Elusive Freedom by LeatherWings
In the Beginning
A/N~ Hello everyone! This is my first attempt at a fic in first person, so don't be too hard on me, ok? On second thought, I need all the help I can get, so flame away! Newayz, places, dates, etc. are not real (as far as I know), and in no way is this historically accurate (obviously). Now that we're done with that, on with the show! Please remember to read rate, and review!
*sigh* I hate writing this part: Roses are Red; Violets are Blue, me no own so you no sue!
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Hello. My name is Kagome, Higurashi Kagome, and I am 16 years old. I have lived with my parents, my younger brother Sota, and my older sister Sango on our small farm in Japan all of my life. But now, after all of the hard work that I have put into this place, I'm leaving for good, and there's not a damn thing that anyone can do about it. However, let me back up and tell you all about the circumstances that have led to my decision.
As I said, I am 16 years old. My younger brother Sota is 10, and my older sister Sango is 20. Our farm is a few centuries old, and lies on the west shore of the Kikujin River. On the east side of the river, there lives a man named Kouga. He's a widower with seven children, all little brats. I had to care for them when their mother, Kikyo, fell ill 7 years ago. My mom is the most talented healer around, so naturally, she was summoned. She took me with her, as always, because she was teaching me the art of healing. However, when we arrived, my mother quickly discovered that there was nothing that we could do for Kikyo, for at that time, my miko powers were not yet advanced enough to heal anything more than a fly. So I watched as Kikyo's eyes rolled into her head, and she to started convulse as my mother gave her a remedy for the pain. We left with our heads hanging, and I could tell that Mother was embarrassed that she could do nothing for Kikyo but sit and wait for the afterlife to claim her. I just walked beside her, holding her hand and staring at my feet while her tears stained the dirt path we tread on. I felt like crying with her, openly sobbing for my own limitations, but I just walked on, feeling detached. I had to be strong, to stay strong, because no one else would be strong for me, and I knew that when we returned home, tears would only dig me deeper into my already waiting grave.
My father, Higurashi Himatori, is a respected member of our community, and takes my mother's healing very seriously. Healing others, that is. He was waiting for us as we entered the gate around our property, his eyes bulging and his face red. He already knew that we had failed. I swore under my breath; sometimes it seemed like he had demons watching us work that then reported back to him. I was startled as he ripped my mom away from me and proceeded to drag her inside our house, gripping her elbow. I followed quickly, shutting the door softly behind me. I could hear my father yelling in the other room, and my mother's whimpering responses. Suddenly, a resounding slap rang through the small house. My father then burst into the room, picked me up roughly by the front of my shirt, and backhanded me viciously a few times. My head turned in the direction of each slap, and when he was finished I was extremely disoriented and only half aware of the small trickle of blood escaping the corner of my mouth.
"Ya Kami-damned no good bitch!" He yelled in my face, causing his stinking breath to wash over me. It was heavily laced with Sake.
"Yer useless! If you keep ruinin' our good name I'll take yer ugly ass out back ta the post." The post. A short explanation: If one of our animals was too old or sick to work, Father would take them out to the post, and they wouldn't be old or sick again... ever. Father dropped me and stormed out of the room, undoubtedly to consume more of his beloved sake. I remained on the floor where he had left me, hunched over with my head between my legs, checking for loose teeth. In a few hours, when it was dinnertime, I knelt by my father's chair with my head bent, waiting to be sent to my room and holding back the tears. So goes the nightly routine. Supper is a distant memory and happiness a foolish dream.
This is the way it has always been ever since I can remember. I used to be weak, I used to ask my self "Why me? Why am I so much worse than the others?" Stupid. I have come to realize that it is for the best. Sango is much more girly than me, much more vulnerable. If Father were to hit her, Kami only knows what would happen. Maybe she would kill herself... Maybe she would end up like mama, too scared to do anything but obey every dimwitted thing that slips through Father's rotten teeth. Sota, on the other hand, is strong-minded. I'm so proud of him, but his body is too weak to withstand Father's blows. Something's wrong with his spine, it's frail, and neither Mama nor I have any idea how to cure him. One hit from Father just might kill him. I remember one time after a particularly brutal beating; Sota came upon my broken form lying on the floor of my small room.
"Hey Sis, you ok?" At the sound of his voice, I stopped crying and looked up at him. He slowly shuffled into my darkened room and took a seat next to me.
"You-You shouldn't have to see me like this, Sota." I buried my face in my hands, concealing the large bruises and gashes adorning it. He gently reached over and lowered my hands.
"Like what? I don't see anything wrong with you. You're beautiful." I laughed; a broken sound that echoed off of the bare walls.
"I am, huh? Thanks Sota, but lying doesn't help anymore." He just stared sadly into my eyes.
"But you are... and you don't deserve this. Someday, when you're older, you'll have a handsome, rich husband and a whole buncha little Kagomes running around, and then Mama and Sango and I will come and live in your mansion and you'll cure me and..." His voice hushed to a whisper "...and we'll be happy." He stared desperately into my eyes for confirmation. My heart broke looking into those eyes, so I did the only thing that I could do.
"Of course we will! When I become more powerful, you will be the first person on my list to help... well, AFTER all the hot guys that will be throwing themselves at me and my sexy body..." It was Sota's turn to laugh now, and the cheery sound lifted my heart.
"You promise, Sis?"
"Yeah, I promise. I'll get you better someday." I ruffled his heir weakly, and with that, he smiled, stood, and left the room.
I plan on keeping my promise to my brother, whatever it takes, but I've learned to be grateful that it's me who takes the brunt of Father's anger. That it's me who's punished for the mistakes of others. That it's me who goes without dinner, instead kneeling by Papa's side like a fucking obedient lapdog. Yes, throughout all of this, I'm thankful that it's been me, for it will prepare me for the long road ahead.
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Well, hope you liked it! If you want me to write more, I suggest that you review... and hell.. if you want me to shut up, you better review anyway!
-Leather Wings