Life Desires by Kissmekillmedangerously

I have lost...

Sometimes I think that life couldn't get worse; but once again I was wrong as always.

My mother used to always tell me life brings us what it thinks we can handle.

Life must have thought I could handle my fortunate bad luck.

My bad luck has saved me many times, though at times I feel like it hasn't.

I look back at all those times when I thought that life was miserable.

Now I know that life is giving me what I can handle.

I now know the warning signs.

My story begins here; it begins in my child hood where my bad luck starts.

"Daddy! Daddy! I want to go with you to pick up Mommy!" I cried out, running to my father who was what the cliché Americans would say tall, dark, and handsome.

I think, if I remember correctly, he stood at 6'0, very tall for a Japanese man.

He had the standard black wavy hair, but he always had it cropped short.

His eyes were the unusual thing about him.

They were a beautiful ice blue color.

I inherited his eyes and his lips.

His lips were always a pretty pink and very full.

My mother would always tell me he got kissed by an Angel and had an allergic reaction.

"No, honey I can't fit you and your mother plus the new baby all into my car, wait here with Grandpa okay?" he asked me grabbing me up from the ground swinging me around.

I pouted, sticking out my lower lip and giving him the puppy dog look.

"How can I resist that face? I'll buy some ice cream on the way home and bring it back just for you," he said smiling as he got into the tiny blue car.

That was the last smile I ever saw from him, the last wave I ever got.

He never came home with mommy or my baby brother.

I never even got to say goodbye to my mom or hello and goodbye to my precious baby brother.

"Mr. Higurashi, I'm Sergeant Tokimoto. Your son and daughter-in-law had an accident and I am afraid that they couldn't be saved," the stoic looking man said with a frown.

I looked up at him from behind my grandfather.

I knew what he had said and what it meant.

"What about my little brother?" I asked still peeking around the dusty white robes of my grandfather.

"I'm sorry little one but he did not make it either," he said with dark brown eyes full of sadness.

It was sadness on my part, I knew that.

Who wouldn't be sad for me?

I just lost three of the most important people in my life.

I knew then my bad luck would not be sated.

That day I was forced to grow up from being six.

I felt at least two hundred years older than I was.

My grandfather pushed me back into the house while he talked to the police man.

I felt shut out.

I felt like he was trying to shelter me when I knew what death meant.

It meant that they weren't ever coming back to kiss me and tuck me in.

It meant that my mother would never sing to me again.

It meant my father would never take me out for ice cream and tell me stories about ancients.

It also meant I would never get to see the beautiful face of my little brother.

Never have I felt so alone.

My grandfather came back in with tear tracks running down his withered and wrinkled cheeks.

He just lost his son and his daughter and the tiny little grandson, but he still had me.

I'll never know how bad he felt, not until it was too late.

"Grandpa, everything will be okay. I'll tuck you in at night and sing you lullabies," I said trying to smile the best I could.

Grandpa looked at me, looked right through me.

I knew then he wasn't hearing what I was saying.

For the rest of his life he zoned out whatever it was I said.

He zoned out whatever anyone said.

That night I had a nightmare.

My parents and my little brother in that car accident, I saw them die.

I saw them get crushed by the semi.

I knew that little blue car was no shield.

I woke up screaming and found out there was nobody to save me.

I got up from my tiny bed, covered in sweat.

I ran to their bedroom, it smelled like my mother's lavender perfume and my dad's sandalwood aftershave.

I climbed into their big bed and cried.

I cried so hard my head hurt and I had hiccoughs.

I don't remember falling asleep but when I woke up I saw the sun rise.

I'll always remember that sun rise through the lace curtains hanging on the window.

It reminded me that not everything was bad.

I'll always remember what my mother told me.

"Life gives out what fate it thinks you can handle," she said always with a smile.

I went to school that day.

I got up by myself and fixed my own breakfast and some for Grandfather.

I dressed myself and did everything I was supposed to.

I grabbed my Sailor Moon backpack and headed towards my school.

When I got there people looked at me as if I were an alien.

The only person who even touched me was my best friend Sango.

She knew what it was like losing someone dear to you.

Her little brother had leukemia.

He died at the age of four.

I hugged her back and smiled as best as I could.

"Everything will be okay Kags," she whispered into my ear.

My eyes became teary as I looked into her doe like eyes.

She gave me a bright smile and held onto my hand as she led me to our table.

From that day on my life went on as if nothing happened.

I always felt that emptiness in life though, the part where I should have my family.

My friends became my family.

We took care of each other.

Life was alright until years later...

Kags: How sad...

Sango: Yeah you're gonna make me cry Allie

Allie: Made myself cry

Inuyasha: Sissys

Kags: ...SIT!...

Inuyasha thumps to the ground

Allie: Haha biotch! Don't you agree Sesshoumaru?

Sesshoumaru: Indeed...