While this may turn out to be an interesting story, you need to re-check your basics - such as formatting. Having everything centered and in capitals is very distracting. It appears that the whole chapter "shouts" at the reader.

I look forward to seeing more of this story.

Meara

I like it but I hope that there will be more to it. I mean Sesshomaru needs to come save her obviously.

I like it but I hope that there will be more to it. I mean Sesshomaru needs to come save her obviously.