Unwanted Freedom by ShadyMinion
Unwanted Freedom
SM: A collection of disjointed scenes glued together to form a semblance of a story. Rampant OOCness and Darkness.
Unwanted Freedom
To say that the situation was mutually disliked would be to describe a knife slicing to bone as a paper cut. Neither party enjoyed each other's company whatsoever. However, as they were both in a situation that required them to be...companions, they tried their best to get along. At least one of them had tried...
-:- -:- -:-
Kagome smirked at her handiwork. Her coloring had returned to a flawless pale pink, and she was able to move about with enough grace to belie any injury or pain. Perfect! He would never suspect anything. She managed to walk across the room without wincing, and was quite proud of herself. She had put a lot of work into tonight. She would have to confess to him tonight. Her friends had been nagging at her for months, but she worried over his reaction if she told him.
She didn't want to hurt him. She had developed a soothing feeling with being around him, one that she had eventually accepted as strong affection. How strong the affection was, though, she was unsure. She just knew that if she was no longer with him, she would be miserable. She finally capitulated once the signs had become unmistakable. She had begun to use her miko abilities to sort of charm his eyes away from her body, but the minor spells drained her mental powers. She hadn't wanted him to suspect anything was wrong. Kagome sighed wearily, rubbing at the darkened mark on the side of her throat. Tonight would be the night.
-:- -:- -:-
Sesshoumaru hesitated at the boundaries of his estate. True, the whole of the Western Lands was his, but he only considered the castle as his very own. The Lands were his father's, gained and kept through war and blood. There were hardly any existing youkai left to challenge his strength. Maintaining his lands was an almost unnecessary task. He had allowed most of the Lands to regress into the wilds, or fall into the hands of greedy ningen. He had no use for them. He protected his very own properties fiercely, though. Anything that he had believed to be his, things that he himself had earned, and not his father, he guarded possessively.
Now, he paused at the borders of his property. Everything beyond that invisible line was undeniably his. It was his right to keep, destroy, or release. No other had rights to what belonged to him. Absently, he brought a hand up to the starkly colored mark at his neck. His property. Confident in that belief, he crossed into his lands easily.
-:- -:- -:-
The sudden sharp slamming of the shoji screen startled Kagome. She looked up, a death grip on the glassware she held, afraid of dropping it. Her expression warmed instantly at the recognition of Sesshoumaru. She smiled.
Sesshoumaru regarded warily. The way she looked at him, bothered him. The raw affection shining so brightly in her eyes somewhat disgusted him. His face pulled into a mask of cold indifference, he nodded in acknowledgement of her welcome. She beamed at him. He fought the urge to curl his lips in disdain. Sliding his eyes away from her, he studied the room. It appeared that she had spent the whole day here, preparing for something. She had also, he noted, once again refused the work of his servants. Everything was her own handiwork. He could smell her gentle scent covering every inch of the place. He could even feel the lingering tingle of her magic in the air. Whatever she had been planning would be important. Good, he thought. He also had something important to share with her.
-:- -:- -:-
Both finished their food, sitting in silence. Sesshoumaru, as he usually did, barely touched his food. He knew that she had expended much effort in producing a meal he would find acceptable. It was not simply acceptable, but it was tailored to his specific tastes and created in a manner that noted that she had a deeper understanding of his preferences than even his closest servants. Surprisingly, Kagome ate very little herself. Normally, she would have finished her plate, seemingly not caring that he never finished his. This time, she took more interest in pushing her food around with her chopsticks, rather than picking it up and placing the carefully cooked morsel into her mouth.
The plates were cleared from their presence by swiftly moving servants, almost invisible in their subtlety. Still, Kagome sat quietly. She was tense, as if having an unspoken argument with herself, idly wringing her fingers every so often. Finally, Sesshoumaru's patience wore thin. If she wouldn't speak, then he would. "Kagome." He said softly.
Startled eyes shot up from the table to meet his. If he was surprised by Kagome's reaction, he didn't show it. She blinked a few times, as if to regain her bearings. Once composed, her tense body relaxed slightly. Her expression calmed, though he could still tell from the rigidity of her posture and the dilation of her eyes that she was nervous. "Y-yes?" Her voice cracked. She gave a small cough. "Yes?" She repeated, her voice smoother.
"Are you dissatisfied with this arrangement?"
Kagome looked surprised by the question. It was highly unusual of the youkai to wonder about her satisfaction. "Not at all, Sesshoumaru. You've provided for me and more. I'm very grateful to you for it all." Her expression glowed as she smiled. "I just wish there was something I could do for you in return."
He suppressed a smirk. He had expected her reaction. "You can." He stated.
She looked up at him with a curious and yet hopeful expression.
"From the start, this situation was disagreed upon by both of us from the beginning. We adapted as required. It is satisfactory. However, I have discovered something to which I take a keen interest into, and I wish to pursue it. With your agreement, I can be relinquished to do so." He eyed her emotionlessly. They both understood what he was asking. He had found a mate worth courting. He had long ago come of age to produce an heir, but he had never taken an interest in it, as he was still young and one of the most powerful Taiyoukai's in all of Japan. A female had finally caught his interest.
Unconsciously, Kagome had raised a hand to her mark. His eyes narrowed at her action. Upon realizing it, her hand snapped down so hard that the sound of her hand slapping the flesh of her thigh was loud enough to make her wince. "How long?" She asked quietly.
"Three months." He answered curtly.
She nodded mutely. It had been three months ago when he had first decided to court his chosen female. He only brought it up now when he wished to pursue her physically. In order to do that, Kagome would have to release him. "Is this what you want?" She asked, softly. "Truly?" She stressed the word. If it was that important to him, she would let him go. She wouldn't hold him back for her own selfish emotions, but she had to convey that if he chose this, it would be permanent.
He nodded without hesitation.
She bit her lip. "Alright." Slowly, she stood from her end of the table. She walked toward him, and knelt beside where he sat on a cushion. She brought up two fingers, staring at them until they began to glow a gently blue. As she was about to press it against the darkened mark on his own neck. He grasped her wrist, stopping her.
"Was there something you wished to tell me?" He asked, eyes staring deeply into hers.
She hesitated. Did he really want to know? Or was he asking out of politeness. She chewed on her bottom lip. "It doesn't matter any more." She answered, looking away.
"Tell me. You know I will not turn you out afterwards. You will be as welcome here as always. Your status will not have truly changed."
Something in her stance hardened. Eyes shadowed by her bangs, she wrestled her hand from his. She pressed her fingers to the mark on his neck. It faded almost instantly. She stood up and turned around walking toward the door. She paused as she reached the screen, her hands pressed against the wood and delicate paper. "I know." She said so quietly, that had he been human, he would not have heard. Then she slid the door open and left.
-:- -:- -:-
Several weeks passed, and Sesshoumaru had not been more pleased. The courtship had been successful as his chosen female had since been enamored with him the moment she had laid eyes on him. She had been taken into his home, and treated as the mistress and future mate of the Taiyoukai. She was gorgeous and lovely, absolutely exuding the feminine persona. A delicate creature. The epitome of the fairer sex. Yet she was strong. A powerful female of prestigious lineage. She would bend to the will her mate, and to him alone. She was the perfect female for him. Throughout his time with her, Kagome had not crossed his mind once.
-:- -:- -:-
It was not until quite a bit of time had passed that Sesshoumaru realized that there was something amiss within his home. It was strange. He had been distracted for so long, that when he finally noticed, it was like a slap in the face. Something was...off. The servants were more subdued. He was more bored than usual. There was something lacking within his home. Something was missing.
