the deadly dream {special edition} by Lady_Dark_Kitten

Chapter One

[Interior monolog]

Song by Moby: 'Porcelain'

Sesshoumaru woke with a start; he hit the futon and cursed. He threw the blanket off of him and walked to the balcony. He watched the moon and hit the rail. That dream again. He thought on it.

"Stupid girl..." he threw a robe on and opened the door to walk the halls for another night.

~In my dreams I'm dying all the time.

As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind.

I never meant to hurt you...~

He walked to his study then he checked on Rin. He walked to the dining hall; he cursed him self and walked out. He walked the gardens for hours. Hating her, hating him self. He grumbled and went back inside the same way he always went. He stopped in front of her old room.

~I never meant to lie.

So this is goodbye.

This is goodbye...~

He stepped in like he'd done so many nights before. Why did he tell her that Inuyasha was still alive? He cursed again; he should never have said that.

{Flash back}

He flipped his good for nothing half brother off of Kagome then he plucked the girl from the blood stained ground. He ran a hand over her face he must be ill to love a human; he thought to him self. He coiled his tail around her and took off just. As everyone else arrived he was out of sight.

He landed on his balcony and walked down one of the many long halls barking orders at his servants. He opened a room that was kept ready for ambassadors. He laid her on the bed and ordered a servant to stand out side her door and tell him when she woke.

Later that day a servant came running, Sesshoumaru didn't have to ask why. He quickly turned out of his study and walked to her room wondering how to get her to stay. When he entered she had bathed and was in clean clothes.

"Sesshoumaru..." he nodded and sat next to her on the futon her eyes widened realizing how she must have got here. "Is Inuyasha ok?" he frowned.

"Yes..." she looked at the door and furrowed her brow.

"Then why am I here." He looked at the door for a moment.

"You where fatally wounded I was the only one close enough to heal you, but I had left my Tenseiga here." She nodded; he had always deemed the sword worthless so the fact that it could be a lie never crossed my mind.

"Did they say when they would come to get me?" he shook his head. She nodded and frowned. She must have thought that Inuyasha was to injured to move or something of the like, for she questioned him no more.

{End}

He sighed as he walked in closing the door behind him and sat on the futon. He looked around; he had wooed her and 'earned' her love. But then her friends found her. Soon he would have spelled her to completely forget about them and think that she had always been here with him.

~Tell the truth you never wanted me.

Tell me.~

She did love him right? He looked at a painting she made for him. She was a very talented girl. And he loved her, his jaw tightened and he stood up and left the room slamming the door behind him leaving small gouge marks on the door where he carelessly clawed the door.

~In my dreams I'm jealous all the time.

As I wake I'm going out of my mind.~

He walked back to his room and lay down on his bed dreading sleep, but he had only slept 2 hours the entire week. He needed sleep, when he did fall to sleep once again he entered that hellish dream. Kagome's staring down on him standing tall and deadly fire framing her perfect figure; he could feel broken bones. There where so many he couldn't move. She smiled evilly at him and raised her blood-covered sword. He knew he was next but just as the sword came down on him he woke. He clenched his jaw shaking.

"GOD DAMN THAT GIRL!" he looked around. This must be the fine line between love and hate he thought as he looked out the window. It was dawn he had work to do so he got up and started his day.

~Going out of my mind.~

{Kagome}

She sat up with Sango watching the stars. Her heart twisted as and unbidden image of her and Sesshoumaru doing the same flashed in her mind. She must have flinched or something because Sango looked at her.

"Kagome are you ok?" she nodded. And looked at Sango and plastered a smile on her face.

"I'm fine, it will just take some time." Sango nodded assuming that she was talking about Inuyasha's death.

She was but she was also referring to Sesshoumaru, he lied to her. She felt her heart tighten. She should have expected it... because he was a cold asshole! She sighed and lay down on the grass. Sango looked at the sky.

"Do you think we're strong enough with out him?" Kagome looked at her and frowned.

"I hope so." Sango got up and stretched.

"I'm going to go back to the fire, you comen'?" Kagome looked back at the sky and shook her head. "Ok." Sango turned around and walked back into the firelight.

Kagome closed her eyes willing the pain away. {God please make it stop; make me believe that this doesn't hurt, that I don't want him anymore, that I don't need him.} She sat up and looked back at the fire. She didn't want the light to touch her; her mood was to dark for her to enjoy the light of a fire.

Later when they let the fire die and they slept she stood up and walked over to her sleeping bag. She crawled in and closed her eyes. She tossed and turned; she just couldn't get comfortable.

{Flash back}

"I got it!" Kagome yelled as she trotted off to the front gate a guard in tow. As she approached she could hear voices that she recognized. Kagome paused for a moment and listened.

"Why would she be here?" questioned a frustrated voice that could only belong to a child.

