Inmates by PublicDisaster

This Must Be A Joke

Yes, another new story, but this one was a challenge that I took up about a year ago, so it was about time I got the first chapter done. The challenge was one off of A Single Spark, the person who issued the challenge is Maridey. This is a different approach to Kagome's character for me, she is more on the bad side, as in she'll kick your ass if you look at her funny, so I hope you enjoy. Please read and review. This dedicated Roadkill2580 and Jamie aka, two wonderful writers, that just happen to be friends of mine. I love you both!

WARNING: I checked the spelling/grammar, but I doubt I got it all. Lemon is a yes!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, and the plot is only a little bit mine.

"Inmate 652739."

"What has she done now?"

"She killed inmate 483761, and inmate 957826.

What should we do next?"

"Simple, we will have to send her away."

A woman walked around a courtyard, she looked innocent enough with her wavy black hair and warm brown eyes. No one would ever have guessed that she was a cold blooded killer.

As she walked she could feel them following her, they had been trying to get her in a fight ever since she got to the prison, but she never gave them the pleasure of seeing her fight. She could take them all without a problem, but she did not want to waste her time playing with a group of fucking skanks.

"Higurashi."

Kagome's POV

The bitch was back, calling my name as per usual. She doesn't give up, and that very trait is going to get her killed, and very soon.

"Slut-sama, whatever can this humble servant do for your grand slutyness?" I could not resist pissing her off, all she has done since I got here is try and fight me, well today just may be her chance.

I could see the fiore build in her eyes, she wanted so bad to hit me, but she was holding back, like I would let her touch me anyway. I do not like trash touching me, and she was the best example of trash.

"You could drop dead." she answered through gritted teeth, this made me smirk, I love getting under her skin.

"Not before you." I replied in a calm, smooth voice, I knew this would really make her mad, me not caring about her supposed threat to my well-being.

As if on cue, she lunged at me, her lackeys not even knowing what was going on. I dodged her attack easily since I knew it was coming, that and I knew how she fought. Everyday she would seem to get into a fight, and everyday I sat by and watched, soon I knew every move that she knew.

"I'm going to kill you, you stupid bitch!" she screamed as she threw a punch towards my face, she barely missed it which surprised the hell out of me, but not enough that I would mess up while fighting her.

I decided that it was time that I made my own attack, so I threw a kick at her to see if she could dodge it, she couldn't. She flew straight to the ground, but got up almost right after she left. That did not surprise me though, she had been here longer than me, so it would only make sense that she would be in fighting shape, besides I had seen her fight, she was not one to go down that easily, until I came at least.

"Fuck you!" I yelled at her as I punched her in the ribs, smiling as I heard a loud crack.

Kikyou hit the ground again, this time pain was evident on her face. I was never one to kick someone while they were down, I had honor that way, but Kikyou was an exception. I walked slowly over to her, just now realizing that I had a small cut on my cheek, she had somehow cut me.

"You made me bleed." I said to her, my eyes narrowing, I did not like to bleed.

I kicked her once in the stomach before I saw her lackeys running over, I suppose a late response to seeing their leader on the ground, groaning in pain. I got into a fighting stance, but before I had a chance to take care of them, the guards started coming. I knew I would be punished, after all, Kikyou was Naraku's little whore.

"Inmate 652739, you are to come with us, Naraku wants to see you." one of the meaner looking guards said as he grabbed my arm, it would have hurt if I felt pain,but I have not felt that in years.

"Take her to the doctor, now!" he yelled to the other guards as they gathered Kikyou.

As they left with her, I shot her a smirk, I knew she would want revenge, and I also knew she would not be able to even try to get in for a while. After the other guards left with Kikyou, the one that had me by the arm, I will call him Captain Sewer Rat, tugged my arm (harder than needed, of course) and led me back inside.

After we got inside and through all of the security gates, I was now handcuffed and chained, we finally made it to Naraku's fortress of solitude, or the place I like to call hell. Once we were inside I remembered why I hated this place so much, it was not that it was dark, or even the fact that it was freezing, nope none of that. The reason I hated this place so much was the man sitting behind the desk straight ahead of me.

"Ah, inmate 652739, Kagome. What a displeasure it is to see you again." she sneered at me, but of course I was use to this by now, he treated me the same way from day one.

I suppose it had something to do with the rumors of him being gay spread, of course if I knew he was banging Kikyou, then I would have said he was a bi drag queen instead, but he did not seem to want to tell me who he was and was not banging, of course I really did not want to know.