He summoned a servant to locate Kagome for him. If anyone would know what was wrong, it would be Kagome. She possessed a strange intuition about his domain. When he made his command, the servant paled for a moment. He seemed to freeze up. Sesshoumaru glared at the young youkai. "What are you waiting for? Fetch her at once."
The servant gave a quick bow and left hurriedly. Sesshoumaru waited. Normally, Kagome would be able to find him within a span of twenty minutes, no matter how deep into his home she wandered. As he was currently sitting in the very center, it should not take her too long. He waited. And waited. An hour passed, and he began to feel irritated. He summoned another servant, repeating his order. Like the previous, the servant blanched at the mention of Kagome, and all but ran out the door. More time passed. Fuming, he once again summoned another servant. "Where is Kagome, that it takes so long for her to be retrieved?" He demanded, seething.
The servant shook, eyes wide. "I-I don't know, Sesshoumaru-s-sama." He stammered.
Golden eyes narrowed. "What do you mean you don't know?" He menaced. Bright green toxins dripped ominously from his claws, boring hissing holes into the wood.
"K-Kagome-sama had left months ago, my lord." The unlucky servant replied. "Sh-she gave you notice, but Sesshoumaru-sama was um...otherwise occupied." He reported shivering.
Sesshoumaru's wrist cracked. Green lanced across the room. The servant fell to pieces in a bloody heap. He sat back almost thoughtfully. So, did she think she could leave him? He didn't know why he was so bothered. She had released him, but he had not released her. She was still his. She still belonged to him. Where could she possibly go with his mark marring her flesh? It was curious, really. When he brought up the subject of his release, he had never once considered the possibility that she would leave. She had no where to go. Had she returned to that pathetic village in which his late mongrel of a half-brother had stayed?
He sniffed the air distastefully. It was rank with the foulness of spilt blood. He eyed the black mess. Disgusting. Reflecting that it was not fair to murder the one who had informed him, as it was not the servant's fault, he rested a hand on Tenseiga. The sword was perpetually strapped to his hip, as he was never sure when its services would be needed. He waited calmly for the answering pulse from the sword, and quickly revived his slain servant. He ordered the servant to find the other two he had unknowing dispatched in searching for Kagome, and commanded for them all to return. With that, he laid out his own plans to recover his errant property.
-:- -:- -:-
With Sesshoumaru's attentions no longer focused upon her, Kirei's expression soured. She had an idea of what had distracted him from her, but she did not understand why. For what reason did he chase after some ningen girl. The girl was no more beautiful than she. No more powerful. No more desirous. Kirei was a beauty that surpassed any in the cardinal directions, and she, and all the youkai of Japan knew it. So why would she be cast aside for some unflowered ex-priestess who had lost her powers?
-:- -:- -:-
Kagome vomited almost violently into the bucket. Her throat was raw and sore. She looked into the bucket, scowling at its contents. It had become tinged with red, as somewhere along her regurgitation of everything she had consumed that day had raced its burning way up her throat had also torn her esophagus enough to bleed. She slumped backwards, absently wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She ignored the pounding of the door, and the pleading of her friends to come out, or at least, let them in. Her eyes closed. Her friends couldn't make it through the door. She had reinforced barriers placed all about the room. They couldn't break through, nor could they see her, but she hadn't been able to damper the sound. She knew that they could hear everything she did in there. Kagome stood, rising shakily to her feet.
A nearby basin was filled to the brim with icy clean water she had retrieved from the stream moments before she had sensed her nausea. She hastily cleaned herself, rinsing her moth, and washing away all signs of the attack. Carefully, she tried to cleanse her appearance, allowing her ashen, pale face to glow. Her hair shone over its previous dull lankness. Her eyes glittered from the emptiness. She wasted her energy in trying to maintain a visage of health, but she didn't want her friends to worry. She practiced a smile, hoping that it would come to her easily. She stared at the reflection of her face in the water. They considered her their family now. She didn't want to cause them unnecessary pain.
Apprehensively, Kagome stared at a wall. It faced in the direction of the sunset. She knew that the sensations were not hers. She knew that they weren't natural. However, so much time had passed, that she had hoped that nothing would happen. Her hopes had been wasted. She had felt his anger. He knew she had left.
-:- -:- -:-
Sesshoumaru traveled swiftly, gliding over his lands at a speed unsurpassed by ningen and youkai alike. He alighted into the village on silent feet, but his presence was unmistakable. Instantly, he could scent the strong stench of fear permeate the air. At one time, he would have been bemused by the ningens' instinctual fear of him, even if they did not know of him, but his trip was not for his own amusement. He had come to retrieve what was his.
He stalked through the village on swift, soundless steps. His direction was intentional, heading toward a part of the village that was constructed in the forest, a section separate from the main body. A taijiya's hut.
-:- -:- -:-
The door opened so suddenly, and so quietly, that Kagome had not even noticed. She stood, staring at her reflecting in the water, unaware of the other's presence until arms were wrapped around her. She was pulled into a tight embrace, locked against a strong chest and warm arms. "I will protect you." He murmured softly. "If not for yourself, or myself, but just for the knowledge that you know that you are loved." He placed a soft kiss on her temple that she barely acknowledged. "You deserve happiness too. It's never too late."
Her lips trembled. Her magic faded. She turned, burying her face in his warmth, and allowed her tears to fall in silence.
-:- -:- -:-
Sharp cinnamon eyes focused on the intruder. Miroku was in the back room. Sango was in the front. They had both sensed the coming of the demon from miles away and had positioned themselves accordingly. Ever since they had heard of that abysmal plan to condemn Kagome to a life she would never have wanted just to save their own helpless lives, they knew it would end poorly. The death of Inuyasha had not been enough to show them that the decision had been wrong. Sesshoumaru and Kagome had remained bound until the end of the final battle, then both had vanished. There had been hope that they would have released each other to go their separate lives, but Fate had other plans. Now it was too late. But Sango would be damned if she allowed that monster to retake Kagome into his darkness. She deserved far better.
"You're unwelcome here, youkai." She hissed through tight lips. "Leave." Her body was tense, even as she sat knelt on the ground before the table. Had it not been for the taijiya uniform she wore, it would have appeared as if she had been ready to make tea, rather than battle a Taiyoukai.
Sesshoumaru regarded her with cold eyes. She was not something that could stand up to his power, but she had been one of Kagome's companions, and had also fought against Naraku. She should be awarded some acknowledgement. "My business is not with you. I am merely recovering that which has escaped." He replied indifferently.
Cinnamon eyes narrowed with hatred, blazing a brilliant crimson. He referred to Kagome as if she were just some wayward pet, an errant possession of his. The fool. "You have no business here." She stated, rising slowly.
Hiraikotsu, which was strapped to her back, clacked ominously as she moved. There was something about her weapon of choice that was different, more dangerous. He felt a tremor in the air. His eyes narrowed imperceptively.
Sango almost smirked. He could feel it too. The danger, the weight. It was heavy in the air. She could barely stand beneath the pressure, but it would be a small price to pay for Kagome's freedom. Sango's eyes never left his for a moment. She glared at him in tangible hatred. "Leave."
Sesshoumaru stood, unmoved, unmovable. He would not leave until he obtained that which he had come for.
A grin spread across Sango's face, unusual in its malice. She had secretly hoped that Sesshoumaru would the stubborn bastard like Inuyasha. She wanted to do this the hard way, if only to relieve herself of the frustrations of being so useless. She wouldn't be useless to Kagome anymore. It wasn't fair for the miko to have fought always alone, even with friends beside her. Kagome never had someone who could watch her back unfailingly. They had all tried, but their own shadows, their fears, crept up on them. Naraku played on their weaknesses until they abandoned Kagome to pursue their own demons, and fight battles with enemies that only existed in their own minds. One by one, they had been stripped away from Kagome, until she was alone and battling to save them all, their minds and their souls. She had unselfishly bound herself, losing her freedom and her family. Still, she smiled, and that caused Sango a pain deeper than she had ever known. Kagome did deserve better.
