Whiskey Lullaby by yokoshima sama

Whiskey Lullaby

Whiskey Lullaby

// She put him out

Like the burning end

Of a midnight cigarette//

The cool summers breeze flew through the air at a leisurely pace. The large sun had just begun to set over the mountains, causing the skies to turn beautiful shades of red, orange, pink, purple and blue. The sight reminded him of his love back at home. It had been five long years since he had seen her. A smile crept across his stoic face as he thought of her reaction to his unannounced return. He quickened his pace as he flew through the skies as the excitement of seeing his bride again took control of his senses.

The skies had just begun to turn black when he returned to the small palace he called home. He strolled silently through the hollow halls while on his way to their room. Before too long he reached the twin doors that led to their bedroom, which is where he knew she would be sleeping. He reached for the door handles but before he could even touch them, he heard his bride's voice. From what he could hear, she sounded happy. 'Maybe she saw me fly in.' he thought as he grabbed the handles and opened the doors. The smile that was present on his face faded as he looked at the sight before him.

There, on their bed, was his half brother and his wife. They were sleeping together! His happiness turned into anger faster than a blink of an eye. A low growl arose from his throat, catching the two lovers attention.

Her eyes grew as big as saucers when she saw her husband standing in the doorway. She couldn't believe what she had done. She would have slapped herself till she bled like no tomorrow if she wasn't in shock.

He, on the other hand, wasn't in shock. He was pissed. He thought his brother wouldn't be back for another year. He began to growl as well but the look on his older brothers face made him stop.

Pure anger and hatred showed on his stoic face. He was more than just angry, he was full on outraged. He couldn't understand why would she cheat on him with his brother? He was too angry to listen to her when she began to speak.

" SesshoMaru, please let me explain! This isn't what it looks like! Just let me explain!" she began but SesshoMaru wouldn't hear it.

" Why should I let you explain? I know exactly what's going on here! Kagome, how could you? I thought you loved me? Why? Why? Why?" SesshoMaru trailed off as he turned and left.

Kagome yelled after him as she got up, put on a robe and followed him. She continued to yell after him but SesshoMaru was too angry to listen.

SesshoMaru went straight to the stables and pulled out his demon horse, A-Un. As soon as he was on A-Un's back, they rode away. As he flew into the sky, he heard Kagome yelling after him but he didn't listen. He didn't want to hear her lies. He never wanted to see her again, no matter how much it hurt him to say that. He wouldn't let her break his fragile heart again, no, no one ever would. He would never love anyone again. Never.

// She broke his heart//

The next few months went by and no one knew how much pain he was in. When Inuyasha returned to the palace where the Western royal family lived, SesshoMaru immediately beat him up. SesshoMaru told inuyasha he was no longer welcome in his home and promptly threw him out.

SesshoMaru once again became the ice prince but he was still in pain. He couldn't forget her no matter how hard he tried. He did everything to forget her, but her memory still stayed. She hunted his dreams and conquered his nightmares. He couldn't take much more or he would surly have gone insane.

// He spent his whole life

Tryin' to forget//

SesshoMaru soon found his relief, in a new drink called whiskey. The new, imported, alcoholic drink temporarily got rid of her memories. He could rest easy, with out the worry that he would dream of her and he didn't. He didn't dream at all. Soon, he became addicted to the stuff but he didn't care, no one cared. He would drink two bottles a night and wouldn't wake up, the next day, till mid afternoon.

Soon, the other demon lords began to worry that he was drinking too much. They tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen because when they did talk to him, he was always drunk. The demon lords refused to see SesshoMaru unless he was sober so they never saw him again.

SesshoMaru told himself he could never be sober again because if he was sober, her memory would return and he didn't want that. He couldn't take the pain. But, soon, not even being drunk kept him safe from her memory. Everywhere he looked, she was there. Her large, brown, tear stained eyes pleading him to return.

" No!" he would yell when her image appeared. When this first happened, jaken would run to his master and ask him what was wrong but now, jaken didn't come. SesshoMaru couldn't take this anymore, he couldn't forget her. He had finally lost his sanity. No one, not even Kagome, could help him now.

