I say repetition. Repetition, repetition, repetition XD This was a nice little lemon to get me going this morning. "Reality had a cruel way of denying you and giving you what you need at the same time." I loved this sentence. Nicely done!
LC Rose (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Dec 2008
| She should want more. And I like your lust bunnies! lol
| This is to good a start to be a oneshot I think you should continue as a chappie story. I want to see what happens when reality crashes in. But if this is it you did a great job kudos
Normally, grammar does detract from a story. Your mistakes, however, were quite minimal.
I like your little lemon baby. I hope the lust bunnies continue to hump away! xD
|D You're right. Grammar is really not your strong suit. As well as a few spelling errors here and there.
Nonetheless the plotless lemon bunnies were very enjoyable to read. It's good. Just watch your mechanical errors.
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