-:- -:- -:-
Hiraikotsu whirled through the air. Sesshoumaru's sensitive ears could hear it, and yet, something was off. Hiraikotsu was a powerful weapon for the taijiya, but it was still a blunt instrument carved from the backbone of a centipede youkai. There should be nothing about it which could harm him, but his instincts flared whenever the weapon flew past him. He wouldn't touch it, couldn't. Something told him that the new and unseen power of the slow moving, whirling weapon would be devastating to him.
He dodged easily, eyes staring at the bone, studying it. His movements were graceful as always, the bone not once coming even close to striking him. There was no difference in how she handled it, but it was different. It was dangerous, and he had no idea how. That was enough for him to be wary. So, he did not approach her, but he did not move farther back. He simply evaded the clumsy weapon, looking for a chance. He would pass her and enter the room behind. The room, he was certain Kagome was in.
The scent of magic filled his nostrils. He looked up, at the door which the taijiya so vehemently guarded. It opened, and the monk slid through, securing the door tightly behind him. The scent of magic grew stronger, wafting through the room, an unmistakable scent. It was Kagome's magic. The monk stood in front of the door, his eyes hooded. He crossed his arms in the silent gesture that if Sesshoumaru were to pass Sango, he would be the next opponent to battle.
Sesshoumaru snorted. How presumptuous of the ningens, to think that they stood a chance against him, a Taiyoukai! They should know better. They had fought side by side. They had seen his power. And they still chose to oppose him. Their confidence was unsettling.
Violet eyes stared at him coldly. Slowly, Miroku uncrossed his arms, the staff in his hand clanked softly on the wooden floor as he set it down. The rings jingled. Each sound struck a chord within Sesshoumaru. Something was definitely off about the staff as well.
A moment of distraction. Wind whipped to the right of him. He glided left. Hiraikotsu blazed past, inches from his body. But through his armor, he felt it. He stumbled, his landing unbalanced. Strength drained from him for an instant. Then returned a moment later. He blinked. He had felt like he had been wounded, a driving gash into his side so deep that he felt his muscles and organs shredding.
He panted lightly. The boomerang had not even hit him nor grazed him, but the energy surrounding it...then he could see. Squinting as a smirking taijiya caught the bone effortlessly and prepared to throw it again. Ripples of energy. Invisible, but tangible, like air beneath wings. And he felt it. Such a small thing that he would not have noticed if he had not been so alert, so high on adrenaline that he was preternaturally aware of himself, and everything around him, but a connection had been severed. It was a tiny thing, so easily overlooked, but it was important. And then he realized: The boomerang and its new abilities had been designed to cut through what ever bonds he still held to Kagome. That he could not allow.
-:- -:- -:-
Sesshoumaru did not retreat. He never retreated, he never ran from battle. He made tactical withdrawals. Thus, he tactfully withdrew from his match against a taijiya whom should have fallen to him with a mere glare. His power was unprecedented. So having to withdraw from a battle where the only wounds available to him would be the ones that he would least want to acquire, made him suspicious. Where did the houshi and taijiya obtain those abilities?
Growling to himself in a frustration that made him feel uncharacteristically inept, he flew back to his domain. Clearly, Kagome had put a bit more preparation into her flight than he had anticipated.
-:- -:- -:-
Soon after the Lord's arrival, Kirei found him in his study, an array of texts surrounding him. She sniffed disdainfully. She sauntered over to where he sat, poring over writings hundreds of years old, and in languages nothing less than a youkai lord could comprehend. She languidly spread her body over his desk in the most inviting way she could manage and smiled at him demurely. "Sesshoumaru-sama..." She purred, a desirous lilt in her voice. "I missed you."
Sesshoumaru waved her away carelessly. He had important research to do. How could mere ningens acquire such a power. There had been humans before who had possessed extraordinary ability, Midoriko and Kagome would be prime examples. But the taijiya had never once before exhibited an ounce of magical ability. Most spell weaving were cast by youkai of the higher order, and of humans in possession of spiritual energy. The taijiya had no spiritual energy whatsoever, he was sure. Had something akin to the Shikon fallen into their hands? Magical objects had been known to grant temporary powers, but nothing on a precise enough level as what the Hiraikotsu had done to him. It had torn open his youkai powers and extracted a piece of the bond that he still held over Kagome, but that was all. Then his energy had recombined into its whole, without damage, but that piece was gone, destroyed, and only by the sheer presence of the weapon.
He had to find out what could do that. Once that was accomplished, her 'friends' would be out of his way, and Kagome would once again reside within the castles walls, where she belonged.
Kirei frowned, before her expression smoothed. She slid off the table, walking sensuously around him, hips swaying. Idly, she reached out one hand to caress Sesshoumaru's lean form.
Petal light touches on select areas. One arm draped itself across his shoulder, around his neck. Fingers brushed against his collarbone.
She lowered her head, her lips barely touching his ear. "I missed you Se-sshou-ma-ru-sa-ma." She enunciated as she rotated her hips against his form. "Didn't you miss me in the slightest?" She simpered. Upon seeing no response from the creature she had been trying to seduce, she stood huffing. "I don't understand what you find so important about that ningen," she spat distastefully, "but it is a crime in our society to ignore your future mate for something you have already discarded. You have made your choice already. My father has already accepted your request to have been my suitor. Do NOT embarrass myself, or yourself, by chasing after some ex-priestess. Our kind have laws against it. I thought you'd be youkai enough to honor them." Her yellow eyes narrowed as Sesshoumaru's icy gaze rose slowly to meet hers.
Carefully, silently, he folded the document he had been reading and set it aside. "Out." He hissed.
Kirei felt more than saw the power. The power that radiated off Sesshoumaru, unchecked anger, rage. She had overstepped the boundary somewhere, but she could not fathom when. She faltered a moment, in fear. Then, she regained her distasteful expression. She regarded him haughtily, ignoring the frosty glare he graced her with. He wouldn't hurt her. It would reflect badly in youkai society if he did. He cared too much about maintaining the honor of his family than to act recklessly violent upon his chosen future mate.
Lips twisting in malicious victory, she smirked. "Chase all you want, Sesshoumaru. In the end, you'll only look the fool. I'll be in my bedchambers when you come to your senses and see that I am your only future." She spun around, and with a seductive tilt to her stride, left the room.
Sesshoumaru seethed at the retreating demoness' backside. Impudent bitch. Did she think she knew what was best for this Sesshoumaru? Presumptuous. Still, something rang true in her words, and that irritated him. It irritated him more than he could imagine. Kagome should not matter so much. She was his possession, nothing more. So why was he expending so much energy in trying to reclaim her? Why did he prize his connection with her, holding it above his pride? Why was he pursuing her instead of laying with his chosen female, a female that he had hand picked as to be the most suitable for himself. It was puzzling and frustrating. His confusion birthed a seething anger. Silently, he stalked outside, hoping to run into some poor fool on which he could exercise his anger upon.
-:- -:- -:-
"Kagome? Are you alright?"
She started, before calming herself when she realized who had just walked in. "Yeah. I'm ok, I think..."
"That doesn't sound too reassuring." He sat down beside her, idly looping an arm around her body.
She blushed lightly, but as she knew he was blushing too, she held back a laugh. "It's...this is going to take a little getting used to, you know?" She voiced her concern, peering at her reflection in the pool of water. She raised a hand, rubbing at her mark absently. It had become a habit to her, especially recently. The mark would burn every once in a while, alerting her to his anger, his displeasure. She would wince whenever he seemed to get out of hand. She could still feel their intimate connection, though she had tried to block it.