"Where else could she be? We got there and she was gone." A woman calmly answered.

"Sango's right, Kagome wouldn't just leave..." it sounded like he wanted to say more but he left it at that. The guard tapped Kagomes shoulder and she gently swatted his hand away as she pressed her ear to the door.

"But what would Inuyasha's brother want with her? She is human." she heard the man and woman sigh at the small voice. Kagome knew the names but couldn't place a face to them. She knew that the person was very important to her. she remembered that they where 'close' friends.

"Ehh em." The guard whispered to get Kagomes attention. She looked over to see him hovering over her shoulder. "Kagome-sama would you like me to handle this?" Kagome shook her head.

"No I got it." she reached over to the gate but the guard assuming that it would be to heavy for her opened it leaving her to great the inquirers.

She stood strait and folded her hands in front of her hiding them in the sleeves of her kimono. When she could see them she smiled widely but she didn't have a chance to say anything because they all started to hug her. She heard the guard start to growl but she waved her and at him making him stop a look of anger settling on his face.

The small group was talking all at once and she couldn't under stand anything. She tried to get their attention. Finally she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms then waved to the guard.

"Don't hurt them just make them shut up." her yelling at them didn't work and she didn't want a sore throat.

"HAY... SHUT UP!" they all looked at him then Kagome who looked extremely cross.'

"Thank you." she puts her arm on the guards shoulder. "I think I'll be fine." He nods and glares daggers the three just out side the complex. }

Kagome rolled over and tried to chase the memories away but she failed.

{As he walks off Kagome watches him go to be sure he was out of earshot before she said anything. She looked back at the rag-tag party and snorted. First Jaken pestering her, then the cook asking about diner, and now this. She waited for a moment taking in the three people that stood before her, she knew them but couldn't remember their names. Then she remembered Sesshoumaru saying that her friends would come for her.

"Kagome we're so glad we found you." the small fox demon said as he proceeded to cling to her leg like Rin dose.

"Yes we where very worried about you." she lifted an eyebrow at the monk, then she wondered what made her think he was a monk.

"Sesshoumaru told me that you knew I was here." They looked at each other then back at her.

"No Kagome-sama..." the man said as he peeked over her shoulder to see Rin making her way across the courtyard.

"Kagome-chan!" she looked behind her as everyone looked around her.

"Hi sweetie..." Kagome crouched in front of the young girl so they where on the same level. "What do you need hun'. I'm a bit busy." The girl frowned.

"But Jaken doesn't want to play and the guard doesn't know how." Kagome snickered.

"Well go tell Sesshoumaru-sama and he'll have one of the other children keep you company till I'm done, ok?" the girl nodded vigorously then skipped off. Kagome looked over her shoulder as she stood up. "Well there's no need to stand out here fallow me." Kagome turned away brusquely and started for the castle. The others lagged behind her to talk amongst them self's.

"I don't think she recognizes us." Shippo told Miroku and Sango as he walked sideways with his hands behind his head.

"She remembers us to a degree, she did say that Sesshoumaru said we would come for her." Sango looked at him side ways and frowned.

"We all heard what she said Miroku... but I think you're right I don't think she can place names to faces." She paused for a moment. "As a matter of fact I think she only recognized our voices." Kagome looked back and sighed.

"You really should keep up many of the servants don't take kindly to new comers especially humans." They nodded and jogged up behind her.

Finally she turned a corner and opened a door with her name carved on it. They fallowed her into a lavishly decorated study with books and righting stuff everywhere. Kagome picked up some papers and other things out of chairs for them then sat in her own.

"This is amazing." She nodded.

"Thank you... please excuse the mess I haven't been in here in a while." They nodded as their eyes traveled to her.

"Its ok... Kagome what did Sesshoumaru tell you?" Kagome blinked for a moment then recited what he had said to her and everyone's eyes where wide.

"What?" she suddenly started to fell restless as she shifted back and forth in her chair. It didn't surprise them that she remember Inuyasha's name even though she didn't remember theirs.

"Kagome Inuyasha died." Kagomes eyes widened. "He was dead when we got to you two only you where missing." The young miko could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

"What?!" she looked at the ground. "No that can't be right..." every one frowned sadly.

"Then why isn't he here?" Kagomes eyes where sparkling with sadness as flashes of what happened surfaced causing a headache. "Kagome?" she sighed and took in a ragged breath then looked at them.

"He lied to me!" they leaned back seeing her sadness mix with anger. She got up and stormed out of the room followed by her friends.

All of the servants back against the walls as she passed them. Then Jaken stepped out in front of her and she would have stepped on him if he hadn't moved. She stopped in front of a door anger flowing off her in fiery waves. Kagome pushed the door open making it slam to a stop. Sango Miroku and Shippo peeked around the corner to see what was happening but not be in the line of fire.

