Broken by Aly

To Dream of Memories Broken

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters, hell, I don't even own my cat, she owns me, but that's a story for another day.

Welcome to Broken, I will warn you that this fic starts out fairly dark, but it should get better as we go along (that is, after all, the whole point to this story if you've read the summary). I hope you enjoy what you read, and, even if you don't I would love it if you could review. Let me know what you think, what should be done differently, what was done right. And, just so you know I'm just writing this off of the top of my head, so if there's any ideas you have or something you want to see happen let me know and if I can incorporate it into my story I will. Thanks for reading, enjoy!

A long finger trailed across the exposed length of milky-white throat. The sharp nail scraped lightly against the skin, leaving a faint pink tinge in its wake before the skin once again returned to it's moon-kissed glow of perfection. Breath caressed the small human ear, catching on a few stray black hairs and leaving them to frolic with the woman's cheek. The man pressed his lithe body against the woman's back, holding her in place with one arm while his other continued to run up and down her neck, across her delicate jaw and high cheek bones.

"Look. Look into the mirror and see what it is your precious hanyou does with the miko." The woman didn't look however, instead her head was bowed, black hair falling downward to create a veil around her face even as his finger moved it so that he could caress her soft flesh.

"Look at how he turns to her even though she smells of me, even though she is essentially my creation. He doesn't care that I killed her already, that she died in his arms and that she is now suddenly back among the living. All that matters to him is that she looks like Kikyo, that she has the memories of Kikyo, that she claims love for him. He has forsaken you and your comrades for one of my own.

"Look how he possesses her body and doesn't even spare a thought for you, he has forgotten you, your precious hanyou love has turned his back on you. He won't come to save you this time, and the rest of your companions especially can't save you, they are, after all, spending some quality time in my dungeons. Nobody will come for you, nobody cares, your friends don't even recognize you anymore, although, the kitsune does cry out your name in his sleep or when he is in pain."

The woman tensed and her hands clenched, but still she refused to look at the mirror the child in white with the empty eyes held up for their viewing. The man tightened his hold on the woman and the hand that had been stroking her pale flesh yanked back on her raven coloured hair, forcing her head up, but her eyes were closed, defying his order. The man hissed dangerously before he suddenly released the hold on her hair and chuckled maliciously.

"Very well my dear, have it your way, but know that your insolence will be held against your comrades, they will receive ten lashes each I think, or perhaps I will kill the kitsune to teach you a lesson." The woman's eyes suddenly snapped open, her blue orbs flashing.

"No! Leave them alone Naraku." The hanyou behind her laughed darkly, his velvety voice slithering throughout the room.

"Ah, I see you have come to your senses Kagome, how unsurprising. Now, watch as your hanyou betrays and forgets you. Watch him rut with my creation that is Kikyo." Kagome turned pained blue eyes to the little mirror and watched Inuyasha, her first and only love, take Kikyo with a favoured passion. A passion that she had often dreamt of him turning on her, but no longer, now her dreams were haunted by the hanyou behind her, the one pressing his vile body against her own, with only clothing to separate them.

"Ah, the look in your eyes is quite worth the wait my little miko. How your heart must break to know your love doesn't care for you at all. But don't worry, soon you won't think of him at all, soon the only one you'll think about it me. I'm going to take over the world, I'm going to be the most powerful, and you, my beautiful little miko, you shall be by my side." Kagome scoffed and turned her head away from the scene being played out in the mirror, not wanting to watch anymore, her heart not being able to take it.

"I think not Naraku. You will be stopped, if not by me then someone else will kill you one day, I only wish I could live long enough to see it." Naraku smirked and nipped at her neck, causing her to go rigid in his arms.

"Oh no my little miko, you see, once I have conquered this world and ensured my survival I shall take you for my mate, and then you will forever be by my side." Kagome frowned, not understanding his words that she couldn't block out no matter what she did. Naraku chuckled again and glided his tongue up the side of her neck, stopping only when he reached her ear to nibble on her ear lobe. Kagome bit her lip and closed her eyes, a single tear escaping form the confines of her eyelashes.

"I see that you don't know, how foolish, I'm surprised Inuyasha never told you of mating, even one so mindless as he would know of it, I doubt very much that his brother Sesshomaru would allow him to go uneducated, half-breed though he may be. You see my dear Kagome, when a youkai or even a hanyou mates with another a bond is formed. That bond is much stronger than most know, which is why so few actually choose to take mates.

"Do you know why, my little miko? It is because when two beings mate the stronger of the two beings must share their fate, their power, their very life with the weaker." Kagome frowned, still not understanding but curious despite herself. Naraku saw her face and smirked against her warm skin.

"Don't you understand my little miko? Very well, allow me to explain the process further. Mating means that the higher powered one of the two must share their life force with the weaker, it allows them both to live for the same amount of time, but it also shortens the life span of the stronger youkai. But that is not all my little miko, no, not at all. You see, their life forces are also connected, meaning that if one of them dies, so too does the other, and, depending on the strength of the bond, some mates can even feel if their mate is in great pain.