It was his blood in her veins that also leant him control over her life. If he so wished it, she would have no choice but to return to him. But not once had he made that mental command. She would have fought it anyway. She couldn't return to him, ever. It was too late.
Besides, he had already made his choice. She had asked him what he wanted. He told her, without hesitation. There was nothing else to be done. With only half a connection, she was sure she could fight off any command he would try to make, though she also knew, he wouldn't. He had no reason to many any commands; he had chosen another over her.
"Kagome." A soft voice whispered comfortingly into her ear. "Just forget about it. Don't worry yourself needlessly, you'll only make yourself ill again." He chastised gently.
She nodded mutely.
"It's in the past, and so is he. There's no way he can bother us now, not here. You're safe. He cannot reach you here."
She nodded again.
"...You still worry, but I'll protect you. I swear on my life, Kagome. I would die for you."
Tears welled up, dripping messily down her front. He wiped them away with a gentle motion. "I wouldn't regret it either, Kagome. You deserve some happiness in this lifetime."
She shook her head. No one should have to die for her. Not if she could help it. Regardless of what he said, he would still come. There was no place on earth she could run. His mark would prevent it. She whimpered. It was like being branded. She was marked. Where could she go as to not put her friends in further danger?
-:- -:- -:-
A month passed, going by so slowly it had felt like years. Sesshoumaru had not known that Kagome had left during the three months he had spent consorting with Kirei, but he had sensed there had been something awry. Now he possessed the knowledge that she was gone, and that made things more painful. He actually found himself missing the times when he would return to the castle, her magic crackling in the air, and her warm scent wafting through the hallways. He had been secure in the knowledge that she would always be there, and he had taken it for granted. When he had told her of his choice, he had subconsciously assumed that she would have stayed. He couldn't see her as being anywhere else but with him.
Initially, when he had been broached by the subject of bonding, he had been against it. A symbiosis with a species he most reviled? Who wouldn't be disgusted. But, he had also seen the necessity of it. Kagome had to be bound to someone of equal or higher standing, and Inuyasha simply wasn't strong enough. So, they had been bound, although almost unwillingly, to each other. They killed Naraku. Then, instead of releasing each other like they should have, for some reason, he returned to his abode with her in tow.
Essentially, it was his fault that things had gone as far as they had. He had no explanation to why, but the moment the battle ended, he saw no reason to release her. She never once complained, so he had thought nothing of her wants. It had been a bit awkward at first, but weeks passed without them doing irreparable damage to each other or to his property, and he had been satisfied. She seemed to settle in, and had not asked for anything else than what he had given her, though he had lavished upon her amply. She was given a station higher than servants, but she was not regarded as a consort or mistress. In truth, he didn't really know what she was. A companion? What was Higurashi Kagome to him?
-:- -:- -:-
Wheezing breaths.
"Kagome?"
Hacking coughs.
"Kagome?!"
A gasp.
"Kagome!"
A shriek.
-:- -:- -:-
His halls were silent. His home was empty. His abode had always been a cold dark place. It might have been crafted from the finest of materials and youkai magic, but it lacked. It was just a house, a place he spent his nights when he was not traversing his land. Kagome had made it live.
Without Kagome's brightness, her warmth and magic, it was a shell.
Kirei was sinfully gorgeous, but she was vain and malicious. Her tongue was sharp and shrill with a barbed temper. More often than not, she was ruthlessly commanding his servants in a manner that treated them more ill than even he had. Kirei had little respect for those below her station, regardless of their power. She lacked the tact required in political arrangements, but flirted with any high-standing youkai that breathed. It was strange that he had not notice her glaring faults earlier. He could no longer comprehend what had made her so desirous to him in the first place. Her very presence grated on his nerves.
He wanted her gone.
-:- -:- -:-
"Kagome, are you alright?"
Silence.
"Please, Kagome, just say something. I know you can here me." A gentle hand laid down upon an unmoving shoulder. "Does it hurt? Can you breathe alright?"
Shallow, desperate breaths answered the question.
"Let me help you...Please Kagome."
Silence.
"Kagome? ...Exchange the bond with me..."
-:- -:- -:-
Sesshoumaru looked down at his claws. Kirei had finally left. Her father had thrown a fit when he had dissolved the engagement. Sesshoumaru silently ceded him a north eastern region of his lands. He had known that the man had desired those lands. Sesshoumaru had no use for them anyhow. It was a small price to pay to rid his home of Kirei's detestable presence.
He sat, contemplating. Once upon a time, the silence of his home had satisfied him, and he would want for nothing more. Then he had been bound, and the presence of another had been thrust upon him. At the time, he had wished for nothing else than freedom. Once granted, he had thoroughly ruined it. He had come out losing far more than he had entered with. He no longer wished for the freedom of himself. He wanted the freedom that Kagome seemed to carry with her, even when they had been bound. She made it bearable, and had made his home more livable.
He didn't want this kind of freedom.
-:- -:- -:-
It's too late.
-:- -:- -:-
"Where is she?" Sesshoumaru demanded coldly, his claws wrapped tightly about the taijiya's neck as he held her pinned to the wall.
Cinnamon eyes glared back at him defiantly.
His grip tightened. He slammed her into the wall forcefully. "Where is she?!"
Sango snarled, looking for all the world the wild beast that should be Sesshoumaru. "I'll never tell you, monster!"
He smashed her against the wall once more. "Where is she?!" He repeated angrily.
"Go to hell!"
It took all of his strength to not kill her there. She knew where Kagome was, and he was not about to waste one of the few leads he had. The claws on his other hand flexed once before ramming through the wood millimeters from her head. The wood hissed and bubbled and his toxins dripped from his outstretched claws. The pungent odor of noxious, burning wood filled the air. His golden eyes bored into her insolent gaze unblinkingly. "Tell me."
"Never."
His hands constricted. Her eyes widened for a moment. He did not release her until she passed out. He hadn't killed her, but he had come damn close. The monk had already been knocked out. He sat, slumped against a wall across the room where he had collided with it during their brief battle. The pair had fought him like before, but this time, Sesshoumaru had been more focused. He had blazed through their attacks and quickly disabled their weapons. Hiraikotsu lay in broken pieces outside the hut. The houshi's staff was stabbed into a wall.
The monk had been simple enough to dispatch as he had simply swatted the man away. The taijiya had fought with far more recklessness and vigor. He had finally snagged her by the throat in an effort to force answers from her. His attempts had been in vain.
Sesshoumaru had returned to the hut to recover Kagome once more, but in a less forceful manner. He had planned on requesting her to return, rather than simply taking her. Imagine his ire when he realized that not only had she not been there, she had not even visited the place in months. It had been a ruse they had kept up, pretending to house Kagome while protecting her true location. Her magic had seeped into the room she had stayed in, enhancing the houshi's and taijiya's abilities, but her presence was missing. The pair had carefully crafted Kagome's lingering magic into their weapons in an effort to try to make a way to free Kagome, even without Sesshoumaru's consent. They had been successful in creating them, but they had not been strong enough to use them to the best of their abilities. Kagome's powers had become potent, even to her friends.
-:- -:- -:-
The wolves glared at him with simple and unadulterated expressions of hate. Wolves had always been animalistic creatures, thinking with their emotions rather than with their brains. This pack seemed even more so. He ignored the lot of them. His eyes focused on only their leader, the only one who seemed to possess the modicum of intelligence required to answer his question. "Where is she?"
Cobalt eyes widened a moment before he threw himself forward with a cry of outrage. Sesshoumaru hastily dodged to the side. Like Kagome's friends, the wolf too had somewhere gained a strange power. The wolf was definitely faster than before, but instead of reckless, energy consuming attacks, the wolf's kicks were far more precise. He was aiming for something particular.
