It Was Raining That Day by Kura

It was raining

It Was Raining That Day

It was raining that day, the day that I first saw her radiant smile. She seemed to glow in the gloom of the rain, holding the hand of my half brother as they ran laughing into the house. They were soaked to the bone, she was shivering slightly, but I have never seen anyone happier than they seemed to be. I remember thinking about how foolish they were, to be so merry in their little world when there is really nothing to be happy about.

People around me whispered amongst themselves, voice coloured with envy as they gossiped about how in love they were. Love? What is love? Love is the notion of fools, when they have nothing else to grasp on to. Love is when you feel so insecure that you need to have someone and have someone need you. Love have no place in this world, this malicious world I live in. Love is the excuse of an enemy to get close, dark intent hidden behind a seductive smile. Love is what they feel when they see my wealth and my power. Love is the downfall of great rulers, destruction of empires, and the loss of sanity. What use is love?

They were over an hour late for the banquet, held in their honour, but they felt no guilt or shame for blundering in and dripping water all over the place. Though, an alluring faint blush did spread over her cheeks before my half brother dragged her upstairs to change. Another half-hour passed before they came back down, now dressed in acceptable attire. A hush swept through the hall as she glided down the grand staircase on his arms, regal as a queen yet alluring as a siren. The faint half-blush on her smooth cheeks added an air of innocence to her beauty. A mummer ran through the attending guests after a few moments of stunned silence, everyone wanted to know what this mysterious beauty was. Who was she, that hung on the arms of one of the heirs of the billionaire CEO of Taishou Corporations.

The banquet was held as their engagement party. Soon after their entrance, they apologized for their late arrival, stating that their car had broke down a few miles back and they had to walk the last stretch. Then they announced their engagement after four years of relationship, and their wedding date which was set in three months. Father loved the girl, he was positively beaming. As for me, I just did not care. I had never paid any attention to anyone, I especially tried to avoid my half-brother. I never forgave him and his mother for breaking up my family, forcing my mother to divorce and later died of heartbreak. That was probably why I had never even met the girl after four long years of being my half-brother's girlfriend.

It was raining that day, the day she forced me to notice her. After ignoring her for weeks, and generally making her life as miserable as I could with the few times I ran into her, she marched up to me and demanded some respect as my future sister-in-law. I merely leered at her and informed her that I only held the deepest contempt for my half-brother and anyone associated with him. She was clearly taken aback, her large expressive eyes staring up at me with innocent hurt.

She reeked of innocence, emanating it like a beacon in this world, this backstabbing and double-crossing world she has entered. Just being close to her made me uncomfortable. I wanted to tear apart the protective cocoon she was in, to show her the ugly truth of the world, to utterly corrupt her, to make her like me. I wanted to pull the angel down from her blinding pedestal into the dark miasma of this world, my world. I wanted to watch her drown, drown just like I did.

She did not give up though. If there was one thing I learnt about her, it was her tenacity. This lost angel of mine did not know the meaning of giving up. She tried again and again, invading my personal space quite a number of times, in her pursuit of my attention and, dare I say, respect. Did she not know that I held respect for nothing and no one? Not even myself?

Maybe I was drawn to her light, maybe I was tired of playing, maybe I was just tired. I allowed her to crack the walls of the fortress I had built around myself, I allowed her to get under my skin. Piece by little piece, she dug a hole in the wall big enough for her to crawl through, and crawl through it she did. Once she was in, there was no way to get her out. Another thing I learnt about her, was that she had the annoying tendency to grown on you like ticks. Once they latch on, good luck trying to remove them without a huge mess and much pain. Except, it was still possible to remove them. She, on the other hand, was impossible to remove, at least for me.

It was raining that day, the day she cried herself into an exhausted sleep in my arms. She showed up, soaked to the bone, rain and tears covered her face, on my doorsteps. She attached herself to me the second she saw me, latching on to my torso and soaking the front of my body with fresh tears and rain water.

I carried her to my sofa and held her. No words were exchanged that night, but no words were needed. She needed comfort and I gladly provided it to her. Maybe it was in that moment I saw her vulnerability, or in the moment she depended on me. Maybe it was the moment I held her in my arms, or maybe it was long before that. Maybe I had felt it the moment I saw her, but was just too caught up in my cynicism to notice it. No matter when it started, I felt the forgotten organ of my heart flutter that night.

We stayed in that position throughout the night. She slept fitfully in my arms, while I watched over her. In the morning she thanked me, and blushed becomingly when she apologized for burdening herself on me the night before. I did not want to ask, did not want to care, but I needed to know. I needed to know what had caused her tears, what had so utterly broken her to cause my strong angel to emotionally collapse.

I would have killed him if she had not begged me not to interfere. How dare he? How dare he hurt my angel like this by being with that bitch of an ex-girlfriend? That slut had only wanted him for his money, settling on the second best after failing to deceive me with her wiles and ugly body. A month before his wedding, he dare to so shamelessly succumb to her seduction in his office for all to hear and see? For my angel to see?