// We watched him drink his pain away

A little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough

To get her off his mind

Until the night//

Late one cold autumn night, the night of his and Kagome's anniversary, he decided to end it. He decided to end it all. He couldn't take it anymore. He sat at his desk with a fresh bottle of whiskey at his lips as he pulled out a piece of paper and his quill pen. He worked for an hour on the note that was for Kagome. When he finally finished, he folded the paper and held it tightly in his hand. With his note in hand and his whiskey in the other, he walked over to his weapons rack and pulled down Tokijin. The blade shimmered in the light of the full moon as he raised it to his face.

SesshoMaru was disgusted with his reflection, his face was flushed, his eyes were blood shot and his hair was a mess. He couldn't believe what he had done to himself but he knew it was worth it. He lowered the blade of his sword as he took another drink of his whiskey. After he swallowed, he thought one last time about what he was about to do; he questioned whether it was the best thing for him to do. He answered his own question by drinking the last of his whiskey and throwing the bottle against the wall. He watched, in slow motion, as the bottle shattered and the pieces fell to the ground. After that, he straightened himself up as he raised Tokijin to his face again. He looked at his reflection again and said, " Goodbye."

// He put that bottle to his head

And pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

Life is short

But this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had

To get up off his knees

We found him with his face down

In the pillow

With a note that said,

" I'll lover her till I die"

When we buried him beneath

The willow

The angels sang

A Whiskey Lullaby//

SesshoMaru raised Tokijin high in the air. The moonlight reflected off the blade and onto his face. He squinted his eyes at the bright light as he prepared to do it, to end it all. After a moment's hesitation, he brought down Tokijin and stabbed himself in the heart. As the tip of the blade emerged from his back, he fell to his knees and began to cough up blood. Fresh blood trickled down his chin and the sword. Blood from his self-inflicted wound covered the blade and his hands. As he lost more and more blood, the hand that still held the handle of the sword let go of it and fell to the ground, still clutching the note.

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la//

The next morning, jaken scurried down the hall, he was late to awaken his lord. As jaken scurried, he thought of what lord SesshoMaru would do to him when he did get there. He hoped that his lord wasn't drunk like he was the last time he was late. Jaken shuddered at the memory. He soon reached the large doors that led to his lords' chamber. Before opening the doors, jaken listened to see if his lord was already awake. When he heard nothing, he opened the doors and stepped in. he was about to say it's time to awaken milord when he froze in terror.

There, on the floor, in a large pool of blood lay lord SesshoMaru. Jaken took a shaky step forward, stepping on something sharp. Jaken lifted his foot to find a shard of broken glass in it. He looked around and found the rest of the shattered bottle. Once the shard of glass was removed, he continued to move closer to his lord. Once jaken was close enough, he saw the tip of Tokijin's blade sticking out of lord SesshoMaru's back. Jaken feared the worst as he walked around to see his lords' face. Jaken looked on in pure horror as he saw his lords' face. His chin was covered with blood and his eyes were glazed over, they no longer looked as though they belonged to some one who was living. Jaken looked at where the sword had been put and his fear was realized. He saw the sword enter his lord and go right through his heart. Jaken then saw his lords' hand still holding the hilt of the sword. Jaken began to cry.

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la //

News of SesshoMaru's suicide spread faster than a forest fire. Every human, hanyou and demon knew of the young lords sudden and unexplainable death, but Kagome didn't believe it was true. ' It can't be true! It just can't be!' echoed through her mind as she rode to his castle. She had to see it with her own eyes to believe the rumors that she had heard.

As she neared the palace, Kagome saw that the courtyard was filled with demon lords. She decided to land Kirara just outside the gates. Kagome sneaked past every guard and servant and reached SesshoMaru's room. She stepped inside and began to tear up. The sight of SesshoMaru laying on his side with a sword through his chest was too much for her to bear.

She kneeled down next to him as the tears began to flow.