One foot came hurtling toward with unexpected speed. With the kick too close, and no room to evade, Sesshoumaru deflected the hit. He hissed in surprise as the shock of purification raced down his arm. He retreated a few steps, clutching his hand. Then the pain vanished. He inspected his arm, there was no mark, but he had felt as if something had been ripped from him. He snarled. "Wolf, you will tell me the location of Kagome."
Kouga smirked, his eyes glittering darkly. He was far faster than Sesshoumaru had expected. With the loss of the shikon shards, he should have been no match for the inuyoukai, but he was. He was stronger. He was faster. He was a threat, and he knew it. He hoped Sesshoumaru would realize it in time too. He wanted to see the surprise on the Tai's face as he shredded that last connection between them. He just had to hit that spot, just once, and Kagome would be free. "I'll never tell." He grinned.
The frustration was unimaginable. A pressure grew in his chest. The lower creatures denied him. It didn't matter that a smaller part of him defended their existence. It didn't want him to kill them. But He wanted their deaths. He wanted their blood running across his claws. He wanted to see their faces contorted in pain as they writhed in the agony he inflicted upon them. He hurt and he wanted them to share in his pain. He was angry and confused. And somewhere in him, clinging on a tenuous hold, a small light was withering.
-:- -:- -:-
Kagome screamed. Her teeth gnashed, chewing on her lips, tongue, and the insides of her cheeks indiscriminately. Blood flowed through her teeth, dribbling down her chin. She cried. Oh, how she cried. Her tears burned scalding pathways down her cheeks. Images flashed through her mind. Pictures of the past and the present. Of blood and death. Of pain. They weren't her memories, but they were so real and vivid before her eyes. She clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her screams. They escaped from her throat in a mass of gurgled blood. Red slithered between her clenched fingers.
A strong hand held hers, slowly removing her hand from her mouth as the screams died down. Red smeared across her pale skin. She coughed. Blood spattered to the floor. Tears fell, the clear salty drops mixing with her crimson blood.
Her heart pounded, pulling on an invisible thread. It tugged, straining taut, then relaxing with every beat. She held a hand to her chest. She wanted to go...she wanted to stop the bloodshed, stop the pain. She clawed at her chest. He was hurting, and through their one-sided bond, she could feel his pain, but in no way could she send him the comfort he needed. Then it faded. The pulling ceased. The pain, the pressure, it lessened. She felt the connection strain until it thinned to the thickness of a single filament. And it was gone. Had it snapped? Had it finally broken? Was she free? She removed her hands from his gentle grip, lifting them to her own neck. Fingertips brushed against her skin, spreading the crimson where she touched. Red painted her skin, dancing patterns in dark rivulets. No, she wasn't free. The mark was still there. Their connection still existed. She was still branded as his, but, now her mind was hers. He was no longer a lingering presence. In some small way, she was free.
-:- -:- -:-
Even smeared with blood, the wolf grinned triumphant. White claws tightened around his neck. A bloody cough stained the impeccable whiteness of the silken sleeve.
Crimson eyes stared down at their prey. Yet still, cobalt eyes glowed.
Kouga laughed. As strained as he was by grievous injuries, and as unharmed as the Taiyoukai was before him, he knew that he had come out the victor. He had hit his mark. And somewhere, in the bloodlust clouded mind of the inuyoukai, Sesshoumaru knew it too. And it angered him.
-:- -:- -:-
"Kagome..."
-:- -:- -:-
Kagome shot up from her bed, panting. A presence she had not felt in weeks beckoned to her. She shivered, drawing her blankets around her thinned form tighter. "No..." She curled up. "No..." She whimpered. "Please, just leave me alone."
"Kagome."
Frightened, she peered above her coverings. The shadow that blotted out the moonlight stood in a stark silhouette.
"Kagome." He knelt. "I found you."
"No...No...Please, go away."
"I've found you. I won't leave until you return to me." He whispered.
"I can't... Leave."
A pale hand raised, cupping her cheek. It slid down her neck, parting her shirt, until it rested upon his mark. "I will not leave you."
She recoiled. "Don't touch me!" Kagome shivered at the loss of warmth, but she couldn't allow herself to relax in his grasp. She would take too much comfort in his hold, and she wouldn't find the strength to leave him. She couldn't allow that to happen. She wrapped herself tighter. "No..."
"Kagome."
She didn't move.
"Look at me, Kagome."
She trembled.
He sighed. He reached out, capturing her face and forcing her to face him. Her eyes clenched shut. His lips thinned. "Did you think you could escape me?" He asked irately. "Did you think you could leave?!" He demanded, his voice rising.
"No...Please..." She begged. "Leave me."
"I cannot do that." He said, his voice suddenly calmed. "You had no right to leave. You could not. I will not allow it." He gripped her hair, wrenching it to the side, exposing the darkened mark on her pale flesh. "You are still mine."
She cried out as he bit her, struggling fruitlessly.
Razor fangs bit deeply into her tender flesh. She fell under the magic of the bond instantly, going limp in his arms. As the hot blood flowed down his throat, his eyes changed. Color faded as red engulfed his vision. Slowly, he retracted his fangs, licking his lips. He moved so slowly, each movement precise, calculated. He maneuvered her in his arms, until the full shape of her face filled his vision.
"Kagome..." He breathed, his voice low, husky. His tongue flicked out to lap at his bite. Her blood...it was so much more than he had remembered. He couldn't explain it, but it appealed to the beast within him. It made her so much more attractive to him. Her outer appearance had not changed, but her scent made his blood boil. He wanted her. "Your blood has changed."
Blue eyes snapped to a brilliant sapphire as she came to herself. She pushed away violently. Sesshoumaru was thrown back, surprise clear on his face as he was slammed into a wall. He stood up as she cowered in her sheets. Where had that strength come from? "Kagome."
Her eyes widened. She shied backwards. He almost felt a pang of regret for what he had done. But she was his. She had no right to leave. He bent down, once more. His hands wrapped around her face, cupping her cheeks from either side. He raised a claw before her eyes. Her blue eyes tracked its movements curiously, fearfully. He waved it once, then angled his head, and slit his neck with it. She gasped. He bent her head towards his neck, stopping her lips millimeters from the wound he had caused. "Drink." He commanded softly. It had to be voluntary. He couldn't force her.
She was tempted. The bond between them beckoned her to complete it. But she couldn't. "Noo..." She pushed against him again, forcing him backwards. She only managed to push him back a few steps, but it should have been a move impossible for her ningen strength. His eyes narrowed. She stumbled away. She turned clumsily, scrambling to get away. He was in front of her in an instant. Sapphire orbs stared at him fearfully. She screamed.
-:- -:- -:-
A most unwelcome sight greeted Sesshoumaru upon his return to his castle. Kirei was lounged on cushions in the waiting room. He scowled. What did she want?
Kirei looked up, smiling. "Sesshoumaru-sama," she purred, "you don't look happy to see me."
"Get out." He commanded sharply.
She pouted. "Sesshoumaru-sama...don't you want me anymore? You chase after that girl. You buy off my father into breaking our engagement. Why? You chose me, Sesshoumaru-sama. Out of all the available females, I was the only one you chose. I was the first female you have ever expressed an interest in. I believe I deserve an explanation. Do you no longer desire me?"
He glared at her coldly. He sniffed dismissively. "I made a mistake."
The shriek which she emitted was shrill and grating. She howled her outrage. Sesshoumaru's steps were unfaltering, and as much as she vocalized her displeasure, she couldn't raise a hand against him. With the engagement dissolved, killing her now would break no laws, and she knew it. She also knew that she didn't have the strength to fight him. But she refused the believe that he would choose some girl, of a race he despised, over her. Youkai would die for a night with her. It was disgusting that a human would be more desirable than her.
