Hello
omg...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
you had me lmao , actually my relatives were in the same room and they looked at me like i was crazy but i couldn't stop especially after the hawaii picture hahahahhahahaha
anyway very good work!!!! ^^ keep it up! =)
Awww, I LOVE it!!! I loved the bit about the irritating business associate and how Sess can't stop staring at his moustache - I giggled. And I definitely laughed at the tie part - I love how fast Kagome transitioned from "OMG SESSHOUMA- PFFFT TIE!"
Thank you for writing such a lovely story for my art!!!! *tossess confetti and dances in it*
It's a good story, but it needs to be edited. The verb tenses are wrong in many places and some of the phrasing is awkward. Note: Anything in brackets [ ] should be deleted.
Examples:
Spring [has] had come and Kagome thought it [was] would be nice to take a walk in the park, admiring [the bloom of] the cherry blossoms. She walked around, trying to find a spot where she [can] could enjoy the rest of her day, but the place was crowded, filled with families and couples trying to enjoy the day as well.
People bumped her now and then, and she swore she [will be developing] would have some nasty bruises when she [reaches] reached home.
'It’s like almost everyone [was] is here. It’s the weekday, people. Don’t you have work and school to go to?’ She thought and sighed in frustration. ‘And I have been planning this for months.’
See what I mean. You just need someone to go over it and smooth it out.
I could see a number of chapters following this. Kagome needs to reunite with Inuyasha and then fall in love with Sesshoumaru. After he falls head-over-heels for her first. I think this is a good start and I hope you continue.