Never Look Back by frenchiegirl

Never Look Back

Standard Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not my property, but are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and I am making no money from this whatsoever.

Warning: This story contains rape and sexual content. It is rated M for mature. If you do not wish to read about Kagome having non-consensual sex with Sesshoumaru, then do not read this story. This is not an accurate portrayal of the act of rape. Yes, it's one of 'those' stories. This was written in response to a hentai challenge among friends, but I deviated from the guidelines a tad.

Never Look Back won 2nd place in the Best One-shot category at the Feudal Association, May 2006.

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He watched them for years, the bitter emotions hidden well behind his cold façade. He did not do much of the observing himself; it filled him with disgust to be so near to his half-brother. Much of his information was gleaned from Jaken's sputtered accounts.

Soon after Naraku's death, he was informed that Inuyasha had taken the oddly dressed young priestess as his mate. He learned of their subsequent happiness through the imp's accounts as well. Inuyasha's happiness became an obsession of sorts, just as Tessaiga had ruled his thoughts for so many years. His brother's fate was not his sole preoccupation. He attended to other matters; the Western lands did not rule themselves. However, his thoughts inevitably returned to his cursed half-brother as time allowed.

During one such lull, he waited in the forest for Jaken to return with news. He felt his brother approaching with his mate. Rather than slip away, a thing that was beneath him, he simply masked his presence. The priestess's angry tones soon reached his ears. She was angry with the hanyou, that much was obvious, and he detected a change in her scent which indicated she was carrying a child.

They stopped near the tree in which he waited. Her annoying shrieks rang through the forest, but after a few minutes, she suddenly threw her hands around the hanyou and began sobbing into his haori. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes and looked away. He could still smell her tears and could hear the comforting sounds that Inuyasha was making in an attempt to soothe her. Finally, all was quiet and Sesshoumaru ventured another look. The girl was now smiling brightly up at the hanyou. The only traces of her earlier discontent were the streaks of tears drying on her cheeks. The expressions on their faces as they gazed silently at one another reminded him of those he had witnessed from his father and Izayoi so many years ago. He turned his back to them and darted swiftly through the trees, his lips curled in a snarl.

x x x x

Many years later, he was waiting again in the forest when he heard the voices of children. He followed the sound until he found Inuyasha's children. He stood and watched the children as they played a game of tag, leaping and running wildly across the windswept fields, their high, chirping voices carrying along the breeze.

He growled and left the innocent scene behind, returning to the shelter of the forest with unwanted memories of another high pitched, chirping voice following close at his heels. He was not certain what had become of Rin since he had left her in a human village at the age of thirteen.

Sesshoumaru despised their happiness. It was such a weak and ridiculous thing that the two lovers shared... such a human emotion. Inuyasha was weak, he was indeed half-human, but that did not mean that he should be allowed to wallow in such a pointless thing as happiness.

His blood boiled at the very thought of Inuyasha being content with his lot in life. He should live in misery, as the half-breed was truly an abomination. And his kits, they should be despised and detested by all. Sesshoumaru stared intently into the flames of the campfire which Jaken had built, a sentimental habit left over from their travels with Rin. He stood up, scattering the red-hot coals across the ground with a swift kick. Jaken awoke, startled out of a deep sleep and watched groggily as the ghostly pale form of his master disappeared into the forest.

x x x x

A few days later, Sesshoumaru lay hidden, watching the priestess. She had wandered far from the village, perhaps in hopes of getting a few moments of peace. He searched her face for some trace of discontent, for any dullness within her eyes, or a tightening around her lips. There was none to be found. In fact, she looked relaxed as she washed the soiled clothing in the fast-flowing stream. Her eyes held a faraway expression and her lips moved in a song which Sesshoumaru was unable to pick up.

He cocked his head, scanning her features. She had noticeable streaks of silver in her mane of dark hair, but her face still appeared youthful. A sudden memory of her flashed before his vision, she was facing him across the ethereal landscape of his father's tomb, her legs planted in a determined stance wearing that strange, revealing garb. She held the sword Tessaiga before her bravely, if awkwardly. The little human still looked much as he remembered her from that time, though she now wore a more traditional garb, and that surprised him a little. What was her name...Kagome, yes that was it.

