Now, I know this story is older, but I'd like to point out a few things. First, this is NOT a critisizing review. First, most people already know a lot of the terms you use. Second, I like the fact that you took facts from the actual Anime/Manga and put them to such good use.
And final, I don't really like Kikyou, but you are a good author, so I assume you have a good plot for her. And some encouragment, maybe you should think about making characters of your own and publishing your own work. I know I would like some new reading material. Lol
Signed,
jammeroberts420@gmail.com.
ps. If you'd like to contact me, this is a good email address to use.

I really enjoyed this and am looking forward to more. I did notice what I believe was an error. It was the night that Inuyasha was human and comforting Kagome. You wrote about him jumping to the tree to a high branch with her and running his clawed hand through her hair. He wouldn't be able to do those things as a human.

yiu didn't tell uswhat happens between kagome and sesshoumaru....XD is there gonna be a sequel?

Huh. The writing itself semed fine, but the plot was just a little too hard to buy into. Kagome as alpha of any pack that included Inuyasha, let alone Sesshomaru?! In fantasy, the ability to suspend disbelief is paramount. I couldn't.

Very lovely story! but you made a few mistakes. towards the end of this chapter they were talking and you said that kagome looked at sesshoumaru and he was running his fingers through his long, white hair. This happened a few times. i think you are getting the actual image of sesshoumaru confused with your human image, the one with black hair. Overall great story, i love the plot and it is well written. I suggest you get a beta if you dont already have one that is.

There were a few mistakes. like in one chapter when Sesshoumaru was still human and he was in the hot springs with Kagome. it said that he was running his hands through his silver strands of hair. this happened a few times. i think you were confusing Sesshoumaru's actual image to the one you created. but overall a very good plot and well writen. though i suggest you get a beta if you dont already have one.

Good ending. Can't wait to read the next part.

One Question... Sequel?????????? Plz?????? I want to know what happens.

~zen

I really have enjoyed your writings and i can not wait to see what comes up next. Sorry for posting twice i detest typos and my phone loves to do them. Keep up the good work.

I had read your story and i was reading over your list of things you were trying to avoid. Well you made a comment about vampires. Well the concept is different and difficult. A pure blooded vampire is not dead and are able to reproduce. They are impotent both male and female until their late twenties when they are frozen to immorality. They can eat normal food and though they can feed from a human it doesn't sustain them long. They mostly drink from their own kind. Their are half breeds who sometimes do not go through the change and those that do may mont be affected by the sun. Females go into intense heat. Males react strongly to it. Another theory is that a vampire or dark one will find their bride and their body will awaken and once mated can reproduce with her. The last thing i can offer is a human male recently turned has a week before he no longer has sperm to reproduce. The child almost never survives. If so they are not affected by the sun or drink blood. They drink blood to speed healing.

I had read your story and i was reading over your list of things you were trying to avoid. Well you made a comment about vampires. Well the concept is different and difficult. A pure blooded vampire is not dead and are able to reproduce. They are impotent both male and female until their late twenties when they are frozen to immorality. They can eat normal food and though they can feed from a human it doesn't sustain then long. They mostly drink from their own kind. Their are half breeds who sometimes do not in through the change and those that do may mont be affected by the sun. They are able to mate and reproduce. Females go into intense heat. Males react sunnily to it. Another theory is that a vampire or dark one will find their bride and their body will awaken and once mated can reproduce with her. The last tiesy i can offer is a human make recently turned has a week before he no longer has sperm to reproduce. The child almost never survives. If so they are not affected by the sun or drink blood.

That was awsome~!!! >,
i didn't know u were making this intio 3 books. it will be interesting to see what you do with the others. though this looks like more trhan friendship to me :P

THis is a really great story!Keep it up!Please update soon.
Keonna

oh my god! u were gone so long i though ud gone and died! post again soon cuz ur fanfic rocks my socks!

wonderful, especially the rough draft part- haven't seen that used. hope you update again soon

Hah, rough draft. Love it! Um, noticed some typos, and I remember thinking that you spelled or translated a Japanese word wrong earlier, but I dont remember what any of those things were.
This is pretty much a review for all 6 chapters...
Great story, havent seen Sesshomaru turned into a human before in any stories. I also didnt notice Shippou actually calling Kagome 'momma Kag' which, I'm glad for, cause I dont really like the way that sounds when I imagine Shippou saying it. I dont really get why you're having Kikyo be such a bitch, but its great since its not her being all nice just cause Kagome let her into the group... Though, now she's being a bit thick-headed and she's much smarter than that. Liking how you've got Inuyasha and Kagome showing how they feel toward each other just a bit, as opposed to the extremes you see in other fics, but Jaken is just a bit too nice, even after all this time spent in the groups presence. All in all, its great and I cant wait to see more... But you might want to find a beta.

