter. (Which I have started.)

I got the idea for this story a while ago, and it has been nagging me for a while. I am a fairly freelance person, and don't like to be tied down (which is why I don't keep promises very well). So I said to myself, 'what the heck? Why not start this one, just so I know where I'm going?' I ended up writing three chapters, and the story is now 7351 words long! I am SO HAPPY! YAY ME!!!

Since the next two chapters are done already, I will post the next chapter a little later today (got to edit it!). Depending on the reception of this story, I will post the third chapter sooner or later. *SHUGS* I'm not really sure at this point.

IMPORTANT: InuYasha will be mainly for comic relief, Sesshoumaru has his arm (but a twist later in the plot will involve that), and demons and humans are living together like everyone lives today. No distinction, really. No, this story has nothing to do with the song by Reliant K. I heard the title and liked it, only to remember it was a song. SORRY!

WARNING: This fanfic will contain themes that some readers may find disturbing. Things such as: Cutting, Suicide, Verbal & Physical Abuse, War (later on), Death, & Blood among others. I'll try not to make it too hardcore.

Past that, there is nothing else I can think of. Please enjoy my newest creation, For These Moments I Feel Faint.

Thank You,

Lady Syomoné

DISCLIMER: So what if I said they are? Huh? What cha gon' do 'bout it? Huh? (LAWYERS PULL OUT AUTOMATIC RIFLES) OKAY! THEY'RE NOT MINE, I SWEAR!

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PART ONE:

Chapter One: Some People Seem Weak...

Sesshoumaru Atsutomo pulled his saffron scarf farther up to cover his straight and dignified nose, as early winter's chill whipped around him, intent on freezing every piece of exposed flesh possible.

Although he wasn't particularly fond of the color saffron, the shade being in his eyes a decidedly feminine color, it was a cashmere scarf. CASHMERE! (A/N: for those unfortunate souls who don't know what cashmere is, it is a sinfully soft fabric usually in sweaters and tees and also incredibly expensive fine soft wool, originally made from a Kashmir goat's fur. Don't worry, they don't kill the goats!) Many had told him it brought out his unusual eye color and pale skin; who be he to carelessly toss something of value away, when it brought out his greatest assets? Plus he'd be damned if he could afford something quite like it. Oh, there was certainly a time where something such as a luxurious muffler would have effortlessly fit in his price range, but not of late.

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When he had first moved out of his father's home, determined to make a name for himself without the powerful backing of his surname, Sesshoumaru had gotten a job so that he might support his medical school tuition and fees. It had been incredibly difficult, requiring countless sacrifices on his part -- shopping at high-class boutiques included -- but he had managed to finally graduate, at the top of his class and with several honors.

Now he was the top intern working at the Kami no Onchou Hospital. Of course, working really meaning 'practically living.' Sesshoumaru worked at least twelve hours a day, practically nullifying any trace of a social life. He hadn't gone on a date, and worse, not gotten laid in over two and a half years! These days, his only true companion was his wine glass and two bottles of his dear Cabernet Sauvignon, and beloved Pinot Noir.

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Another gust of chilly wind snuck up on him, tossing his loose silvery locks about and lifting up the hem of his trench.

"Damn it all," Sesshoumaru cursed through clenched teeth.

He really couldn't fathom what on earth had possessed him to unwisely choose this particular route home. It was longer than his usual way and there was absolutely nothing more scenic about it than the other.

However, he knew there was nothing he could do about it now -- therefore no more reason to piss and moan about it -- so he merely turned up the collar of his coat and picked up his already hurried pace.

Sesshoumaru gave an involuntary shudder as he walked by an old abandoned playground. He was not in the least frightened by such little things, but even he confessed in his mind that the way the wind moaned through the trees, and the empty swing's chains clanked together, created quite the overall eerie effect. He suppressed a smirk when he imagined how his idiot of a half-brother would be wetting his pants and squealing like a girl by now.

The tall man stretched his long legs even farther, hoping to cut his journey's time in half.

Just as he took a step forward the wind picked up once more, making the noises increase in considerable volume. Sesshoumaru raised a skeptical eyebrow and slowly took one step back. The wind instantly died down. His other brow shot up.

Look at yourself! He snarled in his mind. You've stooped so low in rationality that you are actually considering the wind might be...telling you something?

"Perhaps mental instability runs in the family," Sesshoumaru murmured, picturing his brother and father. The breeze snatched away the words as soon as they left his mouth and flung them into the air.

Sesshoumaru glanced over at the slide structure. The slide had always been his favorite thing about parks, when he was young and foolish. That is, until he found out it was his half-brother's as well. He had begun early on: any thing InuYasha made obvious he favored, Sesshoumaru made a point to dislike. Perhaps it was a subtle way to project his immense dislike for his kin, or perhaps he was simply being immature. A low growl rumbled in Sesshoumaru's throat. The answer was obviously the former!