The call of an animal sounded from somewhere deep in the forest and she glanced up, a sudden wariness marring her delicate features. After a few moments, she relaxed again and returned to her task.

She probably felt fortunate. She had a dutiful mate and two healthy children.

Sesshoumaru growled and pushed off from his resting place, landing gracefully beside her. She jerked the wet clothing up as he appeared, soaking the front of her own clothing. He could hear her heart racing and her breathing grow erratic. Fear lay thick in her scent. He licked his lips, tasting it. Otherwise, he stood unmoving in front of her, his features devoid of expression.

She was happy, they all were. It was time he changed that.

Anger welled up inside of him to be so close to her, but he managed to keep his voice level as he spoke, "You're just a whore... that half-breed's whore." His expression did not change as he spoke, but Kagome jumped, releasing the wet clothing and allowing it to sink into the water. Her eyes were wide with fear.

"What makes you think you deserve to be treated any better than the human filth that you are?"

Kagome gave no answer, simply stood there as if waiting for him to continue. This angered him more than if she had tried to fight him or tried to run. He forced his anger down. He wanted his actions to be cold and unfeeling, as if he were grinding his heel down on an annoying insect. A display of anger would be beneath him.

Yet she still stood there quietly, as if she wished to taunt him with a show of bravery.

In a blur of motion, he snatched her roughly against him, "I'll show you how a whore deserves to be treated." His voice betrayed a growl. He was shaking with the effort not to rip into her with his claws as the smell of her fear battered against his self-control. He stood there a moment, the muscles of his arms and shoulders tensing in effort. He reminded himself that this was to be an act of cold revenge, meant to shove the half-breed and his family firmly back into their places. It would not be an act of passion or of pleasure.

With the tip of a clawed finger, he forced her chin up until her dark eyes met his own. Her eyes seemed dull, uncomprehending. He thought that she might perhaps be experiencing a mild form of shock.

His long, silver hair spilled over his shoulder and brushed softly against the side of her face. She was terrified, but moved as he bid her to. At the sight of his golden eyes and pale hair, her fear melted into a dazed bewilderment.

He smiled unpleasantly. "Do not mistake me for my half-wit brother, human." His smooth, cool tone was long gone and his voice was uncharacteristically rough.

Kagome gave a strangled cry and averted her eyes, "No, of course, I would never... it's just you two look so much alike," she stuttered out.

Sesshoumaru's grip around her shoulder's tightened painfully. Was the bitch mad? He leaned in against her ear and whispered, "Silence, woman, unless you wish to be dead." Growling, he pulled her underneath a nearby tree and spun her around roughly. He began to remove her clothes deftly with his claws while bracing her with the weight of his body.

She did not struggle, but lay limply against him, as if in a daze.

He froze suddenly and sniffed the air. The breeze carried a trace of Inuyasha's scent. Perhaps guessing the reason for his pause, Kagome found the will to struggle. She squirmed against him and he released his hold at once. She stumbled backwards and landed on her knees. She was up again with surprising agility and disappeared into the undergrowth.

Sesshoumaru hardly seemed to notice. He continued staring off into the distance for a few moments, until he was satisfied that there would be no unfortunate interruptions. Turning in the direction which Kagome had fled, he gave chase with his lips curled in an eager smile. He found her quickly, snatching her up from behind. She yelped as the two of them took to the air, afraid to struggle as she might find herself tumbling to the ground far below. Within seconds, they were back at the original spot.

His eyes never left hers as he began to remove his armor. Kagome sensed something feral about his manner now and a cold fear curled in the pit of her stomach. His movements seemed uncharacteristically hurried, rushed even. His haori fell to the ground next and Kagome's eyes wandered to the old injury, his missing arm. He winced, as if remembering the old pain.

Along with his armor and clothing, he seemed to have shed the last vestiges of his control. His entire body was shaking visibly now and his chest rose and fell more quickly than it should have.