Easy question, Gun Grave.

I have one thing to say to kikyo... Ouch! Burned!!!...

Methinks that kikyo will turn homicidal towards that.
~zen

I really like this fic, specially cause you haven´t fall into most of the classic Kag/Sess cliches. Hope to read more of it soon!

mmmm... Magnum Crypt? I'd risk Hellsing.

Woo-hoo! I've never had a chapter dedicated to me before:):):)

Anyway, great chapter - my favorite part was Inuyasha's response during the color game: "Shard is not a color wench!" he shot back without thinking. I burst out laughing.

I saw a mental image of Sesshoumaru rolling his eyes at his brother's lack of sense. Of course it would have to be an internal eye-roll - Lord Sesshoumaru could hardly do something so undignified:)

What Anime is this? guess: Death Note

I think Kagome is doing a great job being the Alpha female. However, I would think she would be spending spare time researching the curse Sesshoumaru is under.

hmmm.... would it be OParts Hunter???

I like the story!

~zen

that was quite good. I love that you incorperated family into the whole theme of the story. it really brightens it up. I still don't know how you are going to get sess with kagome but i guess that will just have to be a mystery. Can;t wait to read more and hope that your next chapter will be up soon. =D

this is so cool! luv it!

update really soon please da best fic ever

i like you fic. keep it up!

fruits basket!!

Fruits Baskets?

Okay, great new chapter, but my favorite part of this story is still Sesshoumaru and Jaken's reaction to Rin when she talks about SoutaXD.

And I think the answer to this chapter's "What Anime is This?" is Fruits Basket.

this is fun! hope you continue to update

Um... I don't know... is it Sailor Moon?
Cause you know it is!

Darn, mean to add this to the other 1 & I forgot about it. In the fight with the tiger you said Miroku didn't use his wind tunnel because of the shard BUT with Naraku dead he wouldn't have the wind tunnel any more. That was 1 of the reasons Miroku is after Naraku, so that the curse of the wind tunnel will be broken at Naraku's death & he won't die of it like his father & grandfather did. Hope this is helpful.

I like the fic so far, you do seem to have left out a bit in chapter 3 though, the part where the gang wake up & make plans for the day so the going in Kikyou's chosen direction for 2 hours doesn't make much sense. Hope this helps.

What can you do about spiteful lusting youkai? Poor Sesshoumaru.

You are just so mean to poor sesshomaru. But I guess that is one way for him to understand humans better. the answer to your game is sailor moon.

Mother is "okaa-san". The long vowel sound in the romaji is important. (^_^)

it's a good story, moves a little slow for a short story or novella, but good all the same. thought i would point a couple of errors out:
on slot is spelled onslaught
outburst is one word
downpour is one word
there were a few others, but on the whole, very good.

Hey I love "I am Alpha" . I can't wait to see how kag and sess are going to act around each other. I hate what happened to her family, but it was a creative way to get souta in the past. please put me on the update list.
Thank You
Leslie

besides a few minor spelling errors I am liking this story. can't wait for them to begin the new hunt

tilayha

I now understand why they put the send update button on the main fanfic page. I always wondered about that. I thought it would be more prudent to put the view reviews button next to the title of the story. But I get it now.

I saw your name. I saw the update. I haven't even read the updated chapter(s?) yet, and I'm all excited. You did that with your story. You rock. And, you just made my night.

your fic really caught my attention. i mean its so sad in the beginning & i couldn't help but feel very sad. i'm glad that kagome is doing her best to take care of souta since the situation with their little family. looking forward to your next update. ceira

yay sesshoumaru and kagome are probbably going to meet up in the next chapter. right . well i hope soo i thought souta was going to say somthing about jaken and ah-un since this is his first time metting lower demons or the just plain ugly. i would be freaked out. any way love the update. and is this going to be the last time you mention kags dad. its a bit sad. oh and when their father was looking for them did he want to kill them or somthing. anyway thank you for updating
love from me bye

I love it. I haven't read anything this well written in awhile. Great Job!

Well I like it so far. Talking about clichés poor Kaede speaking in bad Elizabethan English is one. In the Japanese version of the anime she speaks formally, since English doesn't have a formal version you could probably get away with pretty much normal speach patterns as long as you don't use modern kiddie type talk.

that was bloody awsome. when is sesshoumaru going to come in and is kagomes father going to the feudal era i for soem reson can just imagine him teaming up with naraku any way update soon
love frome me

wow...please update soon. I'm very interested to see where this is going...faving right now...*click*