"Naraku, my, you do get older by the day, how sad." I retorted, I knew I was in for some punishment, perhaps a month or two in the pit, but it was worth it.

"Hm. Same lack of manners I see, I suppose we could beat some into you, but you very well may like that." he said, waving his hand to dismiss the forgotten guard.

When the door shut Naraku got up and made his way around his desk to stand in front of me, he was smirking like the idiot I knew he was. Sadistic idiot, but idiot none the less.

"Sorry, not a kinky little whore like Kikyou, but I bet once her ribs heal she'll be more than happy to play with you." yes, that statement earned me a slap, it sort of tickled.

"Naraku, I never knew you cared." I said, sarcastically of course, as he scowled at me.

"Of course I do my dear Kagome, that is why you will not be sent to the pit for your little, mishaps." he said, the scowl still present, but no true lies behind his words.

No pit? Then how would I be punished, I knew he would not just let me go after what I did to his favorite play thing.

"You instead, will be sent away. I do so very much hope that you have heard of the Shikon Prison For Men." he said, the scowl becoming a smirk as she watched my face, I tried to hide my surprise, but it was a shock to me.

"Good, because that will be your new home for oh, the rest of your life. I do hope you settle in there, I hear the men are really nice." his smirk grew, but faded when I slapped him.

If I was going out, then I was going out with a bang, preferably a bang to the side of his head with something heavy, but no such luck when he called the guard back in. The guard brought a stunner, it took full blast to bring me to my feet, and that is when they stuck me with the needle.

"Naraku, you'll pay for this, I promise you." I got that out before my eyes closed, I could feel everything that was going on, but I could not respond.

I fell asleep at some point during my little 'unable to do a damn thing' period, so as soon as I woke up I noticed that I was not in my cell. Instead, I was in a holding van, I was shackled to the wall of the van, and right across from me sat a prison guard, a gun in hand, glaring at me like I was the most disgusting thing that he had ever seen. I suppose most inmates are treated like this, but I have a feeling Naraku had something to do with this one. I sat up the best that I could, the guards eyes narrowing as he watched me, his gun ready to fire if I tried anything, yeah, Naraku's doing. They should know by now that I would not try to escape this way, I would think of some clever plan that would leave them all feeling stupid when they realized just how obvious it was.

"How long until we get there?" I asked, the silence was not bothering me, it was the bumpy ride and the holes he was glaring at my head that made me want to know how long it would take to get to my new 'home'.

At first he just looked at me, kind of like I was crazy, then the glaring began anew.

"Just a few more hours." he finally answered, his voice not betraying what his eyes were telling me.

"Good, I hate car rides, they make me cranky, and you wouldn't like to see me cranky." I playfully said as I stretched as far as I could, not even watching to see what he was doing.

If I was going to be here, then I was going to be comfortable, or as comfortable as I could be in a cold van on a bumpy rode with an idiot glaring at me. I sat back down, still not looking at the guard as I studied my nails, they were long, but not nearly as smooth as they had once been.

"I really need to find a nail file, and maybe some lotion." I thought to myself with a sigh.

The next few hours flew by, you know, if flew by meant that they were slow as hell. I did not talk to that guy again, I just sat there and did everything I could being trapped to a metal wall. When the van stopped I was so happy, I wanted to stretch my legs some, they ached when I sat for that long. The guard unchained me from the wall, but he left the handcuffs and leg chains on, as he told me to stand up, pointing the gun at me as he led me from the van.

"Well, this must be our special guest. I am Kaguya, and you belong to me now." a woman that looked and awful lot like Naraku said as she looked me up and down, she had a smirk, one just like Naraku had before I was knocked out.

"I will take her from here, go and tell Naraku I will take special care of this treasure.' the Kaguya woman said as she pulled her own gun out and led me away from the van.

I looked up the the main entrance, the entrance to my new home. I could not help the smirk as I thought about all of the trouble I could get into here.

Sorry it was short, but the next chapter SHOULD be twice the length. I hope you liked it, let me know what you thought of it.

Chapter two (snippet)

"Bitch, you better watch your tongue." he said, now standing right infront of me.

I did not waste anytime in wrapping my legs around his neck, cutting of his air supply. His pale, ugly face was now turning blue, he began to squirm, trying to get out of my hold.

"Now who's the bitch?" I asked as I squeezed tighter.