great story very enjoyable!!

awsome! i love your story please update soon!

okay, first off I will admit that I like the plot and the main idea of the story. however, your grammar is killing me! "you'll" stands for you will, not y'all which means you all in a cowboy kind of way. it destroys the flow and makes it a hard read. edit before you post, it makes it more worthwhile. but good job with the writing style.