Two Hearts: Living Without Love by Erin M.

Chapter One

Part 1: Back Down the Well

Kagome awoke the next morning with bright sunshine in her eyes. She blinked a few times before she sat up off the grass. Inuyasha and the others were still asleep on the ground beside her. Kagome couldn't quite remember what happened what happened the night before except...

'"I will always be there for you, no matter what. It doesn't matter if you're here or in your own time, I will always be there for you and care for you."'

Kagome looked over at Inuyasha. He was still asleep, but he was sitting completely upright with his sword in his lap. Kagome slowly stood up and wiped a few wet strands of grass off her legs. She stepped around the already dead and blacked fire and made her way to the well.

'I just need to go home...' She thought. 'I just need to be there...just for a little while.'

The sun beamed down on her, waking her body with a warm, rich feeling. The sky above was cloudless and a crystal clear blue. She stepped out of the brush and entered the meadow where the well was located.

Kagome walked slowly over to the well, trying to soak up the last of the morning sun before going. Suddenly her eyes caught a large mound of dirt. She closed her eyes and quickly past it.

'No...' She thought to herself as her throat began to choke with tears. 'It's still too soon...'

She only had one of her knees on the edge of the well when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Oh...you're leaving again?" asked a soft voice.

Kagome turned around and saw him. His silver hair flowing in the breeze, his golden eyes fixed on her, his red kimono slightly swaying about him.

"Inuyasha..." She whispered.

Inuyasha started to walk towards her, his face in dismay.

"You will come back soon right?" He said as he looked directly into her shiny brown eyes.

"Of course." She replied as she turned to go.

"Do you promise?" Inuyasha asked anxiously.

Kagome turned around again and gave him a small smile. She reached over and grabbed Inuyasha's hand.

"I promise." She said as she gave his hand a small squeeze.

Kagome turned around and hopped into the well. Inuyasha rushed over to the side to see her go, but she had already disappeared.

"Please come back soon..." he whispered.

Suddenly there was a rush of footsteps. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara emerged into the clearing.

"Oh did Kagome leave again?" Sango asked.

"Yeah..." Inuyasha said wearily.

"And I didn't get to say good-bye to her!" Shippo cried.

"Don't worry...she'll be back soon." Inuyasha said as he approached the group.

"Well...shall we have some breakfast then?" Miroku said as he stretched out his arms and yawned to the morning.

Part 2: Wish You Were Here...

Kagome felt her feet touch the soft dirt floor below her. She took her time getting out the well, for her body felt sore from sleeping on the ground. She pulled herself out of the well and stood up.

'"Do you promise?"'

Kagome couldn't help but get those words out of her head. She couldn't help thinking about how sad Inuyasha looked when she jumped back down the well. Kagome opened the well shrines door and her eyes were meet with beautiful sunshine. She closed the door and started walking to her home.

'He looked so worried about me...' She thought as she felt the warmth of the sun on her shoulders. 'What was he thinking about? Did he think I would do something to hurt myself?'

'Well it is a logical thought.' Said another voice in her head. 'I mean...it was far from my mind...but still...'

Kagome opened the door to her home and stepped inside.

"I'm home!" She called.

Nobody replied.

'Must be out again.' She thought as she slid her shoes off. She walked into the kitchen and looked at the clock.

'Only 8:30?' she thought thinking it to be later.

Kagome walked into her living room and turned on the television. Some news was on, so was some talk shows. Kagome could feel her eyelids slipping down over her eyes. She refocused her mind and turned off the TV.

'Maybe I should take a little nap.' She thought as she lay across the couch. 'I didn't get much sleep last night.'

Kagome closed her eyes and let her mind drift off into sleep.

'Sesshoumaru...I wish you were here...'

~*~*~*

Kagome's thoughts were muddled. They seemed to swirl around and around her head, not wanting to stop. Kagome found herself in a place of mist and darkness.

"Inuyasha?" She called.

Nothing replied.

"Where are you? Inuyasha!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

Suddenly, a single arrow came flying towards her. Kagome wanted to scream but her lungs were cut off. Her sight became reddened and she stumbled about, trying to breath.

"Kagome..." a deep voice whispered.

~*~*~*

Kagome woke up gasping. She clutched her chest, looking for an arrow.

'It...was a dream?' She thought as she tried to control her breathing. 'But...it felt so real...'

Kagome quickly got off the couch and went back into the kitchen. The house still seemed to be empty. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed a cold water bottle. The clock read 1:47.

'I'd better get back to the feudal age...' she thought as she looked around for her yellow backpack.