Her eyes narrowed. "Does she have a hold over you? She has something on you, doesn't she? She's forcing you to do this! She's jealous of me! She's jealous that you love me and not her!! Isn't that it? Isn't it?!" Her voice increased in pitch and intensity with each groundless accusation. Her eyes were wild.
"Sesshoumaru! I know you love me!" Her voice dropped. She walked over to him. ""You love me. You love me." She repeated haltingly. "I know you do. You never went after any other female. Out of all of them, all of the females who throw themselves at your feet, you chose me. There had to be a reason. You loved me. I was the one you chose. I was special to you. I was the one you wanted. And I want you, Sesshoumaru. I love you Sesshoumaru. Don't throw away a good thing. You know that I am the best choice. I am your choice." She raised her hands tentatively, placing her cheek against his chest. She traced circles with her fingers on his haori. "You love me." She whispered. "Choose me again, and I'll get rid of her. Whatever she has on you, whatever spell she cast, I'll get rid of it. I'll make sure you never see her again. Just choose me." She murmured into his ear.
Sesshoumaru threw her off him. "Get out." He ground out once more. Then he turned heel and left her standing alone in the waiting room. He didn't see the dark scowl marring her features. The way her lips twisted. Her eyes glittered with dark promise. "I'll make you see." She vowed.
-:- -:- -:-
"Kagome!"
"Don't touch me!!" She cried. She trembled. She curled up, rocking back and forth. "Don't touch me." She murmured. "Just don't...don't...touch me."
His outstretched hand drew back slowly. "Okay." He placed his hand on his lap. "Alright. Kagome, I won't touch you. I won't hurt you." He took a deep breath. "Are you okay?"
"No. No, I'm not. I have to leave. Let me go! Let me go! I-I'll only bring you trouble!" She lunged forward, clutching his shirt. "Let me go."
"I can't do that Kagome. You are all that's left. I can't let you go."
"Why not?" He asked.
"I love you. I would give my life for you. I have nothing else. I know you don't love me. I don't think you can love anyone else like you had loved Inuyasha, but I'm willing to live with that. Exchange the bond with me, Kagome. It's the only thing that'll set you free from him. Bind yourself with me, please."
"It's already too late. You know that. If I did it now, it would kill you." She begged, eyes searching his, asking him to understand.
"I'm willing to accept death." He stared back unflinchingly.
Her eyes widened in horror. "No! I won't let you!" She recoiled, as if burned. Not another death. Not another one. A stain on her conscience. Another sin. "NO!!" Energy blasted outward, dark and twisted. It wasn't like the brilliant blue light of pure magic she normally possessed. It was warped, streaked with crimson, dyeing it violet where it mixed. It slammed into him, forcing him against the wall, holding him immobile.
The spells holding her image faded. She walked toward him, eyes glowing. Her expression was chillingly calm. His eyes took in the image of ephemeral beauty that she had become. She was a beauty that no human should ever witness. So pure, like an angel. But drawn by experiences she should never have had.
Fallen.
The barriers he had put up shattered under the force of her power. He sagged against the wall. He couldn't hold on to her. He only wanted to protect her, to save her, like she had him. "Don't go, Kagome. Please stay."
Her expression flickered, wary, wondering. She heard his plea. But she didn't want him to die because of her.
-:- -:- -:-
She had moved again. It was a pathetic attempt, Sesshoumaru could tell. She had barely tried to hide. A small hut on the outskirts of a village. The villagers knew her as a healer who could do all but bring the dead back to life. She could salve wounds, cure disease, and even reattach cut off limbs if they were fresh enough. He had watched her for days. Her healing ability was unnatural, but not impossible for the extraordinary miko that she was. She seemed to be settling here...with that male. He couldn't allow that. She didn't have any other home than with him. He wouldn't ruin her business though. She wouldn't like it. But that didn't mean he couldn't...sabotage it...
-:- -:- -:-
Kagome closed her eyes, releasing a sigh of exasperation. She couldn't quite tell what happened, but it was weird. An earthquake? No, she would have felt it. Still, it was hard to explain how in the world, the trees lining the only pathway through the forest to her hut, would rip out of the ground and fall across the road, blocking it for all who needed aid. She grimaced. She didn't want to move. She had built her hut so deeply in the forest for the express purpose of solitude. But she would not turn away those who sought her for help. She had built a reputation and a prosperous trade by it. She barely accepted any payment, but she was able to get by with the items they offered.
Now it would look like she would have to go to the village if she were to help them. She looked at the trees sorrowfully. They were great trees. Tall. Strong. They reminded her of the greatness of the Goshinboku. It was one of the reasons she had moved into this particular forest.
She didn't want to move again. She didn't want to leave the forest. It had become her sanctuary. She had spent weeks with Sango and Miroku, but she couldn't help feeling out of it, like she didn't belong. So, despite their protests, she left, saying that she needed some time alone. Kouga had found her as she wandered roads aimlessly, traveling from village to village. He had welcomed her into his pack, and his wolves couldn't be more delighted, Ginta and Hakkaku particularly. Some of the lesser wolves, the youkai, the youkai who could not take a human form, had been more wary of her, but they had warmed up eventually. When her magic began to taint their caves, she had left, abruptly. She felt bad about leaving without warning, but it was better. She didn't want to accidentally purify any of them while she was still in transition.
She went to live among humans, of people unaware of her past and her power. Those who had been untouched by the evil of Naraku. She had found a place, and quickly discovered, that she could never escape her past. It caught up with her, sneaking upon her unawares, and ensnaring her in his comforting presence. She had gone with him, until she had been found by Sesshoumaru. She had tried to leave him again, and he had followed. He wouldn't leave her, and she wasn't sure she wanted him to.
"Kagome, what do you want to do?"
She sighed. She was tired, and running out of options. It seemed that she wasn't even allowed to live a normal life. Things kept happening. "I don't know, Bankotsu. I really don't."
-:- -:- -:-
A gentle kiss on pliant, soft lips.
-:- -:- -:-
"Ah!" Her neck ached. It felt sore, like a burn. She touched it tentatively. Her fingertips brushed what looked like raw skin. She stared at her hand. "Blood?" Then she felt it. Anger.
-:- -:- -:-
Alone, in the dark, Kagome sat in silence. The presence entered, she barely acknowledged it. "He's gone now." She sat with her legs bent beneath her at an angle. "I'll live alone, but I don't know what else I can do. Will you leave me alone now? Can I live now?" Her voice trembled.
"Not here." He answered.
She stared at the wall, eyes refusing to meet his. Fear held her rigid. He would have killed Bankotsu. She knew it. She sent him away. She was alone in her hut now. It was cold and dark. She didn't bother lighting any fires. Neither of them needed any light.
His footsteps were silent, but she knew where he was.
"If I go with you, will you leave me alone?" She asked.
"That would defeat the purpose of you living with me."
Kagome kept her mouth shut. She decided to not bring up the point that he had barely acknowledged her when she had stayed with him. She nodded mutely. She would go with him. Perhaps then, he would leave her alone, and those that she loved. She had seen too much of their blood through his eyes already.
Seeing her nod, he extended his hand. She took it.
-:- -:- -:-
Kirei frowned. He had brought that thing back with him. She hadn't expected that. He had degraded himself. It was humiliating. He should be the tall, proud Taiyoukai, despising humans, and instilling fear in all lesser beings, with her by his side. Instead, he spent his nights in trees, spying on some human he had thrown away.
-:- -:- -:-
"What are you doing?"
