Please Don't Think of Me by sesshou_lover

Return to the Scene of the Crime

Return to the Scene of the Crime

Three Years Later

Kagome was on her way to the grocery store when she passed the café. She admitted it to herself; she kept checking the window hoping to see how Sesshoumaru was doing. The last time she saw him; he did not look too good.

Though he got everything he deserved when he left her for Kikyou, she still worried. How could she not when she still cared for him? He had been her love once.

He wasn't there again. She did not let it bother her. Truthfully she was long over him. He hurt her when she had never hurt him. Koga helped her to feel better about herself. She did not need Sesshoumaru anymore.

She continued on her way as if she had not glanced at the café window. Perhaps he took her words to heart and was actually not thinking about her. She smiled gently at an old couple passing her by.

She admired their ability to be together for so long and still have that affection for one another. She imagined her and Koga walking together like that when they were both old and needed one another.

She laughed slightly. Koga would love to be with her for the rest of her life. He'd probably make plans on having that happen. He wanted no one other than Kagome, which suited her self esteem just fine.

She felt better about herself than she ever had before. "Maybe I'll tell him about what I saw when I see him later. She liked it when Koga smiled, as he often did whenever she was around.

She often smiled more when he was around. Everyone thought them perfect together. She sometimes thought that she could spend the rest of her life with him if she dared take the chance.

The truth. As much as she adored Koga, she did not think that she could settle down with him soon. She wanted time to herself, time to truly decide what she wanted out of life. Koga understood her need.

"Hey you're my girl," he often said to her, "I'll wait until eternity for you."

At the grocery store Kagome picked up a basket. She remembered the days when she used to shop for two, when Sesshoumaru used to come over every night to taste her cooking.

'Funny how I'm thinking about him more often.' She thought to herself. She actually did think about him more. She did not know why. Maybe she worried about him more. Perhaps she just wondered why she had not seen him in so long.

Whatever bothered her, she only allowed it a fleeting thought. Koga was away on business, so maybe she felt a little lonely.

She grabbed some much needed items off the shelves, vegetables, cheese, meat, cookies, other things she could not live without. She filled her cart with enough to keep her going for the week at home.

Because she carried everything by hand, she did not get too many heavy items. Her arms were strong from all the years of lifting bags and carrying them up the street. She liked that independence in herself. It made her feel strong.

She waited in line for a long time. Everyone seemed to want to come to the grocery at this time of day when she wanted to shop. She did not let it all bother her. She had plenty of time today.

Her Saturdays were usually very relaxing. After she returned from doing the grocery, she often curled up to read a good book or took a long relaxing hot bath. She called it her lazy day.

'Lazy days.' Once lazy days had a different meaning. Those were the days that she and Sesshoumaru used to just stay in bed and make love all day long without worry. They never rushed on those days; they never ravished one another. They simply took the time to learn the other's body. Those were beautiful days.

But now she considered a lazy day a day where she did nothing but spend time alone. 'Maybe I'll rent some movies.' That sounded like a very good idea. She loved movies and since she was going to be alone she could enjoy all the girlie movies she wanted.

She needed some good tissue movies. Unfortunately she would have to take the bags home before she made her way to the video store. If she had thought of it before she could have stopped before she came to the grocery.

'Oh well. I guess I'll just have to do this all the hard way.'

She finally got the chance to pay for her items. She carried her bags up the road, not noticing that she automatically looked toward the café where Sesshoumaru and Kikyou used to always hang out.

Still he wasn't there, though this time she saw Kikyou and her gaggle of friends. Kagome shook her head sadly. Sesshoumaru was too good for Kikyou, but unfortunately he wasn't strong enough to be without her.

It wasn't Kagome's problem anymore. Obviously Kikyou was quite happy with what she had. She wore a fashionably expensive orange sundress, with matching sunglasses on her head.

On some level Kagome thought the outfit very nice. It fit Kikyou nicely. Kagome expected nothing less of Kikyou. She kept going to her apartment smiling the whole way.

Today was a happy day, or it should be a happy day. Kagome got promoted to manager at the small bookstore she worked at. She needed a chance to celebrate. So she was going to make herself dinner, watch some movies, get a good cry in, take a nice long bath, then she was going to curl into bed with a good book.

She thought that maybe she would call Koga later and see how he was doing. It would be a nice surprise for him. She almost never called him to initiate a conversation, not that she didn't like talking to him.

Kagome liked to think of herself as being mysterious with Koga. It was their new game. She sometimes called him, but he always called her. He'd want to hear about the promotion. He'd probably demand to take her out to celebrate.

