Cut Me Deep by Murder~Beautifully

Starting From The Blood

Alright. So, yes this is my knew story. Because of certain events going on in my life, I decided to make this. I warn people now. This story contains cutting of the body. If you do not like this, please do not read this story. You have been warned. Right now I shall just put this short chapter in to see if people are okay with it. I really don't want to offend people with this so lets test it out shall we? Please be nice. I do try to make this as presentible as possible. So cut me some slack. I hope you enjoy.

*I*T**B*E*G*I*N*S*

A woman sat silently as she stared out the window of the large treatment building. The name of it was unimportant. It's not like she cared about what happened to her anymore. Why should she? The woman was thin and pale, dark circles under her eyes showing her restlessness during the night stays. She wore a pure white gown, matching socks upon her feet, and a small white little plastic wrist band around her left arm. Tiny black printed letters telling her name, condition, doctor and the date issued. If one looked closer on the arm, long horizontal lines littered it. Upon her palm the word 'HELL' was carved in deep. The woman was a cutter. A battered and torn soul. What seemed to be a hopeless cause. The woman was 17 year old Kagome Higurashi. She had been there for a year now. Ever since that fateful day...she had changed. In the matter of hours, she had transformed from being a happy go lucky caring girl...to nothing but a cold shell.

Kagome listened as the door to her room opened. She didn't turn, she didn't have to. She knew who was there. She came at the same time everyday.

"Hello Kagome, nice day isn't it?" Kate, the B level nurse, said with a pleasant smile as she closed the door behind her.

Kagome didn't answer, her eyes didn't even move from the spot she had been staring at. She never answered. Only listened. Not all the time of course, after a while the same mumbo jumbo gets old. "You shouldn't blame yourself. Don't punish your body for a mistake someone else made. We know how you are feeling. Let us help you."

The fact of the matter was they didn't know a thing. They didn't know pain she had endured, the fear she had and still felt. She woke up every night screaming and crying, raking her nails against her skin, trying to get the blood to emerge. It had gotten so bad they first clipped her nails to nothing and restrained her hands as she slept. It didn't help. It didn't help at all. She hated being held down, she screamed and screamed until she felt her throat would bleed, wanting for them to get them off. She didn't want to be held down. But no one would dare listen. She used to cry herself to sleep, counting how many tears until her eye lids felt heavy. Looking at the multi colored stripes on her wall waiting for her restless mind to fall heavy.

Red. Green. Blue. Yellow. Red. Green. Blue. Yellow. Red. Green. Blue. Yellow.

That had always seemed to rest her. Keeping her mind occupied with something, anything. Not wanting the memories to come back. Not wanting to feel the haunting pain.

"Your mother dropped off some very pretty flowers today Kagome, would you like to smell them?"

Mother. Such a distant word that racked her brain for the meaning. Who was mother? Oh yes, that was right, mother. The one that had been with her from the beginning. The calming voice that had silenced her fears from bad dreams at night. The warm hand that would stroke her head when she lie sick in bed. The one she could always have counted on. Mother. Family.

Mama had stopped coming four months ago. At first she had come every day, apologizing to her about putting her into this...this...nightmare. Telling her it was for her own safety. But, Kagome had never replied or even looked at her. She just stared off in her own world. She knew it upset mama, but she could never bring herself to look into her eyes. The last time she had...she saw nothing but sorrow, sadness, despair. And it was all because of her. Finally, Sota had come a few days after mama didn't show for her usual daily visits. She remembered her brothers stinging words. She knew he had just been hurt...but it hurt her too.

Four months earlier.

Kagome sat in her wheel chair, staring at the TV as the show, The Price Is Right, flashed on. She had always loved The Price Is Right. Loving to guess the prices of the things they had. She was always good at math and figuring values. It gave her a joy to see she was so close on the pretty things they had to offer on the show. And the host Bob, she loved Bob. Such and easy going guy, he always seemed like he had no care in this world, that his only worry was how much the next contestant would bid.

"Kagome?"

Kagome stopped and turned her head slightly to the doorway. There stood her little brother, Sota. He was getting bigger, she had wondered if he had a girlfriend yet. Last she heard one of the girls at his school had been crushing on him. She had thought that was sweet. Young love.

She didn't answer, but Sota knew she didn't have to. He had been the only one she would even show she was paying attention to. But still she never spoke. Only stared. Her emotionless mask placed upon her normally pretty face, but now it just looked pale and tired.

"Mom...Mom's not doing so well sis." he said sitting on the bed, looking down at the ground, refusing to look into her eyes. "She's...she's depressed now...over you. She's worried you know." he stated, she could tell he was trying not to cry. "I...We..." he sighed in frustration and furiously started to wipe at his eyes. "Why can't you be normal again!" he suddenly yelled, startling her abit, making her blue eyes widen abit as he turned his hurt ones to her. "I know what happened hurt you, but...don't take it out on us! Why can't you let someone help you? Don't you trust us anymore Kagome?! We didn't do this to you, so stop acting like it! Mom told me to tell you she can't come here anymore! She can't stand to watch you ignore her! You're hurting her Kagome! And with her new heart problem now, its doing nothing good!" he stood up off the bed harshly. The bed knocking slightly into the nightstand, making the glass vase with wilted Roses in it, tip and fall with a loud crash.