"Kagome what's wrong?" Sesshoumaru asked, as he looked up from his desk a look of worried puzzlement crossing his face. Then Kagome slammed her fists on his desk.

"YOU LIED TO ME SESSHOUMARU." He lifted a quizzical eyebrow and looked at the door to see three heads poked around the corner. He stood up and waved the door shut then reached for her.

"Kagome..." her eyes where over flowing with tears as she pulled away from his touch.

"HE DIED! HOW COULD YOU LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT!?" he put his hands on his desk and leaned toward her.

"Kagome keep your voice down I don't want Rin hearing this." She snarled at him.

"There's no more to hear... I'm leaving with my friends." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and swung the door open. As she walked by her friends she looked at them with out stopping. "We're leaving." She didn't stop at her study or her room she said good-bye to Rin saying that she would come visit and that's it.

{end flash back}

Finally she gave up and just lay there. Sleep wasn't her specialty lately; she had only had a nights worth of sleep the entire week. She wanted someone warm to lie next to. She pushed that thought away she didn't want him she told her self. When she finally drifted off she dreamed of him.

She woke up before the sun had thought about rising. She sighed and wished that she could sleep just a bit more. She tried for an hour and finally gave up; she was too anger about not getting more sleep to get any more sleep. When there was enough light she stood up and grabbed a book you of her bag to see if she could get some work done. Despite her emotional distractions she was catching up on her work.

She worked fervently trying to get as much done as she could before the others woke. But she took a few moments to look you over the flower spotted field below her. She tried to work some more but her eyes kept getting drawn back to the field. She sighed and closed her book setting it aside for the time being.

Then Kagome felt a presence behind her. She could feel the air around her change and she felt him walk next to her until she could see his pant leg.

"Yes?" she stared at the flowers until his normally harsh voice rose softly.

"Kagome..." thou soft his voice was angry. "Come back with me." The command startled Kagome and she looked up at him wide eyed.

"Go back with you... no." he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why?" the simple question made Kagome furrow her brow.

"Because you lied to me, you toyed with my head!" the young miko snapped quietly.

"No other reason?" Kagome turned her back on him.

"I don't need another reason." Sesshoumaru could hear everyone start to move about just down the slope. He walked down the hill then was out of sight; he had no desire to deal with her companions.

She watched the wind dance with the flowers dance until she felt a hand on her arm. She looked over to see Shippo standing next to her.

"Kagome everyone's getting up. Could you make some breakfast?" she nodded and looked at the flowers one more time before she fallowed the kit back to the camp.

Kagome sat silently as she ate. Everyone watched her till she looked up then they where paying more attention to there food that anything else. She smirked and shook her head; she knew that they had been watching her. She knew why they where watching her, they put their stuff down as Kagome quickly downed hers and took a plastic bag out of her backpack. She stuffed her garbage in it then she handed it around. When it came back to her she stuffed it in her pack.

"We better get going." Everyone nodded as she stood and hefted her pack on to her bike tying it down tight.

On the way back to the hut they wondered how Kaede was going to react to Inuyasha's death. They tried to make small talk but it was useless Kagome just couldn't bring her self to say anything. Her heart was too heavy as she saw flashes of Sesshoumaru's face. If only he hadn't lied to her... she shook the thought away as they turned the bend to see Kaede sitting out side the hut. She frowned when she didn't see Inuyasha with them.

"Where's Inuyasha?" Kagome got off her bike and watched the ground as she walked up to the hut leaning the bike against it. Kaede looked to the others her face scrunched up in confutation.

"He was killed a few weeks ago." The old miko's eyes widened as she looked at Kagomes tear filled eyes.

"He's what?" Inuyasha's not here and his brother lied to her. It's not just that he lied; he lied to her about Inuyasha. And everything they had was based on a lie. Did he really think he was going to get away with it?

"I have to go I have a test tomorrow and I have things I have to turn in." she picked up her bag and trudged to the well.

She made her walk swift and short. When she got to the well she felt like her legs where going to give out so she knelt next to the well. She still couldn't believe Inuyasha was gone. She sat there holding the edge of the wall staring at the grass; her bag next to her. When she left him a piece of him was left in her or was it her that left behind and she tried to ignore the empty part of her that it caused. She pulled her self up to look into the well. She took a deep breath and dried her tears on her cheek. But before she could depart she was snatched away from the well. Knowing full well whom it was she just sighed and slouched her shoulders.

"What?" she hissed as he turned her to him.

"Kagome you belong with me." Sesshoumaru avoided the phrase 'belong to me' because he hand yet to mark her. But he felt like she belongs to him she was there longer than any normal demon would have waited to mark his mate; he should have done it when he had the chance.

