Reviews for Face Off! by nautical_paramour
marquisha- Sat 21 Jun 2008
toni- Sat 21 Jun 2008
chareese- Sat 07 Jun 2008
Physical_Graffiti- Mon 05 May 2008
black moon inu- Mon 05 May 2008
hugs and puppies
daapatemysoul- Sun 04 May 2008
Firstly, there seems to be this constant idea that everyone wants Sesshomaru. While its not hard to imagine why (he is Sesshomaru, after all), it makes for an odd element in the story. Heck, even Kagome assumes the only girls would approach him is for sex. It just doesn't make the story flow well at all.
Secondly, there are a few flaws in your grammar/spelling which coulkd be caught by a beta in a brief read through. I'd recommend one. For instance, "“Mr. Are you Kagome-sensei’s boyfriend?â€Â
". "Mr." should have been "Mister".
Thirdly, re-read all your chpaters at least 3 times and edit each time before posting. This will help will not only the spelling/grammar errors, but also with the flow of the story. You rush through things- take your time, use details, explain this more thoroughly.
Like I said, great idea, very creative, but the execution could use a bit of work.
Clover_babe- Sun 04 May 2008
Tapas Tango? hmm. i smell practically hot sex on the floor.
XD
oh no! Sessho's gonna be the demon icicle now? oh poo. wonder what set him off. update when you can please!
jasmine- Sun 04 May 2008
JustalilTwisted- Mon 21 Apr 2008
Face Off!
An unusual name...very, I pondered.
That term sounded familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. Suddenly it hit me...hockey!
I love hockey. It may be a Canadian thing, or just a Grandparents-that-are-uber-in-love-with-hockey-thing but I have loved hockey for as long as I've known what hockey is.
I love the idea of Sesshoumaru being a hockey player. Seriously, I think hockey players have the best builds out of the other sports players. (i.e. baseball, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, and most likely rugby)
Well, I was going to write my own hockey story, but I think I will put it off for a while. There can only be one hockey story right now.
I had a baseball one in mind, too. Perhaps I will drabble there.
Well, keep on working hard. It looks really good to me so far. I've only read the first chapter, though. I have to get ready to go to school, but I will finish reading and reviewing when I get home.
Buh-byes!
-JustalilTwisted (formerly Sesshoumaru's Fiend)
Clover_babe- Sun 20 Apr 2008
Kaggie is effin' lucky as hell!
hahhaha.
*sigh* being in the presence of all those gorgeous men.
XD
it was nice that Bank was looking out for Kaggie and that we found out some more stuff about Kagome.
loved the whole strip poker thing. it was something i could seriously see all of them doing. haha.
pshhhh. fur ser Kaggie and Sessho's relationship is going in a decent pace. hell if i were Kaggie, i would've jumped Sessho first time i saw him.
XD
tilayha- Sun 20 Apr 2008
cant wait for the next chapter!
Tilayha
marquisha- Sun 20 Apr 2008
marquisha- Sun 20 Apr 2008
TheMikoShivae- Sat 19 Apr 2008
aliissa- Sat 19 Apr 2008
jasmine- Sat 19 Apr 2008
twilightluver95- Sat 19 Apr 2008
Amber- Sun 13 Apr 2008
toni- Thu 10 Apr 2008
Jasmine- Thu 10 Apr 2008
alissa- Thu 10 Apr 2008
swasdiva- Wed 09 Apr 2008
hope_midnight- Sun 16 Mar 2008
tir3dgurl- Sun 16 Mar 2008
TouchFire- Sun 16 Mar 2008
Oh, and I don't recommend using online translators for foreign languages. But, I'll help you edit the sentences in French, if you want. Wouldn't want angry French people trying to kill you through the Internet. lol totally kidding.
Your Sentence:
vous êtes si beau. nous sommes si heureux de vous avoir suivre notre équipe humble cette année, et particulièrement notre tenez le premier rôle, Sesshomaru.
The Fix:
"Vous êtes belle!" - first sentence.
"Nous sommes honorer que vous souhaitez suivre notre equipe cette année, Sesshoumaru en particulier."
That sounds about right.
tir3dgurl- Sun 16 Mar 2008
emmaren- Sun 16 Mar 2008
Oh could you post a translation of the French. I am barely mono-lingual.
Emily
Aurora- Sun 16 Mar 2008
TONI- Sat 15 Mar 2008
clover_babe- Sat 15 Mar 2008
its "the look."
XD
yay! i smell chemistry crackling between them.
wooo. can't wait til the next chappy.
iloveprettysilverhair- Sat 15 Mar 2008
hope_midnight- Sat 15 Mar 2008
Nya- Fri 14 Mar 2008
Aurora- Fri 14 Mar 2008
jasmine- Fri 14 Mar 2008
KariD- Fri 14 Mar 2008
Oh, and ur other story, the blood countess one. amazinggg. keep on updatingg! lol. i'll keep checking back to see if it has! ^_^
clover_babe- Fri 14 Mar 2008
you totally hooked me already.
that's cute that you made Kaggie a ballet instructor and how Sessho gets a wee bit jealous when she's not paying attention to him.
hmmmm. not use to girls ignoring you, huh Sessho?
XD
update when you can!
twitrek- Fri 14 Mar 2008
Lady Symoné- Fri 14 Mar 2008
Ryuudo- Fri 14 Mar 2008
It makes me happy!
Please continue writing!
White Dire Wolf- Thu 13 Mar 2008
White Dire Wolf- Thu 13 Mar 2008
captaintori88- Thu 13 Mar 2008
hope_midnight- Thu 13 Mar 2008
Its different, please continue...
twitrek- Thu 13 Mar 2008
Please, continue this fic. I really enjoyed the first chapter.
First of all, I think it's awesome that the "naughty thing" Kagome did is publish an article on the environment.
I don't think it's a stretch to see Sesshomaru as a hockey player. I do have reasons why, but I'll hold my tongue. I'd rather see where you take it.
Cheers! ~ twitrek
katie- Thu 13 Mar 2008
emmaren- Thu 13 Mar 2008
tapanga- Thu 13 Mar 2008