" Why Sessho? Why did you do this to yourself?" Kagome asked the body before her as she stroked his hair. She was just about to leave when she noticed something stuffed in his hand. Kagome gently took the piece of paper from his hand and looked at it, it had her name on it. She unfolded the bloody paper and read the note. It said,

" Dear Kagome,

I can't stop loving you, that's why I did what I did. I wanted to forget you but I couldn't. I just couldn't, you were always on my mind. I miss you so much but I can't have you come back and break my heart again. Please forgive me for what I said that day, I was too angry to let you explain and my pride wouldn't let me go back. I love you with all my broken heart. Please take good care of Rin; she's all you have left now. I love you, even now that I'm dead. I love you.

Love,

SesshoMaru"

Kagome folded the note and put in her pocket. Then, she pulled Tokijin out of SesshoMaru's heart and took it with her. Kagome then left the palace unseen, just like before. Kagome climbed on to Kirara's back and they flew back to her home. The home she once shared with SesshoMaru.

At SesshoMaru's pyre, everyone attended, even inuyasha. The smoke rose into the sky through the branches of the willow. The moon glowed brighter this night than on any other. The eyes of the demons who were present seemed to glow as well but they glowed with anger, distain, disbelief and sorrow. The ones who showed anger and distain were all glaring at Kagome. They all knew of what she had done, so naturally, they blamed her. Kagome blamed herself. It was, after all, her fault. After the fire had died, SesshoMaru's ashes were spread around the base of the willow. As the demon lords' departed, Kagome could hear every word that came out of their mouths and she cringed at them. Kagome was the last to leave. As she turned to return to Kirara, a sudden breeze swept passed her and she could have sworn she heard SesshoMaru's voice saying, " I love you."

// The rumors flew

But nobody knew

How much she blamed herself

For years and years//

Several years have passed since that horrible day. Kagome was forced to remarry to Inuyasha by her family. In the past years, Kagome has given Inuyasha a son named Shippo. When Kagome first moved in with Inuyasha, he refused to let Rin, Kagome and SesshoMaru's daughter, live with him and Kagome. After telling Inuyasha that she would refuse to live with him and kill herself if he didn't let Rin stay, he said ok.

The rumors were still around. People treated Kagome differently. They all hated her, demon, human and hanyou. They all despised her. She knew why and she didn't blame them for hating her, she hated her. It was all her fault. Even now, five years later, she still blamed herself for his death. After all, it was her fault.

// She finally drank her pain away

A little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough

To get him off her mind

Until the night//

Kagome also became addicted to whiskey for the reason that it made her forget about everything and have a good time. Inuyasha told her that he preferred her when she was drunk, he didn't state a reason. Kagome would drink two bottles a day. As long as she could forget about SesshoMaru, she would drink.

She loved how the alcohol would make her feel as free as a bird, not caged in by guilt. She loved being free; it wasn't like anything she had ever experienced before. Her love for this feeling caused her to drink even more, four bottles a day.

But, some good things don't last forever and this one was no exception. Soon, she began seeing SesshoMaru everywhere. Whether she was asleep or awake, she saw him. With his golden eyes staring straight into her soul, silently telling her that he blamed her, that he hated her, that he still loved her. Those were the things that showed in his eyes the last time she saw him alive and they still stayed in her memory, further enhancing her guilt.

Late one cold autumn night, the night SesshoMaru had died; Kagome got up and went to her closet. She searched through her many belongings, looking for something she had hidden to keep Inuyasha from finding it. After some digging, she found what she was looking for. She pulled the long, black box from the back of her closet. She set the box on her side of the bed and opened it. There, in the center of the box, surrounded by silk lay the Tokijin, still covered in SesshoMaru's blood. Kagome picked up the blade and held it in her hands. Then, she picked up the note SesshoMaru had left for her.