"No I don't." she closed her eyes and started to struggle. "Now let me go!" as she pulled against him he tightened his grasp.

"Kagome you know I love you..." she opened her eyes still trying to wiggle away from him.

"Ya and?" Then she could feel the demons anger start to boil and she wondered if it was his pride or if her reaction actually hurt him. It was both.

"Come with me or I will force you to." Kagomes eyes widened then narrowed.

"You can't make me do anything." Kagome let out a serge of her powers that would force even him to let go. When he dropped her she grabbed her bag and scrambled for the well then clamored in; [stupid boys] she thought bitterly as she dropped in the well.

Sesshoumaru stared at the well momentarily his eyes narrowed and hard as diamonds. He turned around sharply and walked away cursing her. He would have her or no one. His soul would fade and his line would die before he took another.

Kagome landed gently on the other side and climbed up on the latter. She heaved her bag over the wall when she was near enough to the top. She stopped just before she was about to lift her self out she looked at the bones scattered on the bottom only rubbing salt in her emotional injuries.

She shook her head and lifted her self out of the well. She picked up her pack and opened the door; she looked around for a moment. The light was starting to fade as the sunset splashing the sky with purples and reds. She looked away from the sky as she walked toward the house and opened the door.

"Mama..." she walked in and closed the door. "I'm home." Her mother poked her head in the kitchen and smiled. She walked in and her smile faded as she saw Kagomes expression.

"Kagome are you ok?" Kagomes eyes filled with tears and she dropped her bag. She walked weakly to her mother and started to sob as Miss. Higurashi pulled her close. "Kagome what happened?" but she couldn't get the words out; she looked up at her mother and the woman smiled sympathetically at her. "Sit down I'll make you some coco." Kagome nodded and pulled out a chair.

She watched her mother bustle about the kitchen as she dried her eyes on her sleeves trying to calm her self. Her mother pulled a cup of hot water out of the microwave and mixed the powdered coco in. she grabbed a spoon and walked over to the table as she stirred it. She sat and handed her flushed daughter the mug.

"Thank you mama." She took a drink and looked at her mother.

"What happened?" Kagome bit her lip trying to hold the tears back so she could tell her mother.

"Inu..." her eyes started to brim with tears. "Inuyasha was killed." Miss Higurashi eyes widened.

"How?" Kagome shook her head.

"I don't know I must have hit my head..." her mother narrowed her eye. "And the others weren't there when it happened." Kagome broke down again just as her little brother walked in. he looked at his sobbing sister then at his mother.

"What happened?" his Miss. Higurashi frowned. She didn't want to upset her son; Inuyasha was the brother he never had.

"Sota..." before she could say anything else they watched Kagome get up and dart out of the kitchen.

She ran to her room and slammed the door shut. She stood there for a moment hand still on the doorknob, she took a few deep breaths before she let go and launched her self on her bed. She looked at the clock to see that it was about 10. She pulled her blankets up over her head. She wasn't hungry and she needed sleep; she hoped that a real bed would help.

But it didn't, she lay there all night well aware of the time. At one point she looked at the clock and it was only 3. She groaned and rolled over. Her eyes fluttered open again and she looked at the clock; wow she thought its 5! She rolled out of bed and did more home work till her alarm went off.

Then she went threw the morning routine. She dragged her ass to school and went threw her first period like a zombie. Then during the first break her concern crazed friends pulled her off to the.

"Kagome!" she looked at Eri, Ayumi then Yuka.

"Mmmm." She blinked.

"Are you ok?" Eri touched her shoulder.

"Have you had any sleep?" Kagome shook her head at Yuka.

"Not much." Yuka looked at Ayumi.

"Kagome?" Ayumi walked in front of her. "What happened?" Kagomes eyes started to well up with tears. The girls looked around and Yuka grabbed Kagome by the arm and dragged her into the bathroom across the hall.

"Kagome!" she looked at her friends one at a time as she leaned on the counter.

"Th... that guy that I keep telling you about..." she whipped her tears away. "He was killed." She bit her lip as her friends looked at each other wide eyed

"How?" she spouted the first thing that came to mind.

"He was hit by a car." The three girls eyes widened as Kagomes eyes started to water.

"Ohh my god Kagome are you ok?" she nodded as she whipped her eyes with her sleeve.

"I'll be fine..." the girls crowded around her for a group hug.

"Hay Kagome..." the girl wiped her eyes on her sleeve again and looked at her friend. "Lets go to a movie and get something to eat after school." Kagome's frown waned and she nodded her head. Yuka looked at her watched and tapped Ayumi on the shoulder.

"We have class in 5 minuets." Every one separated and fallowed their daily routine.

They met up after school and Kagomes friends dragged her to see a funny movie to try and give her a measure of relief. After the movie and dinner the girls walked her all the way to her door instead of the bottom of the huge concrete stair cast. They hugged her as she made her way in the house.

