This is really good. But could you please fix the spelling error in the first few chapters? You were spelling 'child' as 'chilled' or something like that. Thanks! This is a really good story.

Hey, hey hey! whats the hold up here. You better update this oh so great fanfic of yours or death will conquer me.

Oh well I guess I'll never know how it ends. good job anyways.

-Dani.

*blushes* Horrible thing is..I just noticed something I missed the first time over. I feel so bad.

In the last chatper...this sentence...

Darkness took over again and she felt herself floating to consciousness.

It should be unconsciousness!! AH! What kind of beta am I to miss that??? *crawls away in shame*

Anyway. I don't deserve much kudos, I think. It's really all you. Update soon!

Seriously. I love you.

But the word is CHILD. Not chilled. Wish not whish. For the love of Pete, you need a beta. I really love this story but the spelling mistakes are really distracting. They have a section here if you need to find yourself a beta-reader. Or, if you like, I wouldn't mind volunteering some time to help you out.

Because this story is really good. It's got an interesting plot and you have a great imagination, but it's really hard to make it past the spelling. (Please, don't think I'm slamming you or flaming or anything because I really like this story. I just want to help out, that's all.)

Give me an email if you like, and I'll go through your chapters and fix stuff up. Or, if not...that's cool.

*shivers up spine* omgosh thats good!!! *stands there mouth open* ...u left me hanging!!! *drops over dead*

*shivers up spine* omgosh thats good!!! *stands there mouth open* ...u left me hanging!!! *drops over dead*

Please update soon! I don't like being left in suspence.

Ok, there is a slew of misspelled words in your story - but one of them has my nerves rattling.

Chilled is what happened to the drink that you put your ice in this morning.

CHILD is what your parents make.

Please fix it.

Thanks

I love this story. I really do. But please, you're spelling child wrong. You can become chilled or eat chilled grapes, but you can't use it any other way.

I suggest you find a beta reader to help you with stuff like that. I know things often slip through the cracks. That's what a beta is there for. To find the mistakes you didn't.

Really great story. A beta might be helpful, though. A very helpful beta can check the story for flow, consistency, and spelling and grammatical errors. A less helpful one can do something about spelling anyway, Very helpful if you have issues with dictionaries. Anyway, I hope you write another chapter soon, because I'm very interested to see where this will go!

This is an interesting story. I like that you aren't throwing them in bed together right away. However, you might consider finding a beta to look it over. The word confusions get a little distracting at times.

Please take a bit of pride in your effotts. It appears that you have a very good storyline, but you make no effort to proof your work. Take your summary for example:

"Naraku needs Kagome to fulfill his evile plans and he actualy gets her. The world as they know it now depends on how old enemys can work as allys and on a girl's power to put back together the peaces of her heart."

As you have presented it, most people would be totally turned off and never even look at your story. The poor spelling is enough to make most readers shun this fic and move to another one. How you present your efforts makes a difference in whether or not you grab the attention of your readers.

The summary would look a lot more appealing like this:

"Naraku needs Kagome to fulfill his evil plans and he actually gets her. The world as they know it, now depends on how old enemies can work as allies, and on a girl's power to put back together the pieces of her heart."

This also holds true for the titles of your chapters. Example: Both of the titles that you have for chapter one are blatantly showing a disregard for consistancy and correct spelling. It also shows that neither spell check or a dictionary was used.

"It Now Beginnes" and "It Now Beguines" are both wrong. "It Now Begins" is the corrected spelling for this title.

Also, no one has 'hear' on the top of their heads. That stuff that you use a brush or comb to make look nice is called 'hair'. "Hear" is what you do with your ears. It is not 'increacingly', but 'increasingly'.

Trying to post your best and make such changes helps to attrack more readers, avoid flamers, and shows that you are taking at least some pride in doing your best. Post work with such glaring errors only shows that you either skip your English classes, have no concept of what a dicitonary is, or that you just do not care about the work that you do.

I like your story putting the depressive into action, but subtly enough that you don't overpower the plot.

Juhu I Love it ^^ Sesshomaru/Hiei and Youko are my favourites Charas and I´m soo happy that they are in this Story ^^ So Please update soon ^^

Ahhhmazing update soon plz

its an interesting story!!! please update ASAP!!!