Kirei smiled. Her hips swayed. Her waist rotated. Her movements were serpentine designed to entice. Her scent had been sweetened, bordering on aphrodesiatic. She sauntered toward him. Her arms slithered around him, her body sliding across his. She pressed against him, feeling the friction, spreading her scent. She moaned as she felt his body begin to react. She gasped. She had missed this, his heat. Her hands slipped into his haori. "Sesshoumaru-sama..."
The doors slid open. Blue eyes took in the scene. Kagome blinked once, then stepped back and closed the door.
Kirei smirked. "Looks like your pet knows her place." She murmured, moving to nibble on his ear. She was thrown back abruptly. Startled, she looked up into crimson eyes.
He glared at her and growled. She understood the message with crystal clarity. Unless she left his sight in that moment, he would slaughter her where she stood. Utterly humiliated and fearful, she fled.
Sesshoumaru stalked over to the sliding door and wrenched it open. Kagome was no where to be seen. He followed her scent. He found her in a room, sitting in the corner, curled up with a book. She didn't appear to have noticed his entrance, but he knew that she was aware of him. There was no way that she couldn't be, with his mark on her neck.
He didn't know why he was so bothered, but when she had walked into the room, he felt like his heart had stopped. He didn't want her seeing him like that. He didn't understand it. The fact that she acted like she didn't care only made him feel worse. It was an uncomfortable feeling, and he hated it. A dull aching...that was followed by the stabbing of a million needles through his chest. "Kagome."
She didn't look up.
"Kagome."
Nothing.
"Kagome!"
She flinched. Blood trickled down her neck. She sighed, putting her book down. "What do you want?" She asked absently.
"Do you not care?" He demanded, seething. "You've changed, Kagome."
"So what?" She asked, petulantly.
"I don't like it." He replied, immediately wincing inwardly. He sounded like a child.
"Then send me away! Let me go! Kami, it's the only thing I ask." She gripped the book tightly, staring at a far wall, unblinking.
"No."
She reopened her book and began to read once more.
Feeling irately like he was being dismissed, he growled.
"There's nothing more to say." She replied.
"Do not ignore me."
She turned her eyes to him, meeting his gaze.
Such a response could hardly be called a victory. Kagome's gaze was blank and uncaring, apathetic. For whatever reason, she had changed so much, and he refused to believe that it was somehow his fault. Though, somewhere, in the back of his mind, a tiny part of him noticed that they had somehow switched roles. He had become the emotional one vying for the attention of the other. He squashed that bit mercilessly. He shouldn't have to try to get her attention. He should already possess it, full and undivided.
So, in his uncomprehending frustration, he snatched the book from her with one hand and hauled her to her feet with the other. It was all he could do to not swipe at her with his claws and force the answers from her the only way he knew how. What had changed? Why was she acting so peculiar? Why had her blood and scent changed? It was perplexing.
Her eyes became guarded when she noticed him sniffing her unconsciously. She shrank back slightly. Surreptitiously, her eyes slid over to the window, where a half-moon was rising. She seemed to gauge it for a moment, blinking. She felt Sesshoumaru's grip tighten when he noticed that the subject of her interest had switched. He resumed sniffing at her neck when she frowned at him.
There was something in her blood. He wanted... Some...thing...her blood... He shook his head vigorously. The scent of her blood was making him lightheaded and foolish. Finally he let her go, a tad forcefully as she stumbled backwards slightly. She stopped and leaned against the wall as he eyed her suspiciously. "What's changed?" He demanded.
Kagome turned to him with puzzled eyes. "I don't understand. I haven't done anything." She paused, weighing a question in her mind. "Why did you send Kirei-sama away?"
"It is none of your concern." He answered sharply, somewhat disturbed by her use of the honorific. It didn't sound right, referring to the bitch as a higher.
She nodded. "It is also none of your concern what is different about me." She replied smartly. "Our stations have changed since I was last here."
"I informed you that your place would not change, even if I had taken her as a mate."
Kagome stared at him, her blue eyes piercing. "It has changed." She stated. She reached out, taking the book back and wriggled from his grasp. Then she left the room, presumably for the quarters he had allotted her. She was being needlessly difficult; this he noticed. Was she trying to infuriate him, or had she always been so obstinate and he had been oblivious to it in the past?
-:- -:- -:-
Kagome rested her head against the cool wood of the wall of her room and grimaced. She panted, eyes clenched shut. The book slipped from her numb fingers. It was taking more effort than she had anticipated. She had to get him to remove the mark. Her time was gone, but she only lingered because of the mark. She had to get him mad, furious at her, but not completely enraged. She didn't want him to attempt to murder her. No, that would make things...awkward. But she had to make her presence unbearable enough that he would want her gone at all costs.
She had thought she had been successful with that Kirei stint. It was a sore subject to Sesshoumaru, she had noted. She figured it had been the right button to push. Alas, she had been wrong. At least she had been able to escape before she completely fell to pieces. She didn't think she could keep the facade up much longer anyway.
-:- -:- -:-
Blood. Blood everywhere. Oh Kami...time was gone. Gone! Why did she have to linger? It hurt...so much...
-:- -:- -:-
An inhuman howl wrenched through his mind. Sesshoumaru paused in the riffling of his paperwork. It was subdued, that he could tell, like it was being muffled by objects or distance. The faint sound disturbed him greatly. The pain it caused to him was almost physical. He shuddered.
-:- -:- -:-
Tears came unbidden. This was it. She would go mad soon. Insanity had been creeping up on her for the better part of the week. She had seen things that weren't there. Heard things that weren't there. Felt things...
She did miss Sesshoumaru. At times, he was so close, all she had to do was reach out.
Kagome wanted nothing more than to go back to the way things were, when she was blissfully oblivious of the depths of her feelings, or even the strength of the bond. It hurt her, physically and emotionally, every moment of every day. The worst thing was, he didn't even know what he was doing. The longer that this went on, the worse it would become. Soon, it would be too much for either of them. Kagome would lose control, and they would both die.
-:- -:- -:-
Sesshoumaru was shocked to see Kagome standing in his room. She had never once set foot in his rooms before, unless it had been at his request, and even then, it had only been that one time. She stood near the wall farthest from the entrance, peering out the large window he had always kept open. Filmy curtains billowed in the gentle breeze, giving her an ethereal look. She stared up at the waxing moon, barely caring that she was dressed in only a nightgown, standing out in the cold.
She turned slowly when it did not seem like Sesshoumaru would be the first to break the silence. She looked at him in abject misery. He felt a pang of guilt, and brushed it aside. She looked mournful then, and truly sorrowful, but he didn't know why.
Her eyes were glassy, and her mouth was creased in a straight line. She was so pale and thin. She hadn't been eating. He had noticed it before, but he hadn't paid it much mind. It seemed after the night he had requested her to release him, she had ceased to eat much at all. He regretted breaking the bond with her. He missed feeling the strange flashes of her human emotion. They were so varied and possessed such depth. Her emotions were like shades of color, adding new light to his vision. He had felt blind when it was gone. It had become darker still, now that he had known what he had lost.
"Let me go."
So softly her voice had spoken, he had barely heard it.
He shook his head in the negative. Surely she should know by now what his reply would be. Did she think that if she kept asking, his answer would change? It was like him asking her to renew the bond. Always asking, always refused. It was a cycle he wished to break, but she would have to be the one to do it.
"Why not?"
Ah, this was new. She had never asked for his reasons before. No doubt she would not be pleased with the answer, but he was not one to lie. "Because you belong to me."
She paused. "Is this the only reason?"
"Why else?"
Her eyes darkened. "I see." She replied in a soft voice, eerily calm. He didn't truly care after all. I will have to make him let me go...
She attacked without warning, catching him off guard. Claws sprouted from her fingertips, slashing into the wall as he dodged. His eyes widened. Her expression was feral, desperate. Her aura grew. He could sense it now, huge, twisted, bordering on madness. What happened to her?
