Paperflowers by Rainy_days

Prologue - Broken Reality

I'm scared.

Sometimes, I'm afraid that I'm going crazy.

And sometimes, it's hard to say if I not already am.

You see, it's like I'm not a part of reality anymore. As if I'm just a watcher and the thing they call 'the real world' is nothing more than just a movie.

I'm far, far away. So far that I'm afraid I won't be able to come back someday.

She's scared. Her- That side of me that has to live in the nightmare named reality. She's scared, and eventually, she'll break.

Or is it me that will break? We are, after all, the same person...

Sometimes, I want to scream...

Really loud

Perhaps, then, something will happen.

Perhaps, then, someone will notice. Notice that I'm not even here anymore.

That I'm in my own world.

The one I've built to escape the mind numbing monotony and lack of prospects.

That the thing they see is only her.

But they don't notice, and probably never will.

Besides, it's not as if it matters, ne?

Even if they knew, everything would still stay the same.

I'm scared.

Scared of the thing they call reality.

It will break me, slowly, little by little and piece by piece- forcing me, more and more, to retreat back into my own, small world.

Until I won't be able to come back.

Until I won't even be able to tell the difference anymore.

But the thing that scares me most is that I don't even care.

That I nearly wish it would happen.

~+~

In my field of paperflowers

And candy clouds of lullaby

I lie inside myself for hours

And watch my purple sky fly over me...

~+~

The room was shrouded in darkness, and silent- except for the sound of the dripping rain against the window, and the steady breathing of the girl. She appeared to be sixteen years old, seventeen at the most. Waves of never-ending, silky black hair flowed over her shoulder. Dull, vacant azure eyes gazed out of the window. Watching the raindrops, though at the same time, seeing nothing.

The raindrops. They were pretty. Fragile and yet, unbreakable.

But so unreal.

Motionless, she continued to watch.

Tonight would be the engagement party of her ex-boyfriend and her sister.

The 'oh so good looking, oh so happy couple'....

It was funny how she didn't feel anything about it. There was no sadness. Not even anger.

Or was it just that she didn't want to feel? At this thought, the girl chuckled joylessly.

She really had to stop thinking so much about these things. It would only result in drowning her deeper into depression.

She let herself relax and fall back onto her bed.

Perhaps she should sleep a little more. Then, she wouldn't have to think. Sleeping was the only thing that seemed to help if the pain of thinking, of feeling, seemed to get too much.

Sleeping was the only time she would ever feel free.

Or perhaps....

Perhaps she should really do it this time.

Make an end to this suffering known as life.

The idea was tempting.

Being able to sleep forever, without ever having to wake up again.

Being able to be free, at last.

----

Blood, there was so much of it. The whole water had turned red, and some was smeared onto the rim of the bathtub.

Her mother would be angry. Even when dieing, she had to make a mess. Like always¡K

Her head felt dizzy.

Why was she still here?

Was she too stupid to have done even this right?

"Kagome? Kagome! What the fuck is taking you so long?! I need to do my make up NOW!"

Perhaps she had cut the wrong place?

Perhaps she should try again...

Someone outside banged the door repeatedly. Cursing. Annoyed by the lack of response.

"You little bitch... Open the door! NOW!!........ Kagome!! The first guests are here!! Please!!"

Yes, making another cut would probably be better, quicker, and more efficient for making her die. Trying to reach up to the knife, she found that she was too weak, that she couldn't move her arm.

So she had done it right after all?

"I'll open this door by force if you don't open now Kagome!!" yelled the voice.

Her eyes glassed over and her head wobbled from side to side, as if her neck had lost the strength to support it. Dark spots danced and flitted across her blurred vision.

The sound of distant voices filtered through her ear. Then, there was the sickening sound of splintering wood as a lock finally broke under pressure

"KAGOME!"

Kagome dimly registered the thundering sound. The angry voice. Angry?

"What the fuck did you-"Then, a shrill scream.

Finally, her mind fell into blissful peace and unconsciousness.