lunaticneko- Sun 09 Mar 2008
I love it! >,

shikon goddess- Sat 08 Mar 2008
Wow. I like this and where it's going I can't waut to see. Hope that you update soon.

burgundyburning- Sat 08 Mar 2008
I love the turn in this chapter. So romantic. Sigh. I love when Sesshoumaru's beast emerges during sex. I thought for a moment he would lose control and mark her as his. Maybe next time. I can't wait.

me579- Tue 05 Feb 2008
gosh darnet women its been 3 whole days when r u gonna update !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! need 2 know wut happens nxt so hurry-up ps:peace+luv+respect=happieness

bluemoon_175- Sat 02 Feb 2008
I love the story and can't wait to read more so I hope you keep up the job welll done, and try and update as soon as you can.

sweetest angel- Sat 02 Feb 2008
That was a really great chapter! *grin* I can't wait to read more of your story. Please please update soon!!!!

mimi g- Sat 02 Feb 2008
all I could say is damn! I like it are you going to continue cause it could get eally interesting that the dreams still return and that they still need each other. Hmm just an idea

anakatanaia- Sat 02 Feb 2008
Hi;
You asked for reviews, and I guess I'm the first. I think you have a good idea here, and I can see where it might be going, but before you proceed, I wanted to suggest that you obtain a beta reader/editor to help you.

There mixed verb tenses, and left out words (Kagome's head snapped -- I think you meant snapped back, since otherwise she wouldn't have a head anymore :) Things like "bombarding" her privacy -- and battling his "dominancy" are a few examples. Punctuation, lack of commas where they are needed, and a few sentences possibly reworked.

That said, I think you have genuine potential to write well and it's always difficult to subject one's writing to a public audience. I understand how difficult that can be, especially with a lemon - even without, allowing people to read what you've written is a very brave thing to do.

Kagome's inner thoughts - nicely done, Inuyasha is very much in character, also very nicely done. The flow of the story, from dream to present to his dream to present to them together - very good.

There are lots of things to praise, and I think that if you asked one of your friends, or found someone here (I think there is a list of people who edit/beta read here on this site - but be careful, pick someone you are sure of, someone who you know will be able to sort out any errors and explain the why of it to you - that's how we learn :)

All in all, I would continue to read this story, and I want you to read this review as a positive, not a negative - it's good to know where your strengths are in a story, and where the things are that need work -- I think that's preferable to someone just saying "oh yeah great" because that doesn't tell you where it was great and where it was less so.

Good luck, and keep writing, I look forward to the next chapter and hope you find a good editor/beta to assist you (every writer no matter how brilliant they are, how many books they've published, has an editor... suggesting one is by no means negative, it's positive :)

mortefille- Sat 02 Feb 2008
Wow!! And did you say this was you first fic. Omg I can't believe that. I really can't. And for your first lemon damn you seamed very good at it. I don't know what to say. But yeah please update. I loved it. And I can't believe Kagome's being unfaithful. hahah. I love it. .>.

Amadoni- Sat 02 Feb 2008
A good beginning. I would like to see you update this fic soon. Ja ne.

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