Kagome went upstairs and changed into a khaki skirt and dark blue top. She threw her dirty clothes on the ground and went back downstairs with her backpack in hand. She started to pack blankets, water, food, and supplies into the bag, filling it to the brim. She clasped it shut and slipped it over her shoulders with difficulty.

Kagome slipped her brown shoes back on her feet and stepped back out into the fresh sunshine.

'Amazing...' she thought. 'It's so beautiful today. But yesterday it was so terrible...'

She opened the door to the shrine and walked down the steps. She put her knees on the side of the well and slid back into feudal age.

Part 3: Coming Back

Kagome felt herself land inside the well, her heavy bag weighing her down. She looked up, then quickly closed her eyes. She was blinded by the bright sun. Her hands stumbled around for something the climb onto to. She brushed a vine and quickly grabbed onto it. She started climbing up the well, still closing her watering eyes. Kagome was about half way up the well when she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, want a hand?" said a deep, soothing voice.

Kagome's breath was caught in her throat. She slowly looked up to see who had spoken to her.

'No...it couldn't be...' she thought as she stared up at him.

But there he was. His long silver hair breezing about his shoulders, his golden eyes shining back at hers, a familiar blue crescent moon in the middle of his forehead. She could see him clearly, for his head was blocking the sun, making it easily for her to see.

He was smiling at her, outstretching a hand for hers.

"Se...Sess..." She stuttered quietly.

Suddenly the sun was in her eyes again, and he was gone. She felt her hands slip into someone else's and she was pulled up out of the well. She felt her knees hit the wooden side of the well and another familiar voice.

"Hey Kagome. You're back so soon!"

Kagome opened her eyes and looked at the voice, her hands still in his. Inuyasha was beaming at seeing her back so soon.

"I didn't know...if you would be back this quickly or not." He said smiling at her.

Kagome's feet felt the grass ground and she stood up. But her legs were shaking badly. Her head felt dizzy and she couldn't quite support the weight of her bag.

"Whoa hey! Are you alright Kagome?" Inuyasha said catching her shoulders as she fell into him.

"Hu...huh? Inuyasha? Is that you?" She asked dizzily.

"Here. Sit down and take that bag thing off." He said, helping her sit in the grass.

Kagome opened her eyes and focused her mind. She looked into Inuyasha's face, seeing it full of worry and sadness. She sat up and took her heavy bag off her shoulders.

"Are you alright Kagome?" He asked her.

"I'm okay...just a little dizzy I guess." She replied.

Suddenly, three people emerged from behind Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Kagome! You're back!" Shippo squealed.

"Kagome-chan!" Sango called.

They rushed over, and showered Kagome with hugs. Inuyasha pulled Kagome to her feet and picked her bag up. As Kagome stood, her eyes caught sight of Sesshoumaru's grave.

'Hold back,' she thought. 'You can make it through this.'

"Well shall we be going now?" Miroku asked.

"I'm not sure..." Inuyasha replied.

"Why's that?" Sango asked suspiciously.

Inuyasha glanced over, and saw Kagome staring at Sesshoumaru's grave. Sango and Miroku caught on, thinking that Kagome would need sometime to heal before searching for any Shikon shards. Kagome continued to stare at the grave, not being able to look away.

"Ah...well...maybe we should rest for today..." Miroku said with a smile.

"Yeah! I need to clean my boomerang anyways!" Sango added on.

"Huh? What are you talking about? You guys can do that anytime! Come on! Let's go find some Shik- OWW!" Shippo yelled as Miroku knocked him off his shoulder.

"Kagome..." Inuyasha said.

Kagome was entranced. As she stared at Sesshouamaru's grave, she couldn't get the mental picture of him dying in her arms out of her head.

'"I...love...you..." He whispered.

Then, Kagome felt his hand slip away from her face. It dropped to the side of his limp body. His golden eyes went blank and that's when Kagome knew...he was gone.'

It just wouldn't go away.

"Kagome? Are you okay?" Inuyasha asked her, giving her hands a quick squeeze.

"Huh?" She said, finally looking away from the grave. "Oh yeah...I'm fine you guys. Don't worry about me."

Throughout the day, everyone tried to busy themselves as much as possible. Shippo played with his tops, while Sango cleaned her boomerang. Miroku and Inuyasha tried to play a card game Kagome taught them, but couldn't seem to get the concept of "Go fish."

Kagome rested herself against a tree as she watched everyone doing their own thing, not having to think about the one person who she loved and lost.