I should have at least broken a few vital appendages, so he would never want to think without his brain again, but she made me promise no to do anything at all. I did make her promise me that she would confront my half-brother, instead of suffering in silence for the sake of her loved ones as she was oft to do.

It was raining that day, the day I watched her cry tears of joy as she forgave my bastard half-brother for his sins. After a week of begging and crawling at her feet, of incessant gifts and apologies, of excuses upon excuses, she relented. I watched as they made up, and made out, in the middle of the street under the pouring rain. I remember clearly the sting of the raindrops falling on me, like the sharp points of a thousand daggers slicing me into pieces.

I should have told her then, but my pride was in the way. I could not bring myself to accept the fact that I wanted something that belonged to my brother, no matter how much he did not deserve her. Moreover, I could not bring myself to spoil her joyful moment. It was clear to the world, she loved him with all her being. And as distasteful as it was to me, I must admit that he loved her too.

The engagement was not called off. How ironic it was, for her to convince my half-brother to ask me to be his best man at their wedding. In the agonizing days of the wedding preparations, I watched as she tried on beautiful wedding dresses after another, asking my opinions on which one should she buy. Since the groom was not supposed to see her in the wedding dress until the wedding, I was stuck with the duty of accompanying her to choose her dress. I was not of much help though, she looked exquisite no matter what she was wearing. The elaborate dresses were not fit to grace her beautiful body.

Days after long agonizing days of watching her glow with joy at the prospect of her wedding, that dreaded day finally arrived. I watched from behind my half-brother as her father led her down to aisle to give her to him. In that moment, I had glimpses a tiny piece of heaven in her. I could swear that I saw translucent wings floating behind her glowing form, fluttering gently. In that moment, I felt the rage and pain of the damned as they watched heaven from hell, yearning and crawling to move even a miniscule fraction closer to its radiance.

Funny, that it was not raining that day, the day my fate was sealed.

It was raining that day, the day I sat as far away as I could on the limousine that drove them to the airport for their honeymoon. She had insisted on not using the Taishou Corporation's private plane, stating that the plane was for emergencies only and she did not want to cause any trouble. I wanted to look away, to spare myself the pain, but I could only stare in morbid fascination as they drowned in their own little world. Nothing could reach them there, not my love nor my pain. Not once did she look at me, not once did she notice my stare, not once did she see the emotions in my eyes.

At the airport, she chatted excitedly to me about how happy she was and how she looked forward to spending the coming few months all alone with him while we waited for him to check the luggage in and get their boarding passes. Strange, that no one heard the loud cracking resonating in my ears, almost drowning out her words. The sound of my heart breaking into yet smaller piece. I had thought that it was already too broken to break anymore.

I could only sit stiffly beside her, as we waited for a while longer before they left to board the plane. A few times, I had to leave her side, to take a walk and try to calm myself down, before I could sit at her side again without snatching her up and running away with her. How I wanted to just grab her and run, and keep running until we had left this world and all it held behind. I probably would have given in to that urge, if we could have left her love for him behind as well. I never knew that even I could fell victim to wishful thinking, guess it just proved how much of a fool I really am. Being with her had taught me so much about myself. More accurately, I should say that the time I had been with her had shaped who I am, for I was nothing until I met her. I was a void, an empty shell suffocating in this foul, vicious world, until she came along and became my guiding star.

I had tensed, became taunt as a wire at the edge of snapping, when she hugged me before walking through the gate hand in hand with him. I had given her a rare smile, when she looked up at me in confusion. The smile she gave back, a smile just for me, was almost enough to slow the bleeding of my heart. Almost.

It was raining that day, the day I held her hand as she bared through the excruciating pains of childbirth. She almost a month too early, and everyone feared for the safety of her child. I merely worried for her, my feelings for her had not diminished at all after an entire year. In fact, it has grown, grown on me just like the one who caused it had grown on me and become impossible to remove or forget.

Her sudden birthing was unexpected. My half-brother had been away on a business trip, planning to return a week before she was due. He was pulled out of a meeting to be informed of his wife's condition, and was flying back on the corporate plane right that moment. Too bad he was missing out on the birth of his children, I did not feel bad for him at all. How ironic, that his hated half-brother who was in love with the same woman as himself, should be sitting here holding his wife's hand and be her pillar of strength at this crucial moment. I wonder how he would react, if he knew of my feelings for her.

Every sound she made torn into my soul, how I wished that I could take the pain for her. I wanted to spare her all the pains of the world if I could, but it was not my place. It was never my place. People had always complained about the cruelties of fate, offering them a piece of paradise only to rip it away. In my case, she had been a piece of forbidden fruit since the moment she ran, dripping rain water everywhere, into my life. If only I had realized how much she would come to mean to me earlier, before it was too late. But then, it was already too late from the moment I saw her.

Twenty-eight torturous hours and an eternity later, her child was finally born. The nurse took the premature baby to intensive care immediately, but I did not notice that at all. In my eyes, in my world, there is only her, as she slept the restful sleep of a new mother, a tranquil smile upon her beauteous lips.