"It makes mating very dangerous you see, why, if someone where to come along and kill the weaker mate, the stronger would also die." Kagome's eyes gleamed for a moment, as thought coursed through her head. Yes, if she could hold out long enough then she could kill him, after all, if what he said about mates was true then when he mated her, if she killed herself he too would die. Naraku saw the gleam and continued on, his eyes glinting predatorily as if knowing what she was thinking.

"But then comes the failsafe you see, after all, if the stronger mate has to give up so much for the other they would want some protection for the weaker mate. Their power, their youki, protects the weaker mate to some extent. You see, a small portion of the stronger mate's youki is siphoned off and added to the weaker mate's aura, it stays there, it protects the weaker mate against attacks, against any harm. It will even protect them against themselves. Their bit of youki protects the mate long enough for the stronger of the two to get there and kill off the threat.

"However, if the threat is stronger than the higher ranking mate's then the attacker can easily break through the protection and kill the weaker mate. Which is why, coupled with the idea that their life span is shortened, most youkai choose not to mate. But once I have rid the world of anyone stronger than I and use the jewel to become immortal I shall make you my mate and I shall rule with you by my side little miko." Naraku suddenly spun Kagome around and crushed his greedy lips against hers, his hands holding her in place and rendering her vicious struggles useless.

Tears coursed down Kagome's cheeks as the onslaught continued. She stopped fighting, closing her eyes and willing herself to become numb, knowing from previous experience that if she didn't cooperate her friends, Miroku, Sango, Kirara and most importantly, Shippou would bear the repercussions. So instead she cried. Kagome cried for herself, a prisoner of Naraku forevermore, she cried for her lost love, and most of all she cried for her friends who were so broken that is would be kinder to kill them and yet she couldn't bring herself to let them go.

Kagome shot awake, straight up in bed, her whole frame shaking from tension and sweat pouring off her small body. She closed her eyes tightly against the glare of her alarm clock which told her it was far too early to be awake. She laughed bitterly and ran a shaking hand through her sweat soaked hair, wincing as her fingers caught on several knots, yet welcoming the physical pain that distracted her, even for a moment, from her mental torment.

Kagome kicked weakly at her sheets, they were tangled around her legs, stopping most movement. She suddenly felt claustrophobic and she tore her way out of them, feeling panicky and unstable, likely to cry at any moment. She was finally free from her bedding, breathing heavily and trying to shake the trapped feeling while standing wearily at the side of her bed.

She stared at her shaking hands for a moment before closing her eyes and breathing in deeply, attempting to calm down. Once her breathing was back to normal and the shaking of her limbs had mostly subsided, Kagome made her was over to the small bathroom adjoined to her cramped bedroom. Once inside she flicked on the light, wincing and blinking rapidly at the sudden harshness of the light. Once her eyes had adjusted and she was no longer seeing spots Kagome quickly opened the medicine cabinet and took out an orange tinted bottle with a white cap.

Kagome didn't even bother to glance at her reflection as she closed the cabinet. She knew what she would see. She would see a face that looked more wraith like than human, she would see lank, unkempt black hair that framed a too-pale face, sunken hazy blue eyes swallowed by dark circles, she would see a gaunt frame, bones jutting out painfully from paper-thin skin. She would see bruises marring her once healthy-looking skin because she was too thin, because every time she moved her frail body could hardy take it, because she was so unhealthy that even a pinch or a light bump into something would leave a wicked looking bruise on her sallow skin.

So instead Kagome opted to set her gaze solely on the bottle that refused to open for her, refused to grant her wish for a respite from the world. Sleeping pills. She was supposed to be taking anti-depressants as well but she hadn't been taking them for about a week, she just didn't think that they were helping, if anything she felt worse when she took them. But the sleeping pills, those she needed because, even with them, it was rare for her to get a full nights sleep. Kagome finally forced the bottle open and took out one of the Estazolam pills out, popping it into her mouth and washing it down with water from the tap.

Kagome turned her head away from the mirror, not wanting to see her emaciated figure reflected back at her. She quickly reached for the light switch and flicked it off, plunging her surroundings into darkness. She carefully made her way out of the bathroom and over to her bed, ripping off the still tangled sheets and laying down on the bare mattress.

She quickly sat up again once she realized that her small silk nightgown was still sweat soaked and clinging uncomfortably to her body. So, amidst her darkened room Kagome ripped the small clothing item off and fell back onto her bed, allowing the cool air of her bedroom to rake over her naked body, too uncaring and tired to get up and change or find a blanket in her small apartment.

But, even after taking the sleeping pill, sleep eluded her, she knew that the Estazolam probably wouldn't kick in for a good half-hour but she had still hoped for sleep to take her quickly. Instead she was alone with the thoughts surrounding her dream that was more of a memory than a dream. She remembered, she remembered everything of that time. She recalled how Naraku's spawn had kidnapped her and her friends, leaving only Inuyasha. She remembered how Naraku had tortured her friends and decided to keep her by his side.