Part 4: The Nightmare

As night fell, Kagome made everyone a cup of instant noodles for dinner and helped Sango make beds for everyone. Miroku started telling stories about the village girls back where he used to live, but nobody really wanted to listen. As the night grew on, the group started to feel tired and went to sleep.

Kagome stared into the burning fire as her friends dozed off into sleep. She tried settling her mind, but she couldn't quite get her eyes to shut.

'If you were here right now, Sesshoumaru,' she thought to herself, 'falling asleep wouldn't be a problem.'

Eventually, as the fire turned into just burning embers, Kagome felt the weight of sleep coming upon her and she finally shut her eyes.

~*~*~*

Kagome was in that same place again. Mist and darkness seemed to embrace her.

'Where am I?' she thought.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps coming from in front of her.

"Who's there?" she called.

Suddenly, a silhouette of a person was visible.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome called.

But it wasn't Inuyasha. Out of the mist stepped-

"Kikyo?!" Kagome gasped.

Suddenly the mist and darkness turned into the clearing by the well. The sky was dark with black clouds sprouting a heavy raining. Kikyo reached back and grabbed an arrow from behind her.

'Oh my gosh!' Kagome remembered. 'This is that day! This is the day that-'

Kikyo placed her arrow in her bow and prepared to shoot. That's when Kagome heard sounds from the woods on the other side of her. She turned and saw Sesshoumaru, staring at her in horror.

"Kagome..." he whispered.

'That's it! I can save him!' She quickly thought.

But Sesshoumaru was already sprinting towards her.

"Wait Sesshoumaru! STOP!" She cried.

"Prepare to die!" Kikyo screamed as she released the arrow.

Kagome saw it coming. But she also saw Sesshoumaru coming at her, ready to take the arrow for her.

"Sesshoumaru!" she cried.

"NO!" he shouted as she felt him push her out of the way.

Just as it played out before her two days ago, she saw the look of pain on his face and Kikyo's arrow sticking out his back. And just like two days ago, Kikyo disappeared from the scene.

"No..." Kagome cried as she knelt by Sesshoumaru. "NO! I was supposed to die! Not you, Sesshoumaru..."

She quickly turned Sesshoumaru over and laid his head in her lap. Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and said his final words.

"I...love...you..." he whispered.

Kagome's tears were flowing down her face, landing on Sesshoumaru's cold, pale face.

"NO!" She cried.

Suddenly, she blinded by a flash of white light.

~*~*~*

Part 5: Living Without Love

"Kagome! Wake up! Kagome!" she heard as she felt someone shaking her from her dream.

Kagome was screaming at the top of her lungs, crying Sesshoumaru's name. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and gasped.

"Kagome! Are you alright?" asked a soothing voice.

Kagome turned, hoping to see Sesshoumaru's beautiful face. But she was met with the face of Inuyasha, who looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

"In...Inuyasha?" she gasped, breathing hard.

Sango, Miroku, and Shippo's faces were also there, looking at her with absolute terror.

"Ka...Kagome?" Shippo said in a shaking voice.

Inuyasha knelt by Kagome and put his hand on her forehead.

"She has a fever..." he said as he released his hand off her forehead and placed it on a shaking arm. "But, she's freezing and shaking all over."

Kagome wasn't sure who he was addressing this information to, but after he let go of her arm, he turned around and gave the rest of the group instructions.

"Miroku and Sango, go get some fresh water from that stream near here," he said. "Shippo, go find some more wood to put on the fire."

Everyone nodded and went to do their assigned tasks. Inuyasha sat down by Kagome and cupped his hands under her head.

"Here." he said quietly.

He slowly lifted her head into her lap and held her cold, shivering hand. Sango and Miroku quickly returned with a bottle of cold water. Inuyasha gave some to Kagome, then wet a cloth of Kagome's and put it on her forehead. Shippo came back carrying an armload of wood. He threw it on the fire, then rushed to get more.

"We'll go get some more water." Miroku said as Inuyasha returned the empty bottle back to him.

As the fire built back up, Inuyasha and Kagome sat in silence. The night seemed cold, although beads of sweat continued to trickle down Kagome's forehead.

"You miss, don't you," Inuyasha said quietly, staring into the blazing fire.

Kagome stared up at him, his face expressionless, and nodded slightly.

"It's strange," he continued on, "I barely knew him...yet I miss him too."

Kagome was taken aback. She had always thought Inuyasha hated his demon brother. But here he was, saying that he missed him.

