Ok, you seem to have a good plot to this fic, but there is no emotion, no description other then, "they walked" "they spoke", and this leaves people confused and very interested.

holy shit!...ten pups!....

damn they were busy...lol

You really should not put ever time. Kagome's/Sesshoumaru's/third POV. It get annoying. Find a better way to do it. It needs to transition with ease more or less. I think you have a good idea going, just how you are writing needs work.

aww that was so cute i like it keep up the good work

Not bad but am not a huge fan of songfic its bit a turn off for me , and your POV is kinda confusing yes i know you have 3rd person POV which make it confusing for me . Anyway am not saying your story is horrble and am telling you its not .

Just be careful with the 3rd person point view . but thanks for uploading your work .

Sommer

Not bad but am not a huge fan of songfic its bit a turn off for me , and your POV is kinda confusing yes i know you have 3rd person POV which make it confusing for me . Anyway am not saying your story is horrble and am telling you its not .

Just be careful with the 3rd person point view . but thanks for uploading your work .

Sommer