How old are you?!

You're formatting is slim to non existent, and you're perception of third person is completely a misfire.

Beyond that...it's hard to follow what you're actually getting at with this story.

You're story summary depicted a 'deeper' plot line, but there doesn't even seem to be any thought put into this. Have you at least outlined the story?

Try elaborating on your setting, creating an atmosphere, and sticking to ONE point of view - preferrably third person. But please figure out what third person IS before you attempt it again.

And see what that does for the length of your chapters. What do you have currently? 1/2 a page?

Please try spending a bit more time on the story rather than the fantasy of the story. You have a very good idea - your summary is proof enough. You just need some direction - and style/format coaching.

Keep going ...