Kagome set Tokijin on the bed and read the note again. As she did, she began to cry. When she was finished, she noticed that there was space at the bottom. Kagome ran over to her desk and began to write a note of her own. After an hour, she was done. She looked at her note, it said,

" Dear SesshoMaru,

I too can't stop loving you. That is why I too will kill myself. I tried my hardest to forget you but I couldn't, the people wouldn't let me. They always reminded me of you by telling me I was the reason you died and you know what, they were right. I miss you too. Even though I'm married to your brother, you're still my one true love. I forgive you for what you said and did that day. I forgave you the minute you disappeared into the sky. I'm sorry I broke your heart but I didn't do it by choice. Inuyasha was trying to rape me when you came in. I don't blame you for thinking what you did. I love you with all of my shattered heart. I love you; I'll see you very soon. Love you always.

Love,

Kagome

P.S. Rin and Shippo,

I'm sorry for not being there for you but I just couldn't live like that. Living with out SesshoMaru was unbearable. I couldn't last much longer. I love you both very much. Please listen to Inuyasha; he'll be in charge of both of you now. Rin, if Inuyasha kicks you out, go live with Keade, she'll take care of you. I love you both very much and I'll never forget you.

Love,

Mom"

Kagome refolded the note and wrote, " To: Rin & Shippo" on the top of it. Kagome stuffed the note in her hand as she walked back to the bed. She picked up Tokijin and looked at the bloody blade. She didn't clean it off because then SesshoMaru would go with the blood. She didn't want SesshoMaru's presence to leave her. She felt two hands surround hers and help them lift Tokijin high in the air. She felt someone standing behind her and she knew who it was.

" I'm coming SesshoMaru, please stay with me till I get there."

// She put that bottle to her head

And pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short

But this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had

To get up off her knees

We found her with her face down

In the pillow

Clinging to his picture

For dear life

We laid her next to him

Beneath the willow

As the angels sang

A Whiskey Lullaby//

Kagome took one last breath before she did it. She felt the hands grasp hers in a firm hold as she brought Tokijin down and trough her heart. Blood flowed form her mouth like a river as she fell to her knees. Blood flowed down the sword and covered her hands as she fell to her side. When her head hit the floor, the hand with the note in it released the hilt of the blade. Her eyes began to glaze over as she mouthed the words, " I'm here Sessho, I'm here."

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la //

The echo of children's feet sounded through the hollow halls of the palace. The laughter of children could be heard if you listened carefully. Rin and Shippo were heading for their mothers room to wake her up. This is what would always happen when Inuyasha was off on important lord business. Even after 5 years, Inuyasha still couldn't finish the war that SesshoMaru had started.

Rin reached Kagome's room first. She opened the doors, ran in and jumped on the bed. She noticed that her mom wasn't in bed so she looked around. As Rin looked around her stepfathers half of the room, she noticed a red liquid on the floor next to Kagome's side of the bed. Rin slowly walked over to see were the red stuff was coming from when she saw a terrible site. Just then, Shippo came in the room. Rin ran over to her little half brother and covered his eyes. She pulled Shippo close and told him to get jaken. Shippo nodded and ran to retrieve the green imp.

Moments later, Shippo arrived with jaken. Rin told jaken something was wrong and pointed to Kagome's side of the bed. Jaken went over to investigate. Rin grabbed Shippo when he tried to follow. Rin told Shippo, " You're too young to see this." Shippo nodded his head in understanding. Jaken returned and told the two to stay put while he sent word to Inuyasha. Rin and Shippo nodded their heads as jaken left to send a messenger.

After jaken was gone, Rin let go of Shippo and walked back over to her mother. Rin kneeled down and began to cry. Shippo ran over to Rin when he heard her crying. When he saw why she was crying, he began to cry as well. As Rin cried, through her tears, she saw the note in Kagome's hand. Rin pulled the note out and opened it. She sat on the bed as she read the note to herself. When Shippo saw Rin reading something he asked, " What's that?" Rin responded with, " A note, to us, that was in moms hand." Shippo climbed up on the bed and sat next to Rin.

" Please read it to me Rin." Pleaded Shippo. Rin smiled at her little half brother and nodded her head. Rin cleared her throat as she began to read.

