A Random Definition of Random by juupren

A Parody

Sesshoumaru to Secretary Kagome:

S: Write this down. Exactly.

K: Fine, fine.

S: Hold on. *ponders*

K: Waiting...

S: Alright, I say "Hi, and I did end up seeing 'Finding Neverland' and it was cool. And that I saw 'The Hot Chick' too, and it was really awesome."

K: Alright...

S: Oh, and that I did receive the wine basket.

K: Kay...

S: Got it???

K: Am I free to add punctuation where necessary?

S: Yes.

S: Alright, tell me exactly what you're going to say.

K: Okay-

S: And if he says-

K: ARG STOP!!!

K: Okay, I'm just leaving your lack of punctuation skills. *muttering* Because it'll save a long-winded explanation and a lot of pain on my behalf.

S: No, fix it.

K: Gr. No.

S: Fix it NOW, woman.

K: Ah, the almighty Sesshoumaru speaks!

S: BOW TO ME!

K: I shall not.

S: YOU SHALL!

K: I shan't.

S: I shall bend your will to mine!

K: I'll throw your message out the window!

K: And plus I have no will for you to bend! Ha!

S: BEND TO MY WILL!!!!! YOU SHALL DELIVER THIS MESSAGE!!!

K: I can picture it now: "Singing telegram for Teddy! Singing telegram! Ohhhh, This is your lovely friend Fluffffyyyy... I misss youuuuu.... I saw these random moviessss... and I'm coming up this summer and we need to 'hook up'... La la la la dad de dum."

S: BEND TO THE WILL OF MASTER SESSHOUMARU!!!!

K: Oh come on. You have to admit that'd be funny.

S: BEND TO MY WILL DAMMMIT.

K: Come on... admit it...

S: YOU SHALL CRUMBLE BENEATH MY WILL!!!

K: Fine. Will you admit it now?

S: YOU SHALL CRUMBLE I TELL YOU! CRUMBLE!!!!

K: Already did. Focus Fluffy, focus.

S: THE WILL OF SESSHOUMARU CANNOT BE STOPPED!

S: I SHALL CRUSH ALL WHO DO NOT BEND!!!!!!

K: *sigh* we've been over this, dear.

S: BEEEEEENNNNDDDDDD

K: I DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDD

S: BEND TO MY WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

K: *sigh* This is going nowhere. Very well. Sesshoumaru, go back to the hole in the earth from whence you came, and make dead fossils bow to your will. It shall be a challenge to your almightiness. Then, I shall deliver your lovely 'singing telegram' (watch me improvise) to Teddy. And all shall be well, and the little flowers will burst out of the ground, singing happy little ditties about the might of Sesshoumaru's will. Happy now?

S: No. *tapping foot*