"Let me go." She growled in that calm manner. It was chilling, and so unlike her.
"Tell me what happened."
"Let me go."
He dodged another wild swipe of her claws. She was fast! But she was untrained. Her movements jerky, sloppy. He snatched up a flailing wrist in passing, releasing it suddenly when her aura lashed out at him, burning them where their skin connected. She blurred.
Sesshoumaru blinked. Was that...a demon?
She was moving again. Jumping. Evading her was becoming more difficult. She was quickly becoming more accurate in her attacks.
He almost winced when he moved too slowly. A claw grazed his cheek.
"Let me go." An ongoing mantra.
"No." His monosyllabic answer seemed to send her into a frenzy. She cried out in anguish and leapt at him once more. He ducked beneath her and rammed his claws upward into her stomach. She floated frozen in midair a moment. A bloody cough, staining his silks crimson.
Kagome crashed to the floor.
Sesshoumaru stood over her, sneering. "Reveal yourself, demon." He snarled. Deception the whole time. She hadn't been Kagome. But then, who was she and why was this youkai impersonating her.
She stared at him from the floor. Fangs glittered in a terrible grin as the concealment spells were shed. Laying in a crumpled heap at his feet was a gorgeous demoness. Her long inky hair curled about her body in graceful waves. Her eyes glowed an icy blue. She had not markings or demonic adornments, but he could feel her youki resonating with his. It fit him so well, but she was not Kagome.
"Let me go." She murmured, her eyes glinting madly. He'll do it now. I'm not human. He's disgusted. He'll do it. He'll do it. I'm not Kagome anymore.
Sesshoumaru allowed himself a disgusted snort. Who had he been pursuing so foolishly this whole time if it had not been Kagome? It would explain why she had been acting so strangely. Why her blood and scent was different. This female was not her. "Go." He commanded sharply. He wanted her out of his sight.
Kagome's eyes widened. She stood shakily, grinning. "Say it again." She whispered.
He scowled at her. What was with this insane youkai. The instant the word was on his lips, she snatched up his hand. Realization grappled him, but too late. "Leave!" The word escaped him as she touched his fingers to her throat. He felt a tremor. The mark vanished.
Kagome staggered backwards. Finally! She gave him a look of utter gratitude before toppling over the side of his balcony.
"KAGOME!"
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The taijiya sat in chains in his dungeon. She turned her head to wipe her mouth on the sleeve of her torn kimono. Sesshoumaru hadn't exactly been forgiving when he finally discovered Kagome's condition. He no doubt wanted answers that Kagome would not give. She smirked as the youkai glided silently into the chamber. He looked absolutely furious.
"So koinu, having problems?" She couldn't think of any term more derogatory to the Tai than a puppy. Sesshoumaru detested weak, helpless, stupid creatures.
He seethed silently.
Sango's smile spread. His frustration could only mean that Kagome was free! Kagome had left him and he was looking for her. He couldn't feel their bond. He couldn't use it against Kagome. Was her friend okay? Her heart soared. Kagome had to be okay!
"Tell me, what has Kagome been hiding this whole time? Why has her body changed? Why has she changed?" He asked quietly.
"So you've seen her youkai form?" Sango asked in a taunting voice. "She did it for you. Your blood changed her in ways none of us had expected. At first, she had tried to hide it from all of us. But when she began to weaken, we could tell. Your blood was forcing her body to change, transmuting her into a youkai.
"It battled with her holy powers. The more it progressed, the more her powers changed. She used illusions on herself to disguise her physical changes." Sango delighted in indulging this information. HE would finally see that it was all his fault. "Her powers grew strong, and she defeated Naraku. We didn't expect you to take her, though. She needed to be released, or she could no longer live as a human. We all knew it. Kagome had no desire to be youkai. She wanted to be normal. We thought that she would request release, or you would, and you would part ways. But, months passed without any sign of you releasing her. We became suspicious." Sango's eyes narrowed.
"Her transformation caused her great pain. It was a pain she hid from all of us, never once hinting how much she hurt. Doubtless you had no idea." She muttered before continuing. "It wouldn't be much longer until she couldn't change back, even if you had released her. The night you requested release, was the point of no return. It was the final night she could spend in partial transformation before your blood took over." Sango looked down.
It dawned on Sesshoumaru then, what Kagome had wanted to tell him that night. It was something that she had thought would please him. It was obvious that he was not in favor of housing a human in his house. If she were youkai, for whatever reason, it would save him many troubles. When he had dismissed her...she must have been crushed. She had lost her humanity that night, for nothing.
"We took her in. Her holy powers were leaking out at an incredible rate, being forced from her by youki. Miroku explained that since the Shikon had merged with her, its abilities were flowing through her powers, so anyplace she stayed would become concentrated with her power, and the power of the Shikon. We tried to protect her, but she left us as well, long before you came barging into our hut. We used that power, praying that it would become something we could use to free her. Miroku imbued our weapons with it. Kouga did somewhat the same, but he used himself as the magical medium." She frowned. "Wasn't enough, though. You still found her, brought her back. But, she's free now, isn't she? Kouga informed us that he had severed the connection between you and her. But you took her anyway. Then you saw her, and turned her away. I knew you would. You're heartless, and you would only kill her slowly anyways. You can't cage someone like Kagome." Sango's eyes took a fiery light. The loss of her family had traumatized her. She had never fully recovered, latching instead to a surrogate family she held onto with a death grip.
Sesshoumaru had listened to the ranting of the madwoman in silence. He stared at the floor. "What would have happened...if I had released her, of my own will?"
Sango blinked. "Your blood would have receded from her, and without her own human body, she would die. She can't live anymore without your blood." She answered puzzled.
I've killed her.
Sesshoumaru sliced through the chains and silently left the dungeon.
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He sat, staring at a broken body. Kagome was still youkai. She had no breath, but he refused to think that she was dead. He had rescued her body from the fall. She had fainted, and simply refused to wake up.
Tenseiga did nothing. Even as he commanded it, the fang remained silent.
There was too much magic involved. Conflicting powers had clouded the outcome. Kagome wasn't truly dead. She was sleeping.
He had been fighting her the whole time. It was her scent he had chased. It had been her powers that stood against him in the form of her friends. He had sent her away, and she was dying because of it. He had never wanted her to come to harm. He hadn't wanted her to leave.
Kagome couldn't die...
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Kouga stared at the castle. Kagome's friends had all perished to time. The castle still stood, though. Within it, Kagome herself was housed, viciously guarded by an insane youkai.
Before their deaths, the houshi and taijiya had mercilessly pursued the youkai, trying to get Kagome's body back. They had not been successful. He had tried to visit her himself, wanting to give her a proper burial. He hadn't even gotten through the front door before he was literally thrown from the property.
She slept on, never to awaken. Her body preserved by magic. Sesshoumaru allowed no one near her. The bond between them had never broken completely. They had not discovered until later that they had only fragmented the bond; making it worse. Tiny pieces of it floated within their individual souls, forever linking Sesshoumaru and Kagome, even in death. Driven to madness, Sesshoumaru refused to believe her dead. Instead, he kept her with him always, never allowing her to leave his sight. He convinced himself that one day, she would wake up, and on that day, he would never send her away. She would stay by his side, and all would be well.
Kouga shook his head. He pitied Sesshoumaru. The inuyoukai had been arrogant, selfish, and foolhardy. He hadn't deserved Kagome. No one, did truly. But Kagome hadn't deserved to be alone, either. Now she never would be.
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End
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SM: Yes, the end was rushed. About two-thirds of the way through this story, I was distracted by a movie I was watching. It was a good movie.