" Dear Kagome," Rin began. "I can't stop loving you, that's why I did what I did. I wanted to forget you but I couldn't. I just couldn't, you were always on my mind. I miss you so much but I can't have you come back and break my heart again. Please forgive me for what I said that day, I was too angry to let you explain and my pride wouldn't let me go back. I love you with all my broken heart. Please take good care of Rin; she's all you have left now. I love you, even now that I'm dead. I love you. Love, SesshoMaru"

Rin took a long, shaky breath before reading her mothers note.

" Dear SesshoMaru," she began. "I too can't stop loving you. That is why I too will kill myself. I tried my hardest to forget you but I couldn't, the people wouldn't let me. They always reminded me of you by telling me I was the reason you died and you know what, they were right. I miss you too. Even though I'm married to your brother, you're still my one true love. I forgive you for what you said and did that day. I forgave you the minute you disappeared into the sky. I'm sorry I broke your heart but I didn't do it by choice. Inuyasha was trying to rape me when you came in." Shippo then interrupted with a question.

" Rin, what's 'rape' mean?" he asked.

Rin thought a moment then answered, " It's when a man forces a woman to mate with him." Shippo nodded his head, signaling her to continue.

" I don't blame you for thinking what you did. I love you with all of my shattered heart. I love you; I'll see you very soon. Love you always. Love, Kagome" Rin stopped a moment so she could wipe the tears from her eyes.

" P.S. Rin and Shippo, I'm sorry for not being there for you but I just couldn't live like that. Living with out SesshoMaru was unbearable. I couldn't last much longer. I love you both very much. Please listen to Inuyasha; he'll be in charge of both of you now. Rin, if Inuyasha kicks you out, go live with Keade, she'll take care of you. I love you both very much and I'll never forget you. Love, Mom"

Rin folded the note and put it in her pocket. Then she and Shippo began to cry again.

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la //

The harvest moon shown brightly through the smoke that was rising from the pyre. The flames danced as Kagome's body turned to ashes. Inuyasha held his two children close as his eyes filled with tears. When Inuyasha had heard of Kagome's death, he made the decision that he would take care of Rin, for Kagome's sake.

After the fire died, Kagome's ashes were spread around the base of the willow where SesshoMaru's ashes were spread. The small party that had gathered that night began to depart. Inuyasha began to leave, not noticing that Rin and Shippo had failed to follow him.

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la //

The two children stood still as the moonlight began to fill the branches of the willow. The children watched as the light made the ashes sparkle. This reminded Rin of her mothers note. She pulled out the blood stained paper. She unfolded it and placed it at the base of the willow, a solemn reminder of the two lovers whose ashes where laid there. After setting the note down, Rin took Shippo's hand and proceeded to leave.

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la //

After the children were gone, a soft breeze flew through the willow. On this breeze, crying could be heard. Then, in one of the moonlight beams, a woman's image appeared. She was translucent and she was crying. The woman sat against the tree and picked up the note. Her sobs echoed through the cold night like a ghostly howl. " I'm sorry Sessho. I'm really sorry. I love you more life itself and I've proven it by dieing. Please come back to me. Please!" She began to cry again.

Unbeknownst to the woman, the one she was speaking of was on the other side of the tree, listening silently as she continued to cry. The translucent young man stood and walked around the tree to his lovers' side. He pulled the crying woman into his embrace. He began rocking her while he cooed sweet things in her ear, hoping to calm her down. When she was emotionally stable, the woman looked up into her lovers' eyes and said, " I missed you, SesshoMaru."

" I missed you too, Kagome." He whispered that as if it were a secret only she was aloud to hear. " I've been so lonely with out you. I'm glad you're hear now." He said.

" You forgive me? I thought you hated me." she said surprised.

" I forgave you the moment I got home. I love you Kagome, nothing you can do can change that. I promise."

SesshoMaru sealed that promise with a kiss. He poured out all his feelings into that kiss. Kagome happily accepted the kiss, for she had been waiting for it for five long years. As the two lovers kissed, the gates of heaven opened and they flew in together.

// La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la

La la la la la la la //

After that, she never broke his heart again. They stayed in love, for all eternity.