Kagome shut her eyes tightly as though to ward off the memory of Naraku killing Shippou brutally in front of her because she had refused to have sex with him, because she had fought back. She could still remember the feelings of pain and hatred coursing through her, the burning path her miko powers left in their wake as they circulated through her body. She could still feel the bursting feeling as her powers consumed Naraku, as she purified him, something she's never been able to do before. But her grief over Shippou had granted her more power, granted her the ability to avenge the kitsune's death.

Kagome had released Sango and Miroku, having Kirara take them someplace safe, knowing that they would need time if they were to ever heal from Naraku's brutalities. And then she had gone home, she had gone home and sealed the well, shooting an arrow down the well, the completed Shikon no Tama attached to it. Her theory had been that the jewel would then be forever trapped in a time stasis, never to be found again. She could only hope that her theory was true.

Kagome had then thought her dealings with the past over, never to face the past again, but she had been wrong. Her reminder of the past had come two weeks later in the form of Sesshomaru. Inuyasha had sought Sesshomaru out before he died, begging his older brother to give Kagome a bound book when the time came. Sesshomaru had acquiesced his brother's last wish, and he had then given Kagome what could only be described as Inuyasha's diary or journal after she had left Feudal Japan for good.

At that point in time Kagome had felt like she was drowning, she couldn't get away from her memories and, in that instant she latched onto Sesshomaru like her only life-line. Five hundred years had apparently changed the ever so stoic Taiyoukai known as Sesshomaru, the Killing Perfection, because he had allowed her to cling to him. He had even taken her home with him, assuring her family that he could care for her, that she would do better if she lived with him.

He had been right, but when had Sesshomaru ever been wrong? Kagome had slowly gotten better, her memories ceased to plague her when she was around Sesshomaru, when she was around him she was safe, she was sane. Kagome couldn't remember why or how, but after a few months of living with Sesshomaru their relationship had suddenly moved into a physical one.

Kagome threw an arm over her head and gave a bitter laugh. Yes, they had had great sex, but Sesshomaru had made it clear that the relationship was purely physical, that he felt nothing for her. Kagome had told him that that was fine, that she felt the same. It was a terrible way to discover that she wasn't like some women, that she didn't have the ability to just have sex with a man and not form any feelings for him.

Probably almost a year after moving in with him Kagome realized that she was in love with Sesshomaru, she realized that she was in love with a man that held no feelings for her, a man that just used her body to relieve himself of sexual tension. Kagome had decided that she couldn't tell him, she knew he would completely block her out if he knew, so instead she had pulled back a little in an attempt to shield her heart from more pain.

But apparently she had pulled back more than she had thought because she had come home one night to find Sesshomaru having sex with some unknown woman in the kitchen. No amount of attempted shielding of her heart could stop it from breaking and crumbling into broken pieces. Words had been spoken, things said, and that very night Kagome had moved out, not looking back for fear of turning into a crying mess and rushing back only to be told once again that he didn't return her feelings, that he felt nothing for her.

So now Kagome found herself two months later, at the age of eighteen, living in a seedy little apartment, barely scrapping in enough money to pay for rent, food and her pills. She found herself having to choke back sleeping pills like candy to sleep because nightmares from her past that had receded when she was with Sesshomaru had come back full force. She found herself the not-so-proud owner of a bottle of anti-depressants because her past had finally caught up with her, and that, coupled with her now fully shattered heart had been more than enough for her to seek aid.

Kagome found herself looking like a corpse because she couldn't bring herself to eat anything, because her memories, her nightmares, they had left her with absolutely no appetite and she felt sick just thinking of food. But that wasn't all, no, Kagome knew there was more. She hadn't been sure at first, but she knew, it was impossible not to.

At first she had just thought she was late, but it was too hard to chalk two missing menstrual cycles up to chance, especially since she also had a small bulge in her lower abdomen that shouldn't have been there considering the emancipated state that the rest of her body was in. No, it was impossible not to know that she was pregnant even though she hadn't been to a doctor.

Yes, at eighteen and already beyond broken, Kagome was two months pregnant with Sesshomaru's child. Sesshomaru, the youkai who cared nothing for her and had broken her heart. She was pregnant, and she didn't know what to do. But the worst part was that she couldn't bring herself to care.

Thank-you for reading, let me know what you think! Oh, and, if you want to get an e-mail updating you on when I post another chapter for Broken then just e-mail me at inblackflame@yahoo.ca with the subject title of 'Wanted: Broken Updates' or something to that effect. Well, I hope you liked the first chapter, have a nice day!

*waves* Heh, hi all. Sorry about the whole thing being italicized, I fixed it so it should only be the memory part now. I also went through and fixed a couple grammar things, hopefully I didn't miss anything. Thanks for reading.