Then he most likely would shower her with all kinds of affections and gifts. She'd blush madly, partly from embarrassment. The way Koga treated Kagome made her feel so special.

Yes Koga was so rash and he often reacted without thinking, but she loved that about him. He kept her off track sometimes with his personality.

When Kagome reached her apartment she quickly put everything away before rushing back out to the video store. This time when she walked past the café there was Sesshoumaru.

She felt like she had stepped back in time, only this time she was older, Inuyasha and Naraku weren't there, and this time Kikyou scowled.

Sesshoumaru brandished a piece of white paper in his hand, presumably a bill of some sort. He wore a pair of kaki pants that fit his legs nicely, and a dark button down. He looked good. His hair was perfect, his features weren't drawn or anything. So maybe he was happy now. She certainly hoped so.

Kagome paused a moment to watch as the argument unfolded. Kikyou cried as if she were really upset. From where Kagome stood, it looked very fake. Suddenly she caught Sesshoumaru's eyes. He paused for a moment, which made Kagome run.

She had not wanted to be caught watching them argue.

~*~

Sesshoumaru was laying into his wife about her mobile bill. Couldn't she for a single moment stop opening her mouth? She behaved as if he had a bottomless account.

He worked harder than ever just to take care of the bills he acquired. Every time he turned around Kikyou had to buy something else. She just needed this outfit for this function, or she had to get a manicure, or a facial.

It was always something. No matter how many times he told her to be careful, she never listened. She always whined about how he did not love her enough. She whined about how she just had to be at the head of the fashion world.

Nothing he did work. He honestly tried not to compare Kikyou to Kagome. But over the years it just got harder than ever. Kagome would never have spent his money like this. She would have worked with him to make money.

Kagome would not be sitting in a café all day doing nothing. And she certainly would never cheat on him like Kikyou had done numerous times.

Why did he continue to put up with her and her fake tears? Because Kagome had rejected him. Kagome moved on with her life obviously. After he saw her three years ago with Koga he swore to himself he would never come back to this place.

On the outside he looked strong. But inside he was sick. He was not meant for a purely vegan diet, but his wife refused to allow him to eat meat. He was growing weaker by the day. He was depressed most of the time.

It was all his fault. He never should have left Kagome for Kikyou. That had been the biggest mistake of his life he now knew. He looked out the window briefly. There was Kagome watching him.

He stood still for only a moment, barely noticeable by anyone around them. Kikyou started yelling at him about how he didn't love her. He wasn't listening. He watched as Kagome blushed a lovely shade of red and continued on her way.

She walked away from him again, but this time there was no Koga. He had to talk to her. He did not think he could survive another day unless he got the chance to talk to Kagome.

So many times he had thought about calling her, stopping by her house. He never did. He was always too afraid, too afraid that she was with Koga. He feared most that Kagome would refuse to see him again.

"Now go back to Kikyou. You love her, not me. Just forget about me, and us...

Those were her words that day. She did not want to see him. But then maybe if he persisted she'd at least be his friend. It had after all been three years. Surely she would want to talk to him after all that time.

"Are you listening to me Sesshy?" He cringed inside at that name she called him.

"Go home Kikyou. You are not to use your phone again at all today or I will shut off the service." He just might to that anyway. She never listened to him.

"But I have a facial I have to go to today," she protested, her orange lips pouting. She was trying to entice him into giving in. Only this time he had another goal on his mind. He had to talk to Kagome, if only to say hello.

"I said go home," he growled. She gasped. He never used such a tone with her before. He did not care anymore. "I will inform you when you can have a facial. Until then, do not push me again."

Kikyou left, her friends dragging behind her. Already he heard them talk about what an ass he was being. He did not care. He had other business to take care of.

When he was sure that Kikyou and her friends were gone, he exited the café. He crossed the street to wait for Kagome to return this way. Maybe she went to the grocery store or something. He hoped he got to see her soon.

~*~

Kagome returned up the street, five video's in her arms. DVD's were nice, but Kagome was still a VHS kind of girl. She did not know why, nor did she really care. She refused the DVD player Koga tried to buy her one Christmas.

She feared passing by the café just in case Sesshoumaru was still there. She had not wanted him to see her. Now she did not know what to do. What if he showed up at her house or something?

She paid no attention to where she was going. She ran into a hard wall, a wall with hands that held her shoulders.

"Kagome?"

'Oh no, not him.' Too late she looked up. She had run into Sesshoumaru, literally.