He paused in his internal musings when he thought he saw a flash of something metallic. But...surely he must have imagined it. Only a colossal fool would still be out this late, on a bone-chilling night like this, Sesshoumaru thought, conveniently forgetting he himself was outside. It was probably nothing, he reasoned. The man sighed and rubbed his temples. The moron known as his so-called brother must really be rubbing off on him. It wasn't like him to even spare a second thought about insignificant moments in his life such as this.

Then, the light flashed again. Sesshoumaru's honey-colored eyes narrowed. Definitely metallic, his mind confirmed, most likely silver.

He glanced over to where the glint had been, then down at his well-worn watch. It was eleven o' clock at night, for christ's sake! He should be in bed right now, seeing as he had the early shift at the hospital. He looked up again. Sesshoumaru lolled his head back and groaned. Damn him and his occasional, yet insatiable, curiosity! Damn them both into the furthest ring of hell!

He strode with grace and elegance, parallel to none except perhaps his father, towards the shadowy slide. The moon cast a paltry reflection through the dead semi-dense foliage of the surrounding trees. His eyes almost seemed to glow in the darkness, not unlike a fearsome predator.

Okay, Sesshoumaru mentally reasoned. I'll go see what this stupid flash is, find it's probably a lighter -- slaking my curiosity, skip dinner, and go straight to bed. He nodded. Sounds like a plan.

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Kagome Higurashi shivered as the wind suddenly blew past her bare shoulders. She brought her hands up to rub her arms, attempting to coax the blood back into said appendages. The dark-haired youth suddenly paused, mid-stroke. What's the point? A voice in her head whispered. In a few minutes, your arms being cold won't even matter.

The chill emanating from the metal slide beneath her thin form began to seep through her baggy cargo pants. Taking a fortifying breath through her cracked lips, Kagome dug her fingers into the mud-colored sack beside her. Feeling the smooth object she was after, Kagome carefully pulled it out. She felt her heart instantly begin to beat wildly behind her chest when she examined the object. It was a stainless steel razor blade.

Turning it over a few times in her frozen digits, it flashed menacingly in the moon's beams. Funny how such a simple thing meant so much to her. In some ways, it was her only friend. A friend that was about to take her life. She continued to twirl the blade around, hesitation suddenly overcoming her previous determination.

Kagome winced as the blade nicked the pad of her finger. She looked down to see a shallow cut slowly oozing blood. Her heart seemed to stop in that moment.

Her blood.

Would she really be willing to take this razor in her hand and, in a complete right state of mind, slice her wrists, watching the blood bubble up from the wound as her heart pumped her life's essence out? Would she really be able to do it? Would she really be able to...kill herself? To leave everything behind? Her family? Her younger brother?

Kagome's dry lips parted.

"I don't know," she whispered, almost pleadingly, to the surrounding darkness. "I don't know..."

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As Sesshoumaru neared the slide from the rear, he realized he had been completely wrong.

The light, crisp scent of citron tonic, golden kiwi, with a blend of starfruit and lily of the valley immediately assaulted his sensitive nose, nearly knocking him off his feet -- metaphorically speaking, of course. It had been years since he had last smelt a fragrance so...fresh! Thinking perhaps he had been mistaken, Sesshoumaru cocked his head to the side, and took a deep whiff in again. No, he thought. It is still there. What could possibly give off such a delightful aroma?

Stalking forward a few more steps, Sesshoumaru paused when he heard a soft feminine voice.

"I don't know," it whispered pitifully. "I don't know..."

Don't know what? Sesshoumaru wondered. Without realizing it, all thoughts of dinner, strange weather, sleep, and work vanished without a trace from his overly organized mind. All he was thinking about was finding out who exactly this mystery female was. He continued moving forward, cautious not to startle his sweet-smelling 'prey'.

Sesshoumaru was now an arm's length away from the hunched over figure on the slide. He saw the flash of silver again -- this time realizing it was a small blade of some sort. He could now scent the despondency and apprehension that heavily laced her original aroma. She was obviously afraid of something. Sesshoumaru also noted her state of dress. She was wearing extremely loose cargo pants paired with a thin and stained tank top. She has to be freezing, he thought.

Just as he took another step, a loud cracking noise broke the silence. Sesshoumaru looked down and spat every curse word known to man inside his head. He had stupidly stepped on an empty soda can! If I were in my right state of mind, this would have never happened! The man thought, running his hands through his hair, frustrated. This wench is more trouble than she should be, and I haven't even talked to her yet!

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Kagome had finally come to a conclusion. She couldn't live like this any more! Being frightened all the time; always checking behind doors and around corners before she entered a room! Always paralyzed with fear when her cell phone goes off! Afraid to say something, for fear that HE will disapprove! No. She didn't want this life. Her brother would be fine with their mother. She was truly sorry, but for the longest time, Kagome had felt invisible. So alone and forgotten...unloved. She was tired, and she just wanted the pain to stop.

She brought the razor blade to her wrist and gave a small smile as tears clouded her eyes sight. What will heaven be like? She wondered. Will Dad remember me?

Closing her eyes, Kagome brought the blade down upon her skin.

CRAAACK!