Sesshoumaru's eyes burned a molten gold hue, but there was not trace of red yet. He stood there in front of her, undiminished by his lack of armor and finery, yet seeming more human-like for the lack of it.

Despite herself, Kagome was again reminded of Inuyasha, who possessed a similar silver-haired beauty. She had seen Inuyasha in much the same state many times early on in their relationship, trembling and half-wild, as he fought for control of his youkai blood during their lovemaking. It had been years since she had last seen him in that state, the passing of time and the challenges of childrearing had mellowed his attentions. She shivered, a mixture of confusion and tenderness crossing her features at the intense barrage of memories.

Sesshoumaru made no move towards her. He stood facing her for quite some time. Kagome had a sudden thought that perhaps he might have some compassion in his bitter heart after all and had altered his intentions. She stood and began to back away slowly, covering her nakedness with her hands as best she could.

In a flash of silver, he was on her again. He gripped the base of her long braid, pulling her head back and running his tongue up and down her exposed neck. He pressed her against him and she could feel his erection against her abdomen. He explored her body roughly with his mouth and hands, leaving traces of saliva and tiny scratches from his claws and fangs. At this rough treatment, the fear which had kept her passive and immobile was soon replaced by hot anger. She stiffened and dug her nails into her palms. She wanted to strike out against him, but dared not.

Sesshoumaru seemed to sense her change in mood and ceased his forceful ministrations. He rose to face her at eye-level, all the while growling threateningly. A tremor of fear ran through Kagome as she saw that his eyes were tinged with red.

He flipped her over and pulled his erection free of his pants. He gripped her braid and used it to pull her close until she was pinned against his chest. "I'm taking you like this, like a whore," he growled out, jerking her hair cruelly as he pressed against the delicate folds of her sex.

She arched forward, trying desperately to tear herself away. Panic threatened to overwhelm her. In response, he cupped his hand around her sex and plunged his penis into her, grunting in satisfaction at the way her inner walls gripped him tightly. Kagome's struggles ceased, but his forceful penetration caused her to cry out. He hesitated for a moment. But soon, he was gripping her hair again. He forced her to arch back into him and began pumping furiously.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Until this very moment, she had not thought it would come to this. A part of her had expected Inuyasha or someone else to save her, or even for Sesshoumaru to leave, satisfied in merely terrifying her. She tired to suppress her cries of pain as he forced her head back even further, his breath coming in sharp gasps against her ear. Even through her fear and panic, she wondered at his powerful reactions. She had never seen him in such a heated, passionate state. She had never thought Sesshoumaru capable of anything but cold, calculated actions.

At least his fervor meant that it would be over soon.

Unexpectedly, instead of finishing quickly, he relaxed his hold on her, entwining his clawed fingers into the mass of her dark hair which had come loose from its braid. He shifted and caught her around her waist, allowing her to fall forward in a controlled manner while he cradled her gently against his chest.

He had slowed his pace and was now grinding against her, a shiver running through his body with each thrust. With a particularly deep thrust, she heard him whimper softly against her ear, an indication that his base youkai nature must be in control. The Sesshoumaru that she knew would never lower himself to act in such a way. Still, his uninhibited display and gentle touch caused an unexpected thrill to run through Kagome. Her body began to react shamefully to his grinding thrusts. As treacherous as her physical reaction was to Sesshoumaru's sudden gentleness, she could not help but wonder at how this warmth and passion could have been hidden so completely behind his icy veneer.

Sesshoumaru was confused by his body's reaction to the girl. Control slipped through his fingers as he mounted her, his inner beast taking over. But he did not rip and tear at her, instead his settled himself inside of her and found himself responding to her mewling cries with both sighs of pleasure and heightened care so as not to harm her with either his claws or strength. Who knew her delicate human body could elicit such pleasure? He thrust into her languidly, slowing his pace and leaning his head forward, feeling half-drunk from the sensations of the intense rutting.