"Inuyasha..." she whispered, "I...I'm-"

"No." He cut in. "You don't have to say it. I know that you loved him. I know you saw Kikyo and me in the willow tree that night you disappeared...and I know that he took you to his castle in the Western Lands..."

Kagome didn't know what to say. Her head was swimming with thoughts as Inuyasha continued not to look at her.

"I...I don't know how to explain it all," replied to him after a moment of silence. "I just...felt something when I saw him. It was kind of the same feeling when I you for the first time."

Inuyasha was now peering into Kagome's deep brown eyes, but Kagome's mind was fixed on the starred filled sky above her.

"I...I guess I'm...living without love." She whispered, tears filling the brim of her eyes.

"That's not true." Inuyasha replied sternly.

Kagome's attention spun away from the sky, and onto Inuyasha again.

"You have us," Inuyasha said as Kagome propped herself into a sitting position. "You have your, friends, your family, and...you have me."

Kagome couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. But somehow, she heard truth in his voice. She wanted to say something to him...but she couldn't quite figure out how.

"And I know...I know he still loves you." Inuyasha said quietly as he turned back to the burning fire. "I know...I just have this feeling...that he's watching over you from up there...and loving you."

'Now I know I must be dreaming,' she thought dumfounded. 'There's no way Inuyasha would ever say anything...like that.'

"Do you...want to see him?" Inuyasha asked as he stared back at Kagome.

Kagome thought for a moment, not knowing what to do.

'Do I...want to see him again?' she thought as the fire warmed her freezing body.

Without thinking, Kagome nodded her head. Inuyasha helped her to her feet and gestured her to get on his back. She climbed onto him slowly, putting her hands on his shoulders. Once she was on, Inuyasha hooked his arms around her knees and jumped off into the night.

Part 6: Only You

Kagome felt Inuyasha skid to a sudden halt. She opened her eyes to darkness. Her hair stopped billowing from behind her, the wind stopped whipping her face. Her mind felt dizzy, but she centered herself and got off Inuyasha's back.

"Are...we here?" she asked.

"Yeah." Inuyasha replied.

Kagome stepped beside Inuyasha and let her eyes adjust to the darkness. Slowly but surely, a dark outline on the ground in front of her came into view. She steadied herself and took a few steps forward.

"Did you...want to say a few words to him?" he asked Kagome, catching her off guard. "I mean...I don't think you said all you wanted to say to him before...he..."

Kagome knelt in the soft grass in front of Sesshoumaru's grave, trying to hold back her tears.

"Ummm...hey..." she said confusingly.

'Man...I must sound so stupid to him.' She thought, but continued on.

"I...I'm sorry." She started off. "I'm sorry for ever hurting you...I'm sorry for everything that I did to you...and I'm sorry...for letting you die."

She paused for a moment, wanting to look back at Inuyasha, but she knew she couldn't face him now.

"Sesshoumaru...you didn't deserve it. I did. I deserved to be killed. Not you. But...you saved me..."

Kagome was now crying freely, letting her tears fall on his grave.

"I should've let the arrow ram right through me! I could've saved you! I..."

She put her face in her hands, trying to muffle her sobbing. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Go on..." Inuyasha whispered.

Kagome released her hands and sniffed her tears away.

"I just wish...you were still here with me. But...I know that you're still loving me."

She stood up and looked at the star-stridden sky.

"Because I'm still loving you..."

Inuyasha was now staring at Kagome. Her tears looked like shooting stars falling from her glistening brown eyes.

"I miss you..." she whispered to the sky.

Suddenly, Kagome felt a soft warm hand slide into hers.

"You're not the only one..." Inuyasha said with a slight smile.

He gave Kagome's hand a slight squeeze before they departed for the forest, their fingers entwined in a tangle of friendship.

Part 7: Still With You

Kagome stood on the grassy ridge where she had been the night of Sesshoumaru's death. The sun was shining down on her, like a beacon of love. The wind blew flower petals from a near by blossom tree all around her. She looked out across the wide lands of ancient Japan.

'I know you're not still with me...' she thought dreamily to herself as she let her dark black hair play across her face.

"Kagome!" called the small voice of Shippo. "We're going now! Let's go!"

"Coming!" She called back.

Kagome took one last glance at the hills and mountains spread out before her.

'But I know you're still loving.' She thought as she smiled to herself. 'Like I'm still loving you.'

"Kagome!" Shippo called again. "Come on! Are you coming or what?"

"Aright! I'm coming!"

Kagome turned away from the ridge and run back to her friends, dropping several blossom flowers on Sesshoumaru's grave on her way, letting them swirl around it with breeze.

The End!