Kagome plopped her pack next to the door then stumbled over to the couch flopped on it. She would have fallen asleep had her mother not taped her shoulder. Kagome blinked and looked up as her mother handed her a pillow and blanket. Kagome smiled and curled up slipping off to sleep.

The next day Kagome slowly packed her things. She felt like there was a hundred pound brick on her back. She could feel bad things on the horizon but she shrugged it off as a slight bought of depression. She was on the other side in no time flat. Then they where off.

~ The Wheel card ~

Forgive Me By Evanescence

~Can you forgive me again?

I don't know what I said

But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out

I felt that I would die

It hurt so much to hurt you~

Awhile-later Kagome wandered away from everyone and sat on a hill to watch the dark clouds drift threw the sky. She sighed and pulled her knees up to her chin and rested her head on them.

"I just can't win." She could feel tears start to burn her eyes then she felt a presence behind her. She peeked over her shoulder to see Sesshoumaru's tall pail form; she snorted.

"Kagome..." she sighed and turned back around.

"What do you want now?" she watched out of the corner of her eye as he walked around her. Kagome looked up when he stopped in front of her everything flashing before her. She bit her lip and looked at the ground then peeked at him threw her wild bangs.

~Then you look at me

You're not shouting anymore

You're silently broken

I'd give anything now

to kill those words for you~

"You..." she rolled her eyes letting them settle on the ground again, Kagome squeezed her eyes shut wishing he would just leave her alone. He crouched in front of her and grabbed her chin. "Kagome." she opened her teary eyes then narrowed them at him. "Tell me you don't want me..." his voice was harsh and his eyes where hard as she gently pulled away from his touch. "Tell me you don't love me Kagome." she frowned and he grabbed her shoulders pulling her nose-to-nose with him forcing her to kneel.

"Let me go." Her flat voice rang harshly in his ears.

"Tell me!" he growled. "Do that and I will never bother you again." [Do that...] he thought [and I will be alone for the rest of my life.] Kagome furrowed her brow and her frown deepened. She brought her arms up in between his and pushed them away from her. She rose and took a few steps back then balled her fists next to her.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" he pressed his lips together in a slight frown as the tears that welled in her eyes slowly started to flow. "HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME IF YOU LOVED ME?" Sesshoumaru's eyes darkened. Kagome wrapped her arms around her self and turned away from him staring at the ground.

~Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."

But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.~

"You wouldn't have stayed with me if I hadn't." Kagomes tears slowly trickled down her face. "Would you?" His eyes hardened as she started to rub her arm nervously.

"No." Her head drooped as she closed her eyes and murmured to her self

"You never answered my question Kagome." She turned her back to him opening her soft chocolate eyes. "You can't ignore me forever." she glanced at the ground,

"What are you going to do kill me if I don't?" she felt like she was going to collapse. But she knew that if she did he would catch her. As she watched the ground Sesshoumaru pushed a bit of hair back into place and he took a step closer to her.

"What makes you think I wont?" Kagomes eyes widened as her head jerked up and she froze when her gaze met his. The demon lords eyes where dark bronze and heavy with anger.

"But..." she took a few steps back and tripped on a rock. Even as she tried to regain her balance she told her self [he'll catch me... wont he?]

Kagome opened her eyes as she felt strong arms wrap around her in a gentle embrace. As he lifted her up she could feel something wasn't right. She tried to back out of his grasp but he tightened it around her waist. Kagome gasped and tried to wiggle away from him but his arms constricted around her so tightly that she couldn't breath.

"Now what are you going to do?" he leaned over her and barley grassed his nose on her neck; Kagome was to afraid to shiver. Then Sesshoumaru loosened his grip on her a little and rested his head on her shoulder.

~'Cause you were made for me

Somehow I'll make you see

How happy you make me

I can't live this life

Without you by my side

I need you to survive~

"Sesshoumaru..." Kagome looked up at him her eyes wide and scared as he pulled his head away from her shoulder.

"Well?" she looked at the ground as she felt his soft tail gather around her feet.

"Why..." Sesshoumaru frowned at her as his tail flexed. "Why me? I'm human." if she could see him she would have seen a small rueful smile. Kagome tensed as Sesshoumaru's silence lengthened.

"A human..." Kagome twitched as the demon lord snorted and she hoped to god that he would just let her go. "I don't know why I found a human to clam." He stared at her for a moment as she leaned back and shivering at his closeness.

Kagome looked him in the eye and was pined down by his slightly softening bronze gaze. His darkened eyes stood out against his moon pail face. She tried again to convince her self that she didn't need him. [Make me believe that this doesn't hurt. He lied to me, I don't want him anymore, I don't need him. He lied to me. Make me believe that this doesn't hurt.] As she watched his eyes she repeated her litany over and over with out success.