Gasping in shock and fear, Kagome dropped the razor and clutched her hand to her frantic heart. She swirled around only to find herself face to face with the most beautiful person she had ever seen-- man or woman.

He had one arm propped against a rusty metal bar of the slide, the other running through his hair. He had majestic mulberry-colored stripes on his cheeks -- two on each side -- and a royal blue crescent moon, much like the one in the sky tonight, placed on the center of his forehead. Thick, silky silver tresses grew from his scalp and swayed in the light gusts of wind, reflecting the meager light of the park. As if he could feel her eyes on his person, the man raised his face to greet hers. Kagome stared transfixed at the eyes the stared up at her. They were the purest gold she had ever seen! She noticed they were looking at her with guarded appraisal. His eyebrow arched when her mouth opened but nothing came out.

Kagome quickly shut it and quickly put her tough act on.

"What are you staring at?" Sesshoumaru fought the urge to say 'not much'.

"What are you doing out here?" He questioned. Kagome sniffed.

"Why do you care? Last time I checked, this was a public park. I can loiter here all I feel like." Sesshoumaru smirked at her façade. He could see right through it.

"It is cold. Surely you have a home? But..." Sesshoumaru pointedly perused her clothing, "...judging from your apparel, that might be questionable." Kagome was outraged at the man's blatant impoliteness. She eyed his expensive-looking trench and scarf. Cashmere, she mentally noticed.

"Well, not all of us have daddies and mommies who pay for everything on a little whim," Kagome sneered. "Besides I'm out here, because I don't want to go home." She rested her head against one of the cool bars, suddenly feeling very tired. "I'm sorry," she said, without a drop of actual remorse in her voice, "but I just have to say: do you have any idea how homosexual you look with that scarf? Honestly, how many real men where pink?"

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at the girl. How dare she tell him he looked gay? No one talked to him in that manner -- InuYasha excluded -- no matter how good they smelled! He absentmindedly ajusted the muffler around his long neck, before replying in his best haughty voice,

"And some of us have jobs to pay for the best quality, instead of hanging around parks late at night, like a common thug or whore." He waited with satisfaction for her explosion -- but it never came. Furrowing his brows, Sesshoumaru walked around the structure to better see the girl's face.

He was surprised to see her eyes were closed and her chest moving up and down with her light and even breaths. From this point he could see her facial features much better than before. Sesshoumaru was even more surprised to see she was quite a lovely little thing, despite her obvious humanity. She had beautiful hair -- long, thick, and an extraordinary shade of black, yet blue when the light hit it just so. She had the most amazing eyelashes, if eyelashes can be called such a thing. Her skin was pale, almost unhealthily so, and she had a petite and willowy figure. Not exotically curvy, but not super-model thin either. She looked about fifteen or sixteen years of age. Overall, her countenance was undeniably pleasing to the eyes.

Sesshoumaru shook his head. 'Undeniably pleasing to the eyes'? The wench had called his gay! He poked her on the leg, not unlike one pokes a slug on the ground.

"Girl," he said impatiently. She didn't stir. Narrowing his eyes once more, Sesshoumaru prodded her with more forceful insistently. Still, the girl did not move.

Feeling foolish for being so curious, Sesshoumaru climbed up the slide. He leaned in closer to her serene face. Her scent was so pleasingly overpowering, Sesshoumaru found his head slightly swimming. He placed a practiced medical hand to her cheek. He was shocked. She was freezing cold! How long had she been out here?

When he saw her nose and ears, he grabbed her limp hands and examined them. They were a sickeningly shade of blue. Foolish girl, Sesshoumaru growled in his mind. Now she's got frostbite, and it doesn't look like a mild case, either. She probably got tired because her internal temperature has gone down too much. Feeling around her hand, he paused when he felt something wet on his fingers. He brought them up to see better, as it was getting darker by the minute. A quick sniff, and a strong metallic scent later, confirmed his first idea. The girl's blood.

She was trying to cut herself, Sesshoumaru mused, turning her wrist over. It was only a small cut, probably caused when he startled her, previously. I didn't smell it before because her natural perfume suppressed my sense of smell. He watched her for a few moments more. Now what?

I suppose I go home and sleep, Sesshoumaru thought, fighting back a yawn. It had to be past twelve o' clock now. He began climbing back down the slide, when the wind violently swept past him, blowing his hair and clothes every which way. Sesshoumaru pursed his lips in annoyance. Yes. I am definitely going insane.

Sighing in submission, Sesshoumaru rubbed his poor throbbing temples before mounting the slide once more. He shook his head at the young girl. Way to much trouble. He gently picked up her light form in his arms, bridal-style.

Turning in the opposite direction in which he had been traveling formerly, the man made his way back to the hospital.

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LAST NOTES -

The perfume scent is actually my favorite perfume for women. It is called 'One Summer' by Calvin Klein. Sesshoumaru's scent will be my favorite men's smell, but that's two chapters from now.

I really hoped you liked my baby! I am SO EXCITED!!! WHEEEEEE!!!

NEXT CHAPTER: ...When, In Actuality, They're Strong