There was yet a part of him that wanted to press her to the ground, slamming brutally into her, ending it all with a violent release. That baser part of him continually longed for blood and pain, but the pure ecstasy he gleaned from her flowery scent and the softness of her body overpowered even that.

The force of his thrusts, though significantly slower now, soon drove her to her knees. He crouched behind her, his long silver hair brushing lightly against her bare shoulders. His arm still gripped her waist and he marveled at the softness of the skin beneath his fingertips as he continued his slow, blissful rhythm. She instinctively bucked against him as he thrust in and out. This responsiveness from someone who should despise him surprised him and aroused him to no end. He threw his head back and groaned.

Sesshoumaru began to pick up his pace again and his grip on her waist tightened, causing her to whimper in pain once more. At this sound, Sesshoumaru ceased his thrusting and suddenly flipped her over onto her back so that she was facing him.

His eyes were red and his fangs hideously elongated. The muscles of his face were tense, his jaw clenched tightly in effort to control himself and his hair fell around his face like a shimmering curtain. Normally, this might have been frightening, but Kagome had seen a similar sight many times during her and Inuyasha's lovemaking. She could not help but study him, noting Sesshoumaru's more delicate features.

How breathtaking this loss of control made him. She drew in a short, gasping breath at the sight.

He slid his fingertips lightly down her back, causing goose bumps to rise over her skin. He then allowed himself to fall back against the trunk of the tree, pulling her along with him until she was straddling his hips. His hair now spilled about his face and shoulders in a silvery mass as he lay beneath her, giving him an almost angelic beauty. His inner beast was in control and she found herself a bit surprised that she was not dead.

By having her straddle his hips, he had placed her in the dominant position. A part of her wanted to cry out in anger and frustration at being forced into this position with anyone other than her mate. Yet, she had responded to him. He had placed her in this position because her body's reactions had willed it. It felt oddly natural have him beneath her. Why was she responding like this?

And why was he responding to her like this, as if she had awakened some previously unknown and passionate side to his nature?

Willing her to continue, he growled and arched his hips upwards. His clawed hands grasped her hips and brought her down hard on his arousal. "Move," he rasped.

She slumped forward and began to move slowly, rocking back and forth as he growled in pleasure beneath her. The movement was sending thrills of pleasure through her body. She felt ashamed and closed her eyes, fighting off tears.

"Open you eyes," he ordered, and she was suddenly drowning his blood-red ones. As they moved together, his eyes glazed over and he licked his lips. Suddenly, he arched up and gasped, his head thrown back and lips parted, revealing the tips of his sharp fangs. He quickened his pace and Kagome watched the intense emotions play across his features with rapt fascination – from surprise, to near-pain, to pure ecstasy. He leaned forward and whimpered against her shoulder, his entire body shuddering violently. He had spilled his seed inside of her, the despised elder brother of her mate, yet she could neither stop it nor hate it.

Even after he was spent, he pressed into her and she felt the weak pulsing of smaller aftershocks inside of her. Instinctively, she pressed back against him, grinding her most sensitive places against his pulsing member and slick groin area until her knees began to buckle beneath her. She screamed out with the force of her orgasm.

And then he was kissing her, his tongue plunging in and out of her mouth as if savoring the taste of her.

Eventually, he rolled away from her and gathered up his clothing and armor, staring up into the sky above as he dressed himself. She lay there, also looking dazedly up at the crystalline blue sky.

He wondered just when his little lesson had turned into a heated, emotional rut. He felt shaken, as if the woman lying on the ground before him had shorn away centuries of iron-clad control, leaving him vulnerable and weakened.

He did not even glance down at her. Instead, he left quickly, without a word.

x x x x

Several months later, Sesshoumaru arrived at the edge of a human village. He paused for a moment before letting his nose take him directly to Rin. She had formed many ties to the village after so many years, but she immediately stood and followed him into the forest without even backwards glance.

Some things are simpler if you don't look back.

For some, happiness comes when you follow your heart. For others, happiness only comes when you are forced to admit you have one.

AN: Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Concrit also encouraged.