~So stay with me

You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.~

"Please...let me go." He frowned at her and the warmth left his dark eyes.

"That's not an answer, you're staling." Kagome pushed away again but he snaked his other arm around her in such a way that he had her arms pinned between them. He moved his other hand to the back of her neck. "Tell me." Sesshoumaru's voice was so calm that it scared her.

[What if I say yes?] Kagome.

[What are you thinking stupid girl? He lied to you.] Kagomes little voice.

Kagomes face twisted I thought as she watched Sesshoumaru's eyes. He watched her patiently but she knew his gracious patients were running thin.

[But those eyes...] Kagome gazed into them until her inner voice interrupted her.

[Yes those eyes, the eyes that lied to you.] The voice pushed on. [Do you really need someone that lied to you? He lied to you about Inuyasha no less.]

[Your right...but still] then Kagomes inner conflict was interrupted.

"Kagome..." the girl looked at Sesshoumaru wide eyed. She found that he had loosened his grip in her.

~And you forgive me again

You're my one true friend

And I never meant to hurt you~

"Sesshoumaru..." the girl sighed heavily and gazed into his hard dark eyes. The demon lord already knew what she was going to say so he tightened his grip on the back of her neck a bit.

"No... it's now Kagome." the girl looked deeply at his armor. "Yes or no? It's that simple." Kagome leaned her head on his chest plate for a bit then leaned back again to look him in the eye.

"I can't say no..." Kagome leaned against him as part of her mind screamed at her for being a fool. "I can't live with out you." Sesshoumaru's eyes softened. It was all worth it but if her friends hadn't come to make a mess of things this would have never happened.

"I do regret lying to you." Kagome smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

Part 2

Sesshoumaru pulled back and put on finger under her chin then gently tilted her head up. The edge of his lips twitched as he leaned down and gently kissed her. She smiled and moved her arms so they encircled his neck. When he pulled away suddenly Kagomes eyes shot wide open and she watched his serious eyes as he scanned the small grove. Kagome lowered her arms so her hands rested on his chest.

"Sessh..." he swiftly lifted a finger and placed it over her lips as he listened. Kagome looked around then back to Sesshoumaru who was stock-still.

"Kagome stand behind me." Before Kagome could answer he pushed her behind him

Kagomes eyes widened when Naraku calmly walked out of the brush. But his vestige started to flicker and wane then faded all together. The figure under the illusion looked at him self and frowned. He was tall... very tall and he reminded her of a were-wolf. His muzzle and chest was a creamy peach color that lead to his flame red main of hair that faded to brass as it traveled down his back. Then it eventually darkened to black.

"I really need to work on that one." He looked up at the pair and. "Why hello..." he drawled then he grinned darkly. "I'm Apollo Lycaeus ..." Kagome thought something about that name was familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it. "Nice to see someone with power... this should be a nice work out." Sesshoumaru scoffed at him.

But Kagomes gaze was fixed in to wolf creatures eyes. They where like an abyss; there were no reflections. The blue orbs where so icy that you would think there was no iris save for the electric blue rims that lined the nearly white pools. Kagome tried to look away but her eyes drifted back to him; she felt like she was being pulled on. She could vaguely hear Sesshoumaru cold hard voice.

"You would do well to leave me and my mate be." The man-wolfs smile waned a little but spread widely from his muzzle to his cheeks as he cough a glimpse of Kagome behind Sesshoumaru. Then Apollo Lycaeus made true eye contact with Kagome and she felt her heart almost stop. She remembered there was a god by that name... A GOD!

"Sesshoumaru..." the silver haired lord reached behind him and rubbed her side in an attempt to comfort her. Apollo looked back at Sesshoumaru as his face turned thoughtful.

"Don't worry." Kagome pressed her lips together.

"You don't understand." He glanced back at her and narrowed his eyes. Kagome followed Sesshoumaru's gaze as it returned to Apollo and her eyes where instantly drawn to his. She could feel her self getting lost in the icy depths and she felt like she couldn't breath.

"And she is a pretty thing isn't she?" he lifted his hand and held it out as if to take Kagomes hand. "Come here." Suddenly Kagome felt her self in front of him her eyes widened as he pulled her in so her back was to him.

"Give her back. She isn't yours." She could see Sesshoumaru's eyes start to glow red.

"SESSHOUMARU NO! YOU CAN'T..." then she found that her voice stopped working Apollo smirked and raised an eyebrow at the demon lord as his eyes started to dim hearing her words.

"You heard her." for a moment Sesshoumaru wondered if she was under a spell or if she 'magically' found her self in love with the other instead. Then he saw the panicked look on her face as she struggled against the wolf-mans grasp. His eyes started to glow again as he stepped forward.