"I hate you." he whispered then stared right into her eyes. His hand clenching into tight fists as he shook with rage. "I hate you so much. You've ruined everything!" And he was gone. Turning with his hate, and dashing out the door. Leaving a still silent Kagome.

Kagome lowered her eyes and looked at the glass on the floor. Cold silent tears falling down her cheeks as she slowly bent over picking up a large piece of glass, hiding it slowly under her sleeve as the nurse came in with a shaky smile. "Are you okay Kagome?" she asked, Kagome knew the nurse had heard every word. But she didn't need her pity. She didn't need anyone. Clutching the glass shard in her hand she turned her head and stared out the window. Counting the different color of cars.

'Blue. Black. White. Blue. Blue. Green. Red. Silver. Red. Red. Silver.'

She hadn't seen either one of them since. Sure, Mama dropped off flowers now and then, but never came in. And why should she? To watch her daughter stare out the window silently? She understood. What mother would want to even have a daughter like that? Her friends hadn;t even stopped by once. She knew they had to know where she was. Were they too ashamed of her?

Kagome turned her head as the nurse finished changing her bed sheets and took the dirty laundry out, shutting the door behind her. When she was sure the woman was gone, she got up and moved to a picture frame hanging on the wall. The picture was of a large lake with a setting sun in the distance. The different yellows and oranges tinted with red seeming to glow in the background of the picture. It was a beautiful picture. Kagome had found herself staring at it from time to time, pretending she was rowing a boat along the water as she rowed toward the sun.

Kagome slid her fingers behind the large picture. Her fingers coming in contact with the cool material that she had been searching for. She pulled the glass out from behind it and stood looking at the picture as she lowered the sharp end to her palm. Her eye twitched abit as she applied the pressure and let out a small gasp as she felt the tip cut through.

Her blue orbs stared into the picture as she kept going, dragging the material across her hand slowly. She was rowing, rowing along the water again. Nothing but the drops of water.

Drip, Drip, Drip.

Kagome looked down at the bright red liquid that dripped to the floor. She looked back up at the picture and closed her eyes, letting a single tear squeeze there her eye lids. The despair leaking through her body as the blood did her skin. She suddenly felt very tired. Her heavy eyes opening and looking helplessly at the picture. Her body became light, and suddenly nothing mattered. The pain numbing away as with everything else. Just like she wanted it to. Her head started to spin, and she could feel her body falling. Slowly. So gently she felt nothing. She didn't feel as she hit the floor. She didn't open her eyes. She was in her peace. And it was how she wanted it to stay.

#############

Sesshomaru Taisho, walked down the white hall, his eyes emotionless as he passed a group of people. Mostly doctors, he hadn't seen very many patients out of there rooms. "Most likely because there loathly humans who can't get a grip on reality." he thought disgustedly. He didn't understand humans. They got depressed or self cautious and they didn't eat, they threw up purposely or hurt themselves. What was that supposed to prove? Demons, if faced with a challenge or a problem of there own, they dealt with it. He rather wondered why he was here. He had no desire what so ever to help anyone here. He would rather be doing anything else then help them.

But as promised to his father, he was to prove he could be a true success in his father's corporation, he had to learn to except all breeds. Yes, this meant humans. But of all jobs, why this one? He shook his head. Didn't matter anyway, the faster he got done with this place, the faster he could move on with his life. Sesshomaru Taisho never turned down a challenge. Especially not one from his father. Hell would freeze over twice before he backed down.

Approaching the desk on Level B, he looked at the short pleasant looking nurse that was working the afternoon shift. "I am Sesshomaru Taisho. I am to volunteer here for a few weeks." he said in his usual deep mono tone voice. His inner beast smirked inwardly as the human female took in his form, uncertainty clear in her eyes.

"Ah yes, Mr. Taisho, we were expecting you," the woman replied. "my name is Kate Minnings. I will be the one who shows you the ropes."

He watched her smile and gave a curt nod. There was no point in being rude, although the human species may be beneath his race, he would not degrade his honor in being an ass so early in the game. He watched her move from around the desk and walk toward a door to the left. Upon the door a large sign read. 'Lounge'

"If you would follow me, I'll show you were your uniform is and show you the charts and medications for each patient." she said cheerfully as she stood near the door and waited with a smile. Sesshomaru watched her for a moment before he walked through the door into the small lounge. Inside the room was an old brown couch propped up in the near by corner, a TV on a large stand. Upon the other side was a kitchen like area with a fridge and stove. Beside the cabinets near the stove was another door. Following Kate through, he looked to see a slightly smaller room. The right wall littered with hooks that held plastic bags with fresh clothes in each one. Clip boards in a box to the right. The left side was a line of cabinets filled with different sorts of medicines.