I never let go of her hand as they moved her to a ward. I did not leave her side when my brother finally showed up, looking frazzled and agitated. I was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, her husband being sprawled dead asleep over the sofa in the corner of her ward. The joy and worry in her eyes as she beamed up at me caused a twinge my heart. Whether it was joy for her, or pity for myself, I do not know. I informed her in gentle tones I did not know I was capable of that her baby was in stable conditions, though premature, and in the best care possible money could buy. She smiled at me then, and I was lost. It seemed an eternity, though it was only a moment, when we stared into each other's eyes and I let all the love I felt for her pour from my eyes. Her eyes widened almost comically, before she turned away from me and timidly ask where was my half-brother.

My half-brother, of course, she was his, not mine. All the defence mechanisms I had, and a few more, slammed into place. Did I not know that it was too late? Too late to even try to protect myself from her devastating effects. With a rough kick to his calf and a barely contained snarl, I left the groggy bastard and my angel to celebrate over her child. Their child.

It was raining that day, the day I watched her child's birthday party from the shadows after turning down her invitation. She sounded disappointed; I had been avoiding them more and more recently, and she have not seen me in a quite a long time. However, I saw her almost everyday. I was always watching her from the shadows, always basking in her captivating presence from the sidelines. I never revealed myself to her though, it was better this way, if she did not know. If she could forget me, then maybe I could forget her. My, my, more wishful thinking? How far I have fallen, is there no bottom to this never-ending pit of despair?

Her child has grown to quite the cute, energetic little boy. She had named him after me - because I had been there for her when she needed someone most - after a huge fight with my half-brother in which he was quite incensed, and I could imagine why. We have always hated each other, and I had taken his place at her childbirth, and now his wife wanted to name their son after me? I almost wanted to gloat, but I know that he was the winner. What had I to gloat about? A petty victory when he held the heart of my angel?

Of course, she won out that fight in the end, did I not know that she was as tenacious as could be? And now as I watch my namesake, I could almost imagine that he was mine. The golden eyes and midnight tresses, a mixture of his parents, and his resemblance to the Taishou family; one could almost mistaken him for mine. Almost.

I had sent a large gift, or rather, several large gifts again this year. Let them think that it was my apology for not being there on his birthday. I only wanted to spoil the child that I could never have, her child. I watched, as he opened his presents with all the excitedly innocence of a young child, reminding me so much of his mother. I watched, and secretly rejoiced, as he opened my gifts and let out a radiant giggle. I could only watch.

It was raining that day, the day she confronted me with righteous anger and spitting fire from her expressive eyes. Did I really think that no one would notice me in my stalking? Just like the day she first marched up to me and demanded my respect, she marched up to me then demanding an explanation for my actions. As if she really did not know. Had she really forgotten that moment in her ward, as she lied on the pristine bed after the birth of her child, when I had shown her everything in my eyes?

Of course, I could not tell her the truth. Before I could not tell her due to my pride, and now I could not her due to my love. Being the compassionate girl that she was, she would not know how to handle it. I did not want to burden her with the knowledge of my feelings and my pain. I shrugged her accusations off, soothed her ruffled feathers with excuses and lies. I was just passing through, I wanted to see her but did not want to disturb her, I was there on business, I was there to see my half-brother, it were all coincidences, I was not watching her, I was not stalking her. Excuses. Lies.

I could see in the suspicion in her eyes that she did not believe me, not entirely anyway. I did not try overly hard to convince her otherwise. I might seem the self-sacrificing lover, but I was still a selfish bastard. A part of me wanted her to know that I was watching, wanted her to recognize my feelings.

She confronted me a few more times after that. If my lies did not sound convincing before, it definitely sound even less plausible now. She stopped asking after the time that I finally snapped. I had grabbed her and pressed my lips to hers desperately, venting out all my frustration and love in that heated kiss. I stared into her eyes after that kiss, with no pretences, no shutters covering the windows into my soul.

I continued to watch her from the shadows whenever I could.

And she knew.

It was raining that day, the day even the pretences, the façade of a life came crashing down around me. If I had thought fate to be cruel, it was nothing compared to this. Could I not even have the miniscule satisfaction of watching her from faraway? Why must she be taken from me like this? Did God, on a selfish whim, decide to have my angel be returned to himself?

I had just arrived home from a corporate banquet when the call came that destroyed the last vestiges of my world. They had gotten in a car accident. The driver, my half-brother, had died on the spot; she was taken to the hospital but in critical condition. I was out the door and halfway there before the person on the phone has finished the sentence. All the way to the hospital, I cursed my stupid ass of a half-brother. I had seen him consume quite a few glasses of wine during the banquet. How dare he drive, with my angel in the car, after drinking?

They would not let me into the emergency room to see her, no matter how I raged and threatened. Finally, the doctor came out with a grim expression and informed me of the unspeakable. I held her, whispering nothings in her deaf ears, as she swiftly turned cold in my arms. That day, as I held her ice cold body, I cried the first tear since my mother's death.

We really do live in circles. On a rainy day at a banquet I found her, and on a rainy day at a banquet I lost her.