[SESSHOUMARU STOP... NO! HE'S A GOD...] Kagome could feel tears start to gather in her eyes then roll down her face.

"I don't think he can hear you pup..." her eyes widened then she felt his tongue travel from the crook of her neck to her ear. Apollo looked up to see Sesshoumaru leaping at him. Kagome shivered as she closed her eyes and heard the clashing of metal. She looked up at her lover as he advanced again. "You know he will die." She felt his tongue caress her cheek taking in her tears as the sound of sword strike after sword strike rang in her ears.

[NO!] she felt the wolf-man tighten his grip on her ensuring that she wouldn't wiggle away.

"You know I'm right..." in Kagomes heart of hearts she did but she refused to believe it.

Apollo effortlessly blocked the swing of a now frustrated and enraged Sesshoumaru. Her captor eyed Sesshoumaru as he gently nipped Kagomes neck; not drawing blood. Kagome looked at the ground trying to catch her breath.

Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru whose eyes where as blood but he hadn't changed. Apollo rested his head on Kagomes neck and peeked around to see her eyes.

[Change...] she pleaded even though she knew he couldn't hear her.

"Ahh he can't that's the thing about being a god my dear Kagome..." he raised his sword again this time slashing at the demon lord. "We don't have to play fair." Kagome's mouth opened as she silently cried out the gods sword slashed threw Sesshoumaru's armor; but the god held back his strength so there was no blood.

Sesshoumaru roared and rushed forward raising his sword high. When Sesshoumaru's sword met Apollo's Kagome heard a cracking sound. She would have gasped if she could.

[Sesshoumaru stop your sword's going to break.] Kagome looked up at Apollo her soft eyes burning with tears.

"I told you." Apollo swung at Sesshoumaru and when their swords met Sesshoumaru's Toukijin shattered.

Kagome turned her head expecting to get sprayed with fragments of the broken weapon but it never came. She heard Sesshoumaru bark and growl. When she looked up he was covered in hundreds of long shards of the sword imbedded deeply in her loves body.

[NO!!!!!!! SESSHOUMARU STOP. YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED!] She thought as the demon lord staggered for a moment Kagome felt Apollo radiating energy.

She looked from one to the other and when her eyes met Sesshoumaru again the bits of sword littered the ground at his feet. Kagome could see blood start to spread across the demon lord's cloths. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed and he stepped forward as his hand started to glow gold.

"Ahh a true lover never quits ehh?" Kagome shuttered and he ran his cold nose from her neck to her ear. He caressed the lobe with his tongue and tightened his grip as Sesshoumaru's whip struck the gods sword. "You taste good, I will enjoy the spoils of my victory." Kagome started to struggle until Apollo grasped the side of her neck in his toothy maw with out drawing blood.

Kagome heard Sesshoumaru roar and the wolf god released her neck to look up. Sesshoumaru was rushing them one hand drawn up poison dripping from his talons. Apollo swung at him striking the lords side. Kagome screamed as Sesshoumaru stumbled when Apollo wrenched his sword away from the lord; this reminded Kagome much of Sesshoumaru's battle with Inuyasha when he lost him self.

The wolf god felt power start to gather and raised an eyebrow. Kagomes power exploded on him but he just laughed.

"You really think that's going to work... Ooo look here he comes you know this is getting boring. He didn't die as fast as I had hoped." he dropped her and leapt at Sesshoumaru. Kagome tried to get up but found she was all frozen except for her eyes.

She watched as Apollo tackled Sesshoumaru wrapping his arms around the lords' waist and knocking him to the ground. Before the demon lord could react Apollo had hold of him where Sesshoumaru neck met his shoulder and started to shake. Kagome heard muscle ripping and tendons snapping. Sesshoumaru stabbed the god with a poisoned hand but when he with drew the wound closed behind him.

The wolf gods ripped Tenseiga from the demon lord's belt and scent it flying into a tree. The sword and sheath glowed for a moment then both cracked. Kagomes eyes shifted between the sword and the fight.

Kagome pulled at her unseen bonds then fell on her side. She saw Apollo glance at her out of the corner of his eye. He was going to give the mouth full of a firm yank ripping it from its host but he stood. Then licking his chops he turned to Kagome. She turned her eyes to see the sheath and sword where in splinters at the foot of the tree.

"Willful is fun but you have to much will." he waved his hand and Kagome could feel her invisible chains being lifted. Kagome got up and ran over to Sesshoumaru then dropped painfully to her bare knees. She pulled him into her lap so his back rested on her chest.

"Heal him..." she looked up at the wolf god her eyes pleading.

"I think not..." he started to fade. "This will be much more entertaining than killing him out right." then he was gone.