"When your shift starts just come in here and get dressed, find your name tag over here and get your clothes. We already have your size fitted for you. After that, pick up a chart and grab the cart over here, the chart will have different tasks, say for this one..." Kate said as she walked over and plucked a single chart out of the box. "This one is the medication list for certain rooms. Under it, it gives what rooms would need bed changing and cleaning supplies. So you would first come over here." she said motion to the cabinets with sorted medicines. "And take the plastic cups with the patients names printed on them and fill them with the right medicines. Make sure you double check your work. Wouldn't want to give them the wrong kind of dose. But I wouldn't worry about that. I'll check and make sure you have the meds right. I have memorized all the patients' doses already." she turned and walked over to a large wheel able laundry bin. "After the meds, the chart says cleaning instructions, so you would co--"

"I think I get it." Sesshomaru cut in with his bored tone. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out a chart.

Kate blushed abit and smiled. "Sorry, alright but if you have any questions, I'll be at my desk okay?" she said before walking out quickly.

Sesshomaru watched as she left, standing there for a few beats just listening to the silence. Well if he wanted to survive the day with his sanity, he might as well get to work. He snickered at the thoughts of all of it. Moving and pulling off his clothing, he folded it neatly, setting it down on the desk inside the room. Moving to the plastic bag with his name on it, he pulled out his clothing. He was glad they had taken his measurements. He highly doubted they would have had clothing for a six foot four demon. Then again he could be wrong.

The wardrobe consisted of a white polo shirt, with the centers name printed on the right breast part. And black pants. Flashy indeed, he felt like a demonic Tiger Woods without his clubs. Shaking his head slightly he ran a hand through his soft silver strands. It was gonna be a long day.

Slipping his shoes back on, Sesshomaru moved out of the lounge with the rolling cart in his possession. The chart in his hand. It was a good thing he left his dignity at home, because this was doing nothing for his pride.

After Kate came over to check the medicines, he stared at the white sheet of paper on the clip board. First pills to deliver were to room 104. Higurashi, Kagome. Looking down at the little cups, he plucked the one with Kagome's name on it up and walked toward the door with the numbers reading 104 on it. He twisted the silver handle and slowly pushed open the door. He stepped into the room looking around.

At first he didn't see anyone. The head board of the bed was against the left wall. A window straight ahead the TV was on the right wall, hanging from a metal poll hinge. A beautiful picture that hung to the left of the window caught his eye for a moment. It was then he saw the foot on the ground, the rest of the body hidden behind the bed. Slowly putting the medicine on the little table by the door, he moved walking around the bed. His honey colored eyes widening slightly at the sight before him.

A young woman laid sprawled on the ground, her petite form a crumpled mass of paleness. The redness upon the ground caught his eyes immediately. A small pool of blood formed on the ground near her hand. He now saw the large cut down to her hand that trailed slightly up her wrist. The object near the blood telling him exactly what she had cut herself with. He moved quickly, grabbing one of the towels that had been set upon the sink in the room, and moved kneeling down next to Kagome. He grabbed her hand so he could press to towel to her cut, needing to stop the bleeding, but before he could even do so, she awoke. Her blue eyes darting up and meeting his and she started to scream. Kagome sat up trying to back away from the large dog demon, only to slip from her own blood. Tears falling from her eyes instantly.

Sesshomaru didn't understand the fear that radiated off her like the foul smell of bile. It was so strong it almost made him sick. Why was she so afraid? Not wanting her to hurt herself more, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward, gently as possible. It wasn't hard to hold onto her frail form, but when he made contact, her screams became more frantic. She struggled like hell to get away. Doing the only thing he could think of, he pulled the screaming girl to him. Holding her tightly, but not enough to hurt her. "Shh." he commanded holding her as she continued to scream and sob. "Silence girl, This Sesshomaru is not here to hurt you." he said calmly. He was surprised to feel her start to settle her screams turning into nothing but sobs as she went slack in his arms.

"Please let me go. Please."

Sesshomaru frowned as the girl begged. Burying her head in his chest. Clutching at his shirt tightly, making feeble attempts now and then to pull away, but found Sesshomaru's grip was not loosening.

When Kate entered the room minutes later, she looked to see the silver haired demon holding Kagome. Her eyes widening. She was about to scream to let go, but her eyes fell upon the young girl. Her screams had stopped and reduced into loud sobs. She looked down at the puddle of blood and put her hand to her mouth. Not again.

"Sesshomaru..." she uttered, watching as he turned looking at her. Shaking his head as he held the girl. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that maybe he could do some good here. He then snickered at the mere thought. It was part of the job. As long as he continued to pretend to care, the days would go by faster. But as he looked down at the hurt girl in his arms, he could feel the change not only his mind, but in his heart.

*E*N*D**OF**C*H*A*P*T*E*R*

Well what do you think? Please rate and review, I would really appreciate it if you could let me know how I'm doing. Thank you guys so much. Thanks for reading.

M.B.

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