It Hurt by Beautiful Silent Death

It Hurt

It Hurt

A.N. Ok, My first attempt at a sad story. Only because I was just feeling the mood. I only like to show my dirty side. I'm like that. I am overly stressed and when I get that way....well....I write. I hope you enjoy! Review like always. Oh, I noticed my rating has dropped in the none sexual parts. I am sorry if you guys don't like the boring parts of The Arrangement. I will try to uplift them. *smiles* This is only a one-shot.

Disclaimer: I have already stated this over and over and over and over and over.....do I really have to tell you guys I DON'T OWN THEM!!!!!

He looked at her. She was paler than normal. He looked at her soft face. It still looked soft, only now when you touched it.......it felt like a fake plastic. Something that you would feel on dolls. Her skin, even though it looked like porcelain, was more fake and it looked of illness. Like someone on deaths bed but still alive.

It was sickening how they tried to make her look like she were just sleeping. I will give the makeup artist credit for a good try. Maybe if you closed your eyes you can see her as just sleeping. Her chest would still be moving in a slow raising and falling motion.

I guess what bothered me the most about it, was her coldness. It mirrored my own. My internal coldness. Only now it was on the outside of her. Her pale skin that at least looked soft was cold. I wanted it to be warm. Even hot like when she was alive and we would make love. Her skin could almost burn mine with the passion that we made.

She was a wonderful lover. Always knowing how to touch and caress me. How to make me hard with want. And now I cant have that. I cant have her teasing touch. I cant have her cries of ecstasy.

It hurt.

I want to see her eyes. They were a wonderful thing too. I wanted to feel her gaze on me. Her dark blue gaze. It always matched her deep blue highlights in her hair. I want to open her eyes. It is silly you know. To want to do that. They have sunken in her head. The make-up artist had to put cotton balls in her sockets so it would just look like she had her eyes closed. Like she would open up her eyes and look at you.

You know, they say that when you die your hair and nails still grow. I touch her hair. It is not as soft as it once was. Maybe the formaldehyde made it ruff. It must have done that with her skin as well, making it feel like plastic. I want to smell her wonderful smell. She always smelled of lavender and vanilla. I wanted to smell that again. I dare not do that, for I know she will not smell that way. She will smell like formaldehyde. The whole damn place smelled of it.

Her lips is what strikes me next. They were once so full and pink. Now they are sunken and pale. Even the lipstick on them looks fake. Couldn't that damn woman do a better job on her. I want my Kagome back. I want her to look like she was.

I look at her shoulders. They look slumped. She always looked proud and her shoulders were always squared and set. Now they have lost that proud look to them. I tried to make them look the way they did. She was kind of stiff. It scared me. So I stopped trying to move her. Her dark blue dress was a bit messed and I had to try to straighten it. It was an off the shoulder dress. If she was standing you wouldn't see her feet. The fabric was the only thing on her body that wasn't stiff. I made sure to get her this dress. Before she died, she wanted this dress. Every time we went to the mall, she would pass that store and stare at the thing. But she knew she couldn't wear it yet.

It would of look great on her form, it wasn't for the small swell of her stomach. It looked bloated and it made her look like she had put on a few pounds. She still looked beautiful in it. Damn dress. It will be the last thing I will ever get for her. I wanted to get her so much more. It was not like I couldn't afford it. I have all the money I could have ever wanted. She never liked spending more than she needed to. The room beside ours was the only thing she ever really put the money into. I didn't mind. She could of bought herself better clothing. More. She didn't want to spend that much.

"I will only be this big for a small amount of time, Sesshoumaru, why do I need to buy more clothing?"

It hurt.

I want her to be fussing at me again. I miss her voice.

I would listen to her hum at night when she couldn't sleep. She would look out the window and watch the night. She loved the night. Kagome was a creature of it. She was by no means evil. She was just dark like it. She could walk out into the night and light it up with her smiles. The dark angel. My dark angel is now forever in the dark.

I want to join her. I want to be with her. Maybe we can get to chose if we want to stay in paradise or to go back into the world to start all over again. Try to find each other again. It would be nice. But I cant join her yet. Not yet.

We met each other at a party that my father had thrown. She walked in the room and caught almost every eye there. It was me that walked up to her at first. I had to greet the guests that walked in. Kagome smiled up to me with the biggest and brightest smile I had ever seen. It wasn't long after that we started to see each other. She was the fun one. I was the stiff.

It was a nick name she gave me. Stiff. I didn't mind. I asked her to marry me about a year after seeing one another. She said yes immediately.

God I love her. What hurt the most was that I only told her that once. Only once. On our honeymoon. When we first made love. She would tell me that she loved me everyday. I would only smile at her, but she would always except it. Never did she complain that I didn't say it enough. Now I wish I could tell her I love her every damn moment that I didn't. Regret is a sad thing. You always feel it when the one you love is gone. Or too much time had passed and you cant replace it.

We have only been together for two years. Two wonderful years. I have at least one thing of her. One thing that I will always hold dear. No matter what else happens in this world.

"Here is your Mother. She is beautiful isn't she...."

The little baby opened his dark blue eyes and looked at his eternally sleeping mother. The only thing the tiny person held was her eyes. He had his father's looks and hair. Sesshoumaru held the tiny infant in his arms protectively. Kagome died giving birth. She hemorrhaged and lost too much blood before the doctors could do anything about it.

And it hurt.

It hurt with his every being.