Kagome looked down at Sesshoumaru as the red started to fade. He could feel her powers gather around him. He looked up at her and he shut his eyes as a spasm of pain shot threw his body. Kagome realized somewhere in the back of her mind that night was falling and she would be alone.

~Hold on to me love

you know I can't stay long

all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath

safe inside myself

are all my thoughts of you

sweet raptured light it ends here tonight ~

"Sesshoumaru." Kagomes rested her fore head on his letting her tears drip on his face.

"Kagome..." she looked in his eyes as they shut again. "Where is Tenseiga?" when he opened his eyes Kagome looked over to the tree where it lay in shards.

"Gone." Sesshoumaru grimaced as Kagome wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in the crook of his neck. He knew then that she would only delay the inevitable; prolonging his pain. But he would endure anything to have a few more moments with her.

"I..." she looked at him determination plastered on her face. "I love you..." never in his entire life had he ever thought he would be saying those words. Kagome could feel blood start to soak threw her clothing and spread across her legs.

"I love you too." Kagome placed her hands on his chest letting all her power flow into him hoping it would be enough. Sesshoumaru shut his eyes tightly as a burning sensation ran threw him. When he opened them he did feel a little better but he knew it wouldn't be enough. He stiffened and took a deep breath.

~I'll miss the winter

a world of fragile things

look for me in the white forest

hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

I know you hear me

I can taste it in your tears

Holding my last breath

safe inside myself

are all my thoughts of you

sweet raptured light it ends here tonight ~

He could feel Kagome tense behind him so he reached over and took her hand. Kagome started to sob as he coughed then drew in a deep breath. They could hear Sango Miroku and Shippo walking up the path all theorizing where Kagome had gone.

"I don't know what I'm going to do..." Sesshoumaru squeezed her hand as another spasm made him go rigid at than moment with Kagome sobbing into his shoulder her friends rounded the corner and gasped.

"Kagome!" Shippo yelped and tried to go to her but Miroku grabbed him by the back of his shirt. But she ignored them. Sesshoumaru looked at her.

"Everything I..." Kagome frowned at him knowing where this was going. "I own is yours." Kagomes eyes closed.

"I don't want it... I want you." she sobbed quietly.

Sesshoumaru lifted him self painfully so he was looking at her face to face. The others watched in awe as he kissed her then pulled away and grabbed the back of her neck pulling it down so he could kiss her forehead. Kagome felt a tingling sensation on her forehead as he let go of her neck and pulled back.

"I know..." Kagome saw his arm start to shake as he leaned on her.

Kagome felt it coming as his body stiffened and his golden orbs rolled back into his head. Then he collapsed into her lap as his life faded into nothing. Kagomes throat tightened and she leaned over to rest her head on his. She breathed deeply hoping to take in his spicy scent but instead all she could smell was blood and death. The young miko sat up and wiped her face on the cleanest part of her sleeve.

~Closing your eyes to disappear

you pray your dreams will leave you here

but still you wake and know the truth

no one's there~

"Kagome..." the soft voice of Sango startled her for a moment having completely forgotten they where there. She looked up at the woman as new tears gathered at the corner of her eyes.

"Yes?" Sango knelt next to her and shifted Sesshoumaru's broken form out of her lap.

"Are you ok?" Kagome looked at the demon lord next to her.

"No." she reached over and ran her hand down her loves face as she started to sob.

Sango wrapped her arms around the distraught girl and pulls her to her feet the notices something on her forehead. Sango brushed Kagomes hair out of her face to find an upside down crescent cradling a small star. Kagome wondered what she was going to tell Rin when she came back alone.

~Say goodnight

don't be afraid

calling me calling me as you fade to black~

"Come on Kagome Miroku with give him a proper burial." The girl nodded and started to stand when something green caught her eye.

She reached down into one of the folds of his shirt and pulled out an obi decorated with gold moons impaled by arrows. She bit her lip resisting the tears; comically she wondered why he got her an obi. Not like she would really use it. She pulled it close as she stood and followed Sango.

As they walked Sango had her arm around the girls shoulder. She looked at Kagome and frowned. She watched the girl breathing the spicy musk from the fabric she clenched tightly to her.

"Kagome." the young miko looked up at her. "What happened in the castle?" Kagome frowned and looked at the obi.

"Nothing really... other than the fact I fell in love with him." Sango nodded.

"I gathered that much." Kagome looked at her again and wrinkled her nose.

"Nothing like that." Sango nodded again and rubbed the girls arm.

Later on Miroku and Shippo joined them and the started back to the hut. Kagome became with drawn and wore the obi tied around her waist.

When they finally reached the hut Kagome instantly retreated home for some down time and to turn in some work. A week or so later she came back to continue the hunt for the shards. She was wearing a pair of jeans with the emerald green obi tied around her waist like a belt.

***The Wheel is a tarot card that